'Sir,' replied Miss Betsy very gravely, 'I shall always be thankful to my friends for their advice; and whenever I think seriously of a husband, shall not fail to intreat yours in my choice: but,' continued she, 'one would imagine my brother, by writing so pressingly to you, wanted to hurry me into a marriage whether I would or no; and though I have as much regard for him as a sister can or ought to have, yet I shall never be prevailed upon by him to enter into a state to which at present I have rather an aversion than inclination.'
'That is,' said Mr. Goodman, 'you have rather an aversion than an inclination to the persons who address you on that score.'—'No, Sir,' answered she, 'not at all; the persons and behaviour both of Mr. Trueworth and Mr. Staple appear to me to be unexceptionable: but sure one may allow a man to have merit, and be pleased with his conversation, without desiring to be tacked to him forever. I verily believe I shall never be in love; but if I am, it must be a long length of time, and a series of persevering assiduities must make me so.'
Mr. Goodman told her these were only romantick notions, which he doubted not but a little time would cure her of. What reply Miss Betsy would have made is uncertain, for the discourse was interrupted by a footman delivering a letter to her, in which she found these lines.
'To Miss Betsy Thoughtless.
Fair creature,
I am no courtier—no beau—and have hitherto had but little communication with your sex; but I am honest and sincere, and you may depend on the truth of what I say. I have, Heaven be praised, acquired a very large fortune, and for some time have had thoughts of marrying, to the end I might have a son to enjoy the fruits of my labours, after I am food either for the fishes or the worms—it is no great matter which of them. Now I have been wished to several fine, women, but my fancy gives the preference to you; and if you can like me as well, we shall be very happy together. I spoke to your guardian yesterday, (for I love to be above-board) but he seemed to dour, or as we say at sea, to be a little hazy on the matter, so I thought I would not trouble him any further, but write directly to you. I hear there are two about you; but what of that? I have doubled the Cape of Good Hope many a time, and never failed of reaching my intended port; I therefore see no cause why I should apprehend a wreck by land. I am turned of eight and forty, it is true, which, may be, you may think too old: but I must tell you, dear pretty one, that I have a constitution that will wear out twenty of your washy pampered landmen of not half my age. Whatever your fortune is, I will settle accordingly; and, moreover, will secure something handsome to you at my decease, in case you should chance to be the longest liver. I know you young women do not care a man should have anything under your hand, so expect no answer; but desire you will consider on my proposals, and let me know your mind this evening at five o'clock, when I shall come to Mr. Goodman's, let him take it how he will. I can weather out any storm to come at you; and sincerely am, dear soul, your most faithful and affectionate lover,
J. Hysom.'
There were some passages in this letter that set Betsy Thoughtless into such immoderate fits of laughter, as made her a long time in going through it. Having finished the whole, she turned to Mr. Goodman, and putting it into his hands—'Be pleased, Sir, to read that,' said she; 'you shall own, at least, that I do not make a secret of all my lovers to you.' Mr. Goodman soon looked it over; and, after returning it to her—'How troublesome a thing it is,' said he, 'to be the guardian to a beautiful young lady! Whether I grant, or whether I refuse, the consent required of me, I equally gain ill-will from one side or the other.'
Lady Mellasin, who had all this morning complained of a violent headache, and said nothing during this conversation, now cried out, 'What new conquest is this Miss Betsy has made?'—'O Madam!' replied Miss Betsy, 'your ladyship shall judge of the value of it by the doughty epistle I have just received.' With these words, she gave the letter to Miss Flora, desiring her to read it aloud, which she did; but was obliged, as Miss Betsy herself had done, to stop several times and hold her sides, before she got to the conclusion; and Lady Mellasin, as little as she was then inclined to mirth, could not forbear smiling to hear the manner in which this declaration of love was penned. 'You are all very merry,' said Mr. Goodman; 'but I can tell you, Captain Hysom is a match that many a fine lady in this town would jump at; he has been twenty-five years in the service of the East India Company; has made very successful voyages, and is immensely rich: he has lived at sea, indeed, the greatest part of his life, and much politeness cannot be expected from him; but he is a very honest good-natured man, and I believe means well. I wish he had offered himself to Flora.'—'Perhaps, Sir, I should not have refused him,' replied she, briskly; 'I should like a husband prodigiously that would be abroad for three whole years, and leave me to bowl about in my coach and six, while he ploughed the ocean in search of new treasures to throw into my lap at his return.'
'Well, well,' said Miss Betsy, laughing still more, 'who knows but when I have teazed him a little, he may fly for shelter to your more clement goodness!'—'Aye, aye,' cried Mr. Goodman, 'you are a couple of mad-caps, indeed; and, I suppose, the captain will be finely managed: but, no matter, I shall not pity him, as I partly told him what he might expect.'
After this Mr. Goodman went out; and the young ladies went up to dress against dinner, diverting themselves all the time with the poor captain's letter. Miss Betsy told Miss Flora that, as he was for coming so directly to the point, she must use all her artifice in order to keep him in suspense; 'For,' said she, 'if I should let him know any part of my real sentiments concerning him, he would be gone at once, and we should lose all our sport: I will, therefore,' continued she, 'make him believe that I dare not openly encourage his pretensions, because my brother hath recommended one gentleman to me, and Mr. Goodman another; but shall assure him, at the same time, that I am inclined to neither of them; and shall contrive to get rid of them both as soon as possible. This,' said she, 'will keep him in hopes, without my downright promising any thing particular in his favour.'
Miss Flora told her she was a perfect Machiavel in love-affairs; and was about to say something more, when a confused sound of several voices, among which she distinguished that of Lady Mellasin very loud, made her run down stairs to see what was the occasion; but Miss Betsy staid in the chamber, being busily employed in something belonging to her dress; or, had she be less engaged, it is not probable she would have troubled herself about the matter, as she supposed it only a quarrel between Lady Mellasin and some of the servants, as in effect it was; and she, without asking, was immediately informed.
Nanny, the upper house-maid, and the same who had delivered Mr. Saving's letter to Miss Betsy, and carried her answer to him, coming up with a broom in her hand, in order to sweep her lady's dressing-room, ran into the chamber of Miss Betsy, and seeing that she was alone, 'Oh, Miss!' said she, 'there is the devil to do below.'—'I heard a sad noise, indeed,' said she, carelessly. 'Why, you must know, Miss,' cried the maid, 'that my lady hath given John, the butler, warning; and so, his time being up, Mrs. Prinks hath orders to pay him off this morning, but would have stopped thirty shillings for a silver orange-strainer that is missing. John would not allow it; and being in a passion, told Mrs. Prinks that he would not leave the house without his full wages; that, for any thing he knew, the strainer might be gone after the diamond necklace. This, I suppose, she repeated to my lady, and that put her in so ill a humour this morning, that if my master had not come down as he did, we should all have had something at our heads. However,' continued the wench, 'she ordered Mrs. Prinks to give him his whole money; but, would you believe it, Miss! my master was no sooner gone out, than she came down into the kitchen raving, and finding John there still, (the poor fellow, God knows, only staid to take his leave of us) she tore about, and swore we should all go; accused one of one thing, and another of another.'—'Well, but what did the fellow mean about the diamond necklace?' cried Miss Betsy, interrupting her. 'I will tell you the whole story,' said she; 'but you must promise never to speak a word of it to any body; for though I do not value the place, nor will stay much longer, yet they would not give one a character you know, Miss