She gulped. The feel of his hands holding hers was doing strange things. She felt...she felt...
Stop it with the feeling, she told herself. Just say what she needed to say.
‘I can’t tell you how grateful I was to hear that Jake was safe,’ she managed.
‘You never doubted it.’
‘I never admitted to you that I doubted it.’
He smiled, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. It was a smile that said there was trouble somewhere.
Trouble? What could be wrong in this man’s perfect world?
‘Is anything wrong?’ she asked. ‘With Jake, I mean?’
‘What should be wrong? He’s fine.’
‘It’s just...you look...’
‘He’s fine,’ he said, almost roughly. But she knew there was something.
How did she know this man so well, this man in his billionaire’s office with his billionaire’s suit? She thought, He has the hawklike, all-seeing eyes but two can play at that game. Reading minds.
She knew this guy. Inside he was just...Ben.
The thought settled her. It was okay. Underneath the glossy exterior he was still the man she’d held until the terror had faded.
She had been right to come.
‘How’s Heinz?’ he asked.
‘Probably bored. My next-door neighbour’s looking after him. How’s the knee?’
‘You came half a world to ask about my knee?’
‘No.’ It was time. She released his hands and took a step back. She wanted to watch his face when she said what she had to say.
She was here for a purpose. Do it.
‘Ben,’ she said, and then she paused.
‘Mary?’
Say it.
‘I came to tell you I’m pregnant.’
HE DIDN’T GET his face right fast enough.
He didn’t know how to.
Mary had stepped back so she was standing against the closed doors. She was pressing herself hard against the doors, her chin tilted, almost defiant.
That was an appalling suit she was wearing, he thought irrelevantly. She’d looked better in torn jeans.
Pregnant.
The word seemed to echo round and round the massive office. Deals were done in this room that affected the finances of the world. Yet nothing had ever been said in this office that seemed more important than this.
Pregnant.
‘It’s okay,’ she said, hurriedly now as if she needed to clear whatever it was she saw on his face. ‘I’m not here to sue you for half you own. I don’t even want acknowledgement if you’d rather not. I just thought...I needed to tell you.’
‘But I thought...’ He was having trouble getting his voice to work. ‘I thought...’ But he hadn’t thought. That was how it had happened—thought had been shelved. Their mating had been born of primeval need, with no thought of consequences.
The consequences now were blowing his mind.
‘Maybe you thought there are morning-after options,’ she said. ‘There are. I just...didn’t think of them until it was way after the morning after.’
And it was all there on her face. This wasn’t a discussion about whether or not to go ahead with a pregnancy.
This woman was having his child.
He should walk forward, take her in his arms, hold her close and tell her this was joyful news.
He couldn’t.
A baby.
Family.
His mother... The mess that was their family... He’d even messed it up with Jake. He couldn’t hold anything together. Could a baby be tough and self-reliant? Not in a million years. But for him to be needed... For a child to rely on him...
‘It’s okay,’ Mary said again, her tone gentling. ‘This was a shock to me, too, believe it or not. Sense was blown away with the storm. But now I’ve decided that I want this baby and, Ben, what you’ve done for me makes it possible. Thanks to your lawyer I have the cheque from my family and I have my job back. My baby and I will be fine. It’s just...I came here because I thought I owed you this much.’
‘You owe me?’
‘This is not a trap, Ben. I’m not here to ask you for anything. But for me, somehow this pregnancy seems right. I never imagined it but now it’s happened it’s wondrous. It seems amazing that something like this could come from...from what we had. So the more I thought about it, the more I decided I needed to tell you, face to face, in case for you this baby might help...’
‘What on earth do you mean?’
‘I mean this baby is bringing me joy, Ben,’ she said gently. ‘I know there’ll be problems. I know it’ll be tough, but the moment I realised I was pregnant all I felt was happiness. That something so wonderful could come from such a...’
‘Chance coupling?’ He said it harshly, cruelly even. She should flinch. Maybe she did, inside, but if she did she hid it well.
‘It might have been a chance coupling for you,’ she said, the chin tilting again, ‘but for me it was like a dividing line. Before and after. I know that doesn’t make sense to you but for me it’s huge. I went to the island feeling defeated. I came home thinking I could cope with anything the world threw at me. I have the strength and happiness to raise this baby alone. Ben, you have no need to do anything. If you like, I won’t even put your name on my baby’s birth certificate. But I thought...I just had to tell you.’
He didn’t answer. He didn’t know what to say.
‘I’ll go now,’ she said gently. ‘Ben, there’ll be no repercussions. For you it was a chance coupling, but for me it was magic. I believe our baby was conceived in love, and I’ll remember that forever. Thank you, Ben. Thank you for my baby. Thank you for everything.’
And she turned and walked out the door.
* * *
She’d sounded sure, but her certainty faded the moment she closed the door behind her. Why had she come?
Back in New Zealand it had seemed like the only honourable thing to do. She’d meet him face to face. She’d explain that he was going to be a father.
Okay, a tiny part of her had been hoping for joy, but that was a tiny part. A dumb part.
Mostly she’d thought the conversation would be brief and businesslike, with her assuring him she didn’t expect support. He needed to know he had a child but she didn’t want more help.
What she hadn’t expected was horror.
Maybe he had assumed she was here for a share in the Logan billions, but she didn’t think so. The look on Ben’s face had said this wasn’t about money.
Why wouldn’t the elevator come? She shoved the button again and thought maybe she’d hit the fire stairs.
She was a long way up.
She wanted to go home. Fiercely, she wanted to be home.
She never wanted to see that look on Ben’s face again. She never