Fruitful hearts. Ricardo E. Facci

and end up arguing. There are things that we are afraid to discuss. We prefer to hide them under the carpet before sharing. This cannot go on like this”.

      The conflict arises when marital intimacy requires the sacrifice of one's “I” for the emergence of the “we”. The conflict is a symptom that something is wrong in the marital relationship, as in the case of Carmen and Rodolfo. Facing the conflict becomes an opportunity for growth, maturity and greater marital intimacy.

      The conflict is exacerbated when spouses get angry and become furious; to fix this it will be necessary to cope bravely with the anger itself.

      Those who know human behavior say that anger is inevitable in any intimate relationship, but in a special way in the marital relationship. Anger is an instinctive, emotional, automatic self-defense reaction. Anger is a feeling. Therefore, it is neither good nor bad. Furthermore, it should not be held within, rather expressed.

      A great truth is, expressed or not, anger and fury are present in every marriage; the key is that if the couple wants to grow and mature, they must learn how to deal with their anger and their fury. One solution is to recognize the anger in oneself in an open and sincere and loving dialogue as stated by Saint Paul, do not take your anger through the night.

      To dialogue as a couple

      1. What is the status now of our marriage?

      2. What are the main disagreements and differences between the two of us?

      3. Currently, is there a crisis in our marriage? If so, how can we discover it?

      4. What we do each to overcome it?

      5. How we could and should we increase our marital intimacy and mutual aid?

      To pray together

      Lord Jesus,

      The crises and conflicts in our married life,

      are a concrete help to the maturity

      and growth.

      Help us to recognize the problems

      Of our marriage,

      to confront them with a positive outlook

      Disposing a sincere and loving dialogue,

      knowing that in the manifestation of feelings,

      and the search for truth,

      it is the solution and will emerge

      with strength and courage

      the ability of forgiveness.

      Never sidestep

      our crises and conflicts,

      that we may not deceive ourselves

      believing that “everything is perfect”

      Ah! As well…

      when we're angry

      lest we forget you

      you're there ... close by ...

      Help us.

      Amen.