She put the fork down on her plate, unable to make herself take that bite. And then slowly she raised her eyes again, prepared now to make contact with his.
Josh was eating, his concentration seemingly on the newspaper that was folded to fit beside his plate. Just as if he hadn’t seen her.
But he had. There was no doubt in her mind about that. Which must mean that he didn’t want to acknowledge her. Not in so public a place. And he was probably right about that.
She knew where he lived. She could approach him at his apartment building. Or maybe on his way home, which was even safer, because it would give him the opportunity to decide where they should talk.
As she was thinking all that, the question she had been trying to deal with was still stirring in the back of her mind. For the past three years, she had tried not to think about Josh Stone because she had believed he was dead. Had he ever, during all that time, thought about her? After all, he had always known where to find her. Which must mean…
She turned her head, looking out at the street through the rain-streaked plate glass window beside her. Which must mean, she continued doggedly, no matter how painful she found the conclusion, that Josh had consciously made the decision not to try to see her again.
That decision would have nothing to do with whatever rules the CIA had set up for his disappearance. Joshua Stone didn’t play by the rules. Few of Griff’s agents ever had. That characteristic was almost a requirement for the EST. If Josh had wanted to contact her, he would have. And since he hadn’t, she would have to assume he hadn’t wanted to.
She could deal with that. She could deal with almost anything, she decided, feeling anger build again, as long as whatever was going on with Joshua Stone and the CIA didn’t get her called into Steiner’s office for the third degree. Or didn’t make the agency bug her apartment.
She wanted an explanation for those two things. A truthful explanation, which she would never get from Steiner. Eventually, she damn well would get it from Josh Stone. After all, she thought with a trace of bitterness, he at least owed her that.
While Josh finished his dinner, and he didn’t hurry over the meal, Paige drank the rest of her coffee, savoring both its warmth and the subtle stimulation of the caffeine. She couldn’t keep her gaze from touching on him occasionally, and after a while she stopped trying.
His eyes were still locked on the newspaper he had brought in with him, acting as if he were completely unaware that Paige was sitting across the room. Of course, Josh was better at this game than she was. He always had been.
As soon as she saw the waiter bring his bill, she signaled for hers. She handed her server a ten, without taking the check he presented and waving away his attempt to make change. She slipped into her coat and headed straight toward the door, making no effort either to avoid or to pass near Josh’s table.
He had made it clear by meeting her eyes that he was aware of her. And he had made it equally clear, by ignoring her, that he didn’t want them to be seen together.
When she stepped through the door, she realized the rain that had plagued the Georgia city for most of the past two days had finally stopped. However, it must have dropped ten degrees while they’d been eating. She turned up the collar of her coat, holding it around her throat with one gloved hand.
She began to walk the three blocks to Josh’s apartment, her eyes searching every foot of that distance for somewhere she could wait for him. It would need to be out of public view and yet within hailing distance of the sidewalk where he would pass. An alley or a recessed doorway. Actually, anything hidden or relatively sheltered from the eyes of passersby would do.
She could always wait beside the steps that led up to the front entrance of his apartment building. That was almost as public as the restaurant, however, and she suspected Josh wouldn’t be any more eager to be seen with her there.
Finally, having found nothing better, she went down the short flight of stairs that led to the basement entrance of his building. She leaned against the damp concrete block wall, not fighting the memories the feel of it evoked, and looked up at the steps he would have to climb to reach the front door.
She wasn’t sure he would notice her standing down here. And she still wasn’t sure she would speak to him if he didn’t. Actually, she admitted, she wasn’t sure about much of anything.
Except that Joshua Stone wasn’t dead. And that he had never sought her out during the three years that had passed since she had last seen him that night in Vladistan.
WHEN PAIGE finally heard footsteps, unconsciously she pressed more closely against the wall, her body hidden in the shadows as she listened. The footsteps passed by the front entrance and then by those that led down to the alcove under the stairs where she was hiding. She looked up in time to watch the man whose steps she’d been listening to walk by. It wasn’t Josh, and she took a breath in relief.
Maybe he had stopped off somewhere on the way home to do some shopping or an errand. Or maybe he wasn’t coming home because he suspected she would be waiting for him. And maybe a whole hell of a lot of other things, none of which she would have answers to unless Josh gave them to her. He obviously didn’t plan to do that unless she approached him and asked for them.
What was wrong with her? she wondered suddenly. What was she doing here, waiting for a man who had made it clear he didn’t want to see her? For some reason, she closed her eyes, fighting the sudden sting of tears. And she couldn’t understand why she had this ridiculous urge to cry.
After all, the reason she was here wasn’t personal. Their former relationship had impinged on her professional life. She was convinced that someone had bugged her apartment because of her association with Josh Stone, and she wanted to know why. She wanted answers that made sense. Answers from him.
The footsteps that approached this time didn’t move past the entrance. She opened her eyes, ears straining to follow them. When they started up the front stairs, her heart jolted again, as strongly as when Josh had met her eyes across the restaurant.
And those reactions, after three long, silent years, made her furious. Not at him, but at herself. Using that anger, Paige stepped out of the shadows, looking up at the man climbing the stairs. At the man she had known as Joshua Stone.
Perhaps he noticed the movement. Or maybe the intensity of her stare made some kind of psychic impact. Whatever drew his attention, Josh looked down, again right into her eyes. Despite the distance between them, she could see his widen. Then they narrowed slightly, just as they used to when he was trying to figure something out. And this one shouldn’t be too hard.
She didn’t say anything, and neither did he. Their gazes held for maybe twenty seconds, and then he came quickly down the stairs he had just climbed. He glanced over to where she was standing a couple of times as he made the descent. To keep an eye on her? Afraid she’d disappear? she wondered, not even bothering this time to deny the corrosive bitterness she had fought during the last two days.
But disappearing wasn’t her act. That’s what he did. What he had done, she amended. He had just…disappeared.
Josh walked over to the top of the flight of steps leading down to the covered basement entrance where she was standing. He stood a long moment, unmoving, still looking at her.
“You were in the restaurant,” he said finally.
She nodded, not trusting her voice to sound anywhere near normal. And, damn it, she wanted it to. She wanted it to sound calm and rational and unemotional.
“Were you waiting for me?” he asked.
How about for three years. Which wasn’t completely fair, she admitted. Most of that time she had believed Josh must be dead. So that didn’t constitute waiting, exactly. Besides, they had made no commitments. Not even…
“Is something wrong?” he asked. “Are you in trouble?”
“Steiner’s