The Grain of Dust. David Graham Phillips. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: David Graham Phillips
Издательство: Bookwire
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Жанр произведения: Языкознание
Год издания: 0
isbn: 4064066235376
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know—he was thinking of her. "If she happens to meet a man with enough discernment to fall in love with her," he said to himself, "he certainly will never weary. What a pity that such a girl shouldn't have had a chance, should be wasted on some unappreciative chucklehead of her class! What a pity she hasn't ambition—or the quality, whatever it is—that makes those who have it get on, whether they wish or no."

      During the rest of the day he revolved from time to time indistinct ideas of somehow giving this girl a chance. He wished Josephine would and could help, or perhaps his sister Ursula. It was not a matter that could be settled, or even taken up, in haste. No man of his mentality and experience fails to learn how perilous it is in the least to interfere in the destiny of anyone. And his notion involved not slight interference with advice or suggestion or momentarily extended helping hand, but radical change of the whole current of destiny. Also, he appreciated how difficult it is for a man to do anything for a young woman—anything that would not harm more than it would help. Only one thing seemed clear to him—the "clever child" ought to have a chance.

      He went to see Josephine after dinner that night His own house, while richly and showily furnished, as became his means and station, seemed—and indeed was—merely an example of simple, old-fashioned "solid comfort" in comparison with the Burroughs palace. He had never liked, but, being a true New Yorker, had greatly admired the splendor of that palace, its costly art junk, its rotten old tapestries, its unlovely genuine antiques, its room after room of tasteless magnificence, suggesting a museum, or rather the combination home and salesroom of an art dealer. This evening he found himself curious, critical, disposed to license a long-suppressed sense of humor. While he was waiting for Josephine to come down to the small salon into which he had been shown, her older sister drifted in, on the way to a late dinner and ball. She eyed him admiringly from head to foot.

      "You've such an air, Fred," said she. "You should hear the butler on the subject of you. He says that of all the men who come to the house you are most the man of the world. He says he could tell it by the way you walk in and take off your hat and coat and throw them at him."

      Norman laughed and said, "I didn't know. I must stop that."

      "Don't!" cried Mrs. Bellowes. "You'll break his heart. He adores it. You know, servants dearly love to be treated as servants. Anyone who thinks the world loves equality knows very little about human nature. Most people love to look up, just as most women love to be ruled. No, you must continue to be the master, the man of the world, Fred."

      She was busy with her gorgeous and trailing wraps and with her cigarette or she would have seen his confusion. He was recalling his scene with the typewriter girl. Not much of the man of the world, then and there, certainly. What a grotesque performance for a man of his position, for a serious man of any kind! And how came he to permit such a person to mimic Josephine Burroughs, a lady, the woman to whom he was engaged? In these proud and pretentious surroundings he felt contemptibly guilty—and dazed wonder at his own inexplicable folly and weakness.

      Mrs. Bellowes departed before Josephine came down. So there was no relief for his embarrassment. He saw that she too felt constrained. Instead of meeting him half way in embrace and kiss, as she usually did, she threw him a kiss and pretended to be busy lighting a cigarette and arranging the shades of the table lamp. "Well, I saw your 'poor little creature,'" she began. She was splendidly direct in all her dealings, after the manner of people who have never had to make their own way—to cajole or conciliate or dread the consequences of frankness.

      "I told you you'd not find her interesting."

      "Oh, she was a nice little girl," replied Josephine with elaborate graciousness—and Norman, the "take off" fresh in his mind, was acutely critical of her manner, of her mannerisms. "Of course," she went on, "one does not expect much of people of that class. But I thought her unusually well-mannered—and quite clean."

      "Tetlow makes 'em clean up," said Norman, a gleam of sarcasm in his careless glance and tone. And into his nostrils stole an odor of freshness and health and youth, the pure, sweet odor that is the base of all the natural perfumes. It startled him, his vivid memory of a feature of her which he had not been until now aware that he had ever noted.

      "I offered her some work," continued Josephine, "but I guess you keep her too busy down there for her to do anything else."

      "Probably," said Norman. "Why do you sit on the other side of the room?"

      "Oh, I don't know," laughed Josephine. "I feel queer to-night. And it seems to me you're queer, too."

      "I? Perhaps rather tired, dear—that's all."

      "Did you and Miss Hallowell work hard to-day?"

      "Oh, bother Miss Hallowell. Let's talk about ourselves." And he drew her to the sofa at one end of the big fireplace. "I wish we hadn't set the wedding so far off." And suddenly he found himself wondering whether that remark had been prompted by eagerness—a lover's eagerness—or by impatience to have the business over and settled.

      "You don't act a bit natural to-night, Fred. You touch me as if I were a stranger."

      "I like that!" mocked he. "A stranger hold your hand like this?—and—kiss you—like this?"

      She drew away, suddenly laid her hands on his shoulders, kissed him upon the lips passionately, then looked into his eyes. "Do you love me, Fred?—really?"

      "Why so earnest?"

      "You've had a great deal of experience?"

      "More or less."

      "Have you ever loved any woman as you love me?"

      "I've never loved any woman but you. I never before wanted to marry a woman."

      "But you may be doing it because—well, you might be tired and want to settle down."

      "Do you believe that?"

      "No, I don't. But I want to hear you say it isn't so."

      "Well—it isn't so. Are you satisfied?"

      "I'm frightfully jealous of you, Fred."

      "What a waste of time!"

      "I've got something to confess—something I'm ashamed of."

      "Don't confess," cried he, laughing but showing that he meant it. "Just—don't be wicked again That's much better than confession."

      "But I must confess," insisted she. "I had evil thoughts evil suspicions about you. I've had them all day—until you came. As soon as I saw you I felt bowed into the dust. A man like you, doing anything so vulgar as I suspected you of—oh, dearest, I'm so ashamed!"

      He put his arms round her and drew her to his shoulder. And the scene of mimicry in his office flashed into his mind, and the blood burned in his cheeks. But he had no such access of insanity as to entertain the idea of confession.

      "It was that typewriter girl," continued Josephine. She drew away again and once more searched his face. "You told me she was homely."

      "Not exactly that."

      "Insignificant then."

      "Isn't she?"

      "Yes—in a way," said Josephine, the condescending note in her voice again—and in his mind Miss Hallowell's clever burlesque of that note. "But, in another way—Men are different from women. Now I—a woman of my sort—couldn't stoop to a man of her class. But men seem not to feel that way."

      "No," said he, irritated. "They've the courage to take what they want wherever they find it. A man will take gold out of the dirt, because gold is always gold. But a woman waits until she can get it at a fashionable jeweler's, and makes sure it's made up in a fashionable way. I don't like to hear you say those things."

      Her eyes flashed. "Then you do like that Hallowell girl!" she cried—and never before had her voice jarred upon him.

      "That Hallowell girl has nothing to do with this," he rejoined. "I like to feel that you really love me—that you'd