The Greatest Works of D. H. Lawrence. D. H. Lawrence. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: D. H. Lawrence
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play hostess, and thus bestow on her boarders the inestimable blessing of family life. Breakfast was at eight-thirty, and everyone attended. Vera sat opposite Beatrice, Frank sat on the maternal right hand; Mr MacWhirter, who was superior, sat on the left hand; next him sat Mr Allport, whose opposite was Mr Holiday. All were young men of less than thirty years. Mr MacWhirter was tall, fair, and stoutish; he was very quietly spoken, was humorous and amiable, yet extraordinarily learned. He never, by any chance, gave himself away, maintaining always an absolute reserve amid all his amiability. Therefore Frank would have done anything to win his esteem, while Beatrice was deferential to him. Mr Allport was tall and broad, and thin as a door; he had also a remarkably small chin. He was naïve, inclined to suffer in the first pangs of disillusionment; nevertheless, he was waywardly humorous, sometimes wistful, sometimes petulant, always gallant. Therefore Vera liked him, whilst Beatrice mothered him. Mr Holiday was short, very stout, very ruddy, with black hair. He had a disagreeable voice, was vulgar in the grain, but officiously helpful if appeal were made to him. Therefore Frank hated him. Vera liked his handsome, lusty appearance, but resented bitterly his behaviour. Beatrice was proud of the superior and skilful way in which she handled him, clipping him into shape without hurting him.

      One evening in July, eleven months after the burial of Siegmund, Beatrice went into the dining-room and found Mr Allport sitting with his elbow on the window-sill, looking out on the garden. It was half-past seven. The red rents between the foliage of the trees showed the sun was setting; a fragrance of evening-scented stocks filtered into the room through the open window; towards the south the moon was budding out of the twilight.

      ‘What, you here all alone!’ exclaimed Beatrice, who had just come from putting the children to bed. ‘I thought you had gone out.’

      ‘No — o! What’s the use,’ replied Mr Allport, turning to look at his landlady, ‘of going out? There’s nowhere to go.’

      ‘Oh, come! There’s the Heath, and the City — and you must join a tennis club. Now I know just the thing — the club to which Vera belongs.’

      ‘Ah, yes! You go down to the City — but there’s nothing there — what I mean to say — you want a pal — and even then — well’— he drawled the word —‘we-ell, it’s merely escaping from yourself — killing time.’

      ‘Oh, don’t say that!’ exclaimed Beatrice. ‘You want to enjoy life.’

      ‘Just so! Ah, just so!’ exclaimed Mr Allport. ‘But all the same — it’s like this — you only get up to the same thing tomorrow. What I mean to say — what’s the good, after all? It’s merely living because you’ve got to.’

      ‘You are too pessimistic altogether for a young man. I look at it differently myself; yet I’ll be bound I have more cause for grumbling. What’s the trouble now?’

      ‘We-ell — you can’t lay your finger on a thing like that! What I mean to say — it’s nothing very definite. But, after all — what is there to do but to hop out of life as quickly as possible? That’s the best way.’

      Beatrice became suddenly grave.

      ‘You talk in that way, Mr. Allport,’ she said. ‘You don’t think of the others.’

      ‘I don’t know,’ he drawled. ‘What does it matter? Look here — who’d care? What I mean to say — for long?’

      ‘That’s all very easy, but it’s cowardly,’ replied Beatrice gravely.

      ‘Nevertheless,’ said Mr. Allport, ‘it’s true — isn’t it?’

      ‘It is not — and I should know,’ replied Beatrice, drawing a cloak of reserve ostentatiously over her face. Mr. Allport looked at her and waited. Beatrice relaxed toward the pessimistic young man.

      ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I call it very cowardly to want to get out of your difficulties in that way. Think what you inflict on other people. You men, you’re all selfish. The burden is always left for the women.’

      ‘Ah, but then,’ said Mr. Allport very softly and sympathetically, looking at Beatrice’s black dress, ‘I’ve no one depending on me.’

      ‘No — you haven’t — but you’ve a mother and sister. The women always have to bear the brunt.’

      Mr. Allport looked at Beatrice, and found her very pathetic.

      ‘Yes, they do rather,’ he replied sadly, tentatively waiting.

      ‘My husband —’ began Beatrice. The young man waited. ‘My husband was one of your sort: he ran after trouble, and when he’d found it — he couldn’t carry it off — and left it — to me.’

      Mr. Allport looked at her very sympathetically.

      ‘You don’t mean it!’ he exclaimed softly. ‘Surely he didn’t —?’

      Beatrice nodded, and turned aside her face.

      ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I know what it is to bear that kind of thing — and it’s no light thing, I can assure you.’

      There was a suspicion of tears in her voice.

      ‘And when was this, then — that he —?’ asked Mr. Allport, almost with reverence.

      ‘Only last year,’ replied Beatrice.

      Mr. Allport made a sound expressing astonishment and dismay. Little by little Beatrice told him so much: ‘Her husband had got entangled with another woman. She herself had put up with it for a long time. At last she had brought matters to a crisis, declaring what she should do. He had killed himself — hanged himself — and left her penniless. Her people, who were very wealthy, had done for her as much as she would allow them. She and Frank and Vera had done the rest. She did not mind for herself; it was for Frank and Vera, who should be now enjoying their careless youth, that her heart was heavy.’

      There was silence for a while. Mr. Allport murmured his sympathy, and sat overwhelmed with respect for this little woman who was unbroken by tragedy. The bell rang in the kitchen. Vera entered.

      ‘Oh, what a nice smell! Sitting in the dark, Mother?’

      ‘I was just trying to cheer up Mr. Allport; he is very despondent.’

      ‘Pray do not overlook me,’ said Mr. Allport, rising and bowing.

      ‘Well! I did not see you! Fancy your sitting in the twilight chatting with the mater. You must have been an unscrupulous bore, maman.’

      ‘On the contrary,’ replied Mr. Allport, ‘Mrs. MacNair has been so good as to bear with me making a fool of myself.’

      ‘In what way?’ asked Vera sharply.

      ‘Mr. Allport is so despondent. I think he must be in love,’ said Beatrice playfully.

      ‘Unfortunately, I am not — or at least I am not yet aware of it,’ said Mr. Allport, bowing slightly to Vera.

      She advanced and stood in the bay of the window, her skirt touching the young man’s knees. She was tall and graceful. With her hands clasped behind her back she stood looking up at the moon, now white upon the richly darkening sky.

      ‘Don’t look at the moon, Miss MacNair, it’s all rind,’ said Mr Allport in melancholy mockery. ‘Somebody’s bitten all the meat out of our slice of moon, and left us nothing but peel.’

      ‘It certainly does look like a piece of melon-shell — one portion,’ replied Vera.

      ‘Never mind, Miss MacNair,’ he said, ‘Whoever got the slice found it raw, I think.’

      ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she said. ‘But isn’t it a beautiful evening? I will just go and see if I can catch the primroses opening.’

      ‘What primroses?’ he exclaimed.

      ‘Evening primroses — there are some.’

      ‘Are there?’ he said in surprise.