ROMEO.
A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk; and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.
NURSE.
An ‘a speak anything against me, I’ll take him down, an’a were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks; and if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates.—And thou must stand by too, and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure!
PETER.
I saw no man use you at his pleasure; if I had, my weapon should quickly have been out, I warrant you: I dare draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law on my side.
NURSE.
Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave!—Pray you, sir, a word: and, as I told you, my young lady bid me enquire you out; what she bade me say I will keep to myself: but first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behaviour, as they say: for the gentlewoman is young; and, therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
ROMEO.
Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest unto thee,—
NURSE.
Good heart, and i’ faith I will tell her as much: Lord,
Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
ROMEO.
What wilt thou tell her, nurse? thou dost not mark me.
NURSE.
I will tell her, sir,—that you do protest: which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
ROMEO.
Bid her devise some means to come to shrift
This afternoon;
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence’ cell
Be shriv’d and married. Here is for thy pains.
NURSE.
No, truly, sir; not a penny.
ROMEO.
Go to; I say you shall.
NURSE.
This afternoon, sir? well, she shall be there.
ROMEO.
And stay, good nurse, behind the abbey-wall:
Within this hour my man shall be with thee,
And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair;
Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
Must be my convoy in the secret night.
Farewell; be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains:
Farewell; commend me to thy mistress.
NURSE.
Now God in heaven bless thee!—Hark you, sir.
ROMEO.
What say’st thou, my dear nurse?
NURSE.
Is your man secret? Did you ne’er hear say,
Two may keep counsel, putting one away?
ROMEO.
I warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.
NURSE.
Well, sir; my mistress is the sweetest lady.—Lord, Lord! when ‘twas a little prating thing,—O, there’s a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard; but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I anger her sometimes, and tell her that Paris is the properer man; but I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?
ROMEO.
Ay, nurse; what of that? both with an R.
NURSE.
Ah, mocker! that’s the dog’s name. R is for the dog: no; I know it begins with some other letter:—and she hath the prettiest sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good to hear it.
ROMEO.
Commend me to thy lady.
NURSE.
Ay, a thousand times. [Exit Romeo.]—Peter!
PETER.
Anon?
NURSE.
Peter, take my fan, and go before.
[Exeunt.]
SCENE V
Capulet’s Garden.
[Enter Juliet.]
JULIET.
The clock struck nine when I did send the nurse;
In half an hour she promis’d to return.
Perchance she cannot meet him: that’s not so.—
O, she is lame! love’s heralds should be thoughts,
Which ten times faster glide than the sun’s beams,
Driving back shadows over lowering hills:
Therefore do nimble-pinion’d doves draw love,
And therefore hath the wind-swift Cupid wings.
Now is the sun upon the highmost hill
Of this day’s journey; and from nine till twelve
Is three long hours,—yet she is not come.
Had she affections and warm youthful blood,
She’d be as swift in motion as a ball;
My words would bandy her to my sweet love,
And his to me:
But old folks, many feign as they were dead;
Unwieldy, slow, heavy and pale as lead.—
O God, she comes!
[Enter Nurse and Peter].
O honey nurse, what news?
Hast thou met with him? Send thy man away.
NURSE.
Peter, stay at the gate.
[Exit Peter.]
JULIET.
Now, good sweet nurse,—O Lord, why look’st thou sad?
Though news be sad, yet tell them merrily;
If good, thou sham’st the music of sweet news
By playing it to me with so sour a face.
NURSE.
I am aweary, give me leave awhile;—
Fie, how my bones ache! what a jaunt have I had!
JULIET.
I would thou hadst my bones, and I thy news:
Nay, come, I pray thee speak;—good, good nurse, speak.
NURSE.
Jesu, what haste? can you not stay awhile?