PAUL: Right.
WHEELER: And you can see the ocean.
PAUL: You can?
WHEELER: Look through there.
PAUL: I am.
WHEELER: Stand here. Now stand up straight.
PAUL: What, is that it?
WHEELER: You’re looking to the right of the silver building?
PAUL: Oh, there it is, got it.
WHEELER: Yeah, so there’s a view.
PAUL: And did this furniture come with the place?
WHEELER: Yeah, you could get it with or without. I mean, what am I gonna do, go out and buy a bunch of furniture?
PAUL: You could.
WHEELER: Fuck that. This stuff is fine. (Pause) You want a beer?
(Paul hesitates.)
Have a beer. It’s the least I can do.
PAUL: Sure, I got a few minutes.
WHEELER: You want a glass?
PAUL: No, that’s okay.
WHEELER: The grocery store isn’t far from here.
PAUL: That’s good.
WHEELER: And that huge Vietnamese market. It’s like the Walmart of Vietnamese markets.
PAUL: Here’s to the new place.
WHEELER: The new place.
(They clink bottles.)
PAUL: This should make dating easier, right? A place to bring all your ladies. It’s not like you could take them back to Kelly’s garage.
WHEELER: I really should not be with a woman right now.
PAUL: Yeah, okay.
WHEELER: I mean it. It’s hard for me right now to even just sit with a woman and have a conversation. I’m too old to pretend to be something I’m not and a lot of the things I am are not attractive. And this divorce has a way to go, and it’s not nasty exactly, but I can see nasty from here.
PAUL: Really.
WHEELER: The money’s turned into a sticking point. Which is strange.
PAUL: Yeah, cause you don’t have any money.
WHEELER: I get that my kid’s involved so I’m prepared to pay for that. But I sat down with Kelly and I threw out a number and she said, “You’re not even close.” I said, “What’s your number?” And she wrote it down—I think she knew how outrageous it would sound spoken out into the world—and it was a number so high only dogs could hear it. So now we got arbitration and these asshole lawyers and it’s a big fucking clusterfuck.
PAUL: This has been going on for more than a year.
WHEELER: Two years, this past Valentine’s Day. The affair, the discovery of the affair, was more than two years ago.
PAUL: Two years! Wheeler! That’s a long time to live like this.
WHEELER: What do you mean, “like this?”
PAUL: Like a character from a Steely Dan song.
WHEELER: I’m all right. My marriage went south, I’m not the first.
PAUL: How’s Gabe?
WHEELER: Who knows? He doesn’t talk to me.
PAUL: He doesn’t talk to you.
WHEELER: He’s thirteen, he doesn’t talk to anybody. I don’t know what’s going on with him. He’s all fucked up.
PAUL: Does he talk to Kelly?
WHEELER: He’ll give her some sass but that’s a whole mother-son thing, I got nothing to do with it. It’s them against the world. He just grunts with me. A grunt is a lot, really. You get a grunt, you really feel like you’re getting somewhere.
PAUL: But he’s all right?
WHEELER: How the fuck would I know?! He could be sniffing glue and pulling the wings off birds, for all I know.
PAUL: Is he still playing ball?
WHEELER: That ended a while ago. He doesn’t do anything.
He’s on the computer a lot.
(A moment.)
PAUL: All right, I should get going.
WHEELER: Yeah, go eat a steak. Tell Margaret I said hello.
PAUL: I’ll do it.
WHEELER: And if your friends voted for Trump, tell them a grateful nation says go fuck yourself.
PAUL: All right.
WHEELER: And thanks for your help today, I appreciate it. Y’know, I’ve got this hip.
PAUL: So if we fixed you up, would you be up for that?
WHEELER: Who’s we? Is this your idea or is it Margaret’s?
PAUL: Margaret’s.
WHEELER: Okay, sure, what’s the pitch? Who is this?
PAUL: You don’t know her.
WHEELER: I like her already.
PAUL: And she’s nice looking.
WHEELER: I’m not so hung up on that.
PAUL: I admire that about you. Your lack of standards.
WHEELER: Come on, look at me. You gotta know what pool you’re swimming in. Is she roughly my age?
PAUL: She’s a little younger than you.
WHEELER: Not too young. I don’t want some girl who doesn’t remember New Coke.
PAUL: Not too young.
WHEELER: Does she have a job?
PAUL: She has a job. She has a good job.
WHEELER: She’s not the mayor or something like that, is she?
PAUL: I don’t know if it’s a good job. It’s an interesting job. She’s a life coach.
WHEELER: What the fuck.
PAUL: A life coach. She helps people, y’know . . .
WHEELER: What, breathe?
PAUL: It’s for people who get stuck. They’re dissatisfied with life, or some aspect of their life.
WHEELER: Not like anyone I know.
PAUL: They procrastinate, or their home life is in a rut, or they just can’t decide what it is they really want to do with their life, so they consult with Jules. She’s got a healthy business, works for herself, has a lot of clients.
WHEELER: How do you know her?
PAUL: Margaret used her. She helped Margaret launch this new business with the apps.
WHEELER: The carpet thing?
PAUL: Home design. Yes.
WHEELER: How’s that going?
PAUL: Going great.
WHEELER: She making any money off that?
PAUL: Not really.
WHEELER: Any?
PAUL: No.
WHEELER: What did you say this woman’s name is? Jules?
PAUL: Jules Isch.
WHEELER: Are you saying her first name isn’t exactly Jules?
PAUL: