Hope and Joy & The Return. Ellie Stewart

sure I laughed the first time.

      MAGNUS: I don’t think it’s her first time Mum. She said, ‘Don’t you even wax?’

      HOPE: Wax?

      Down there?

      MAGNUS: Everyone’s waxing.

      And then we were learning how to prepare chicken and I felt sick so I / went to

      HOPE: Wait a minute …

      Melissa put her hand down your trousers in Food Tech?

      MAGNUS: Don’t be stupid. That would be totally unhygienic. Food Tech’s straight after break.

      HOPE: Right.

      MAGNUS: I went to the school office and they tried to phone you but I had to go back to class.

      HOPE: Shit!

      …

      Sorry Magnus.

      MAGNUS: Do you know how they pluck birds?

      They scald the carcass in hot water and put it in a rotating drum with spikes. Then they singe the skin to get the fluff off.

      It smells terrible.

      Like burning hair.

      HOPE: Oh Magnus … you shouldn’t have to sit through that.

      MAGNUS: Don’t do anything, Mum. Don’t go and complain or anything stupid like that.

      HOPE: …

      MAGNUS: It’s no big deal and the teachers’ll just laugh at me.

      HOPE: The teachers laugh at you?

      MAGNUS: They’re always laughing at me.

      Pause.

      MAGNUS: Please?

      HOPE: OK.

      MAGNUS: Promise?

      Pause.

      MAGNUS: Do you think I should wax?

      HOPE: I have no idea. But if Melissa’s laughing at you then …

      MAGNUS: I should wax.

      HOPE: No. Maybe she’s not right for you.