Aware that her thoughts had run away from her, she looked up, discovering to her consternation Alexander watching her carefully. ‘I was just wondering why you are considering me as a wife, when...’
‘There are women queueing up for the privilege?’ He smiled faintly. ‘Perhaps because there are not. What I’m wondering is why you are considering my proposal. To put it bluntly, Miss Brannagh, though we will live separate lives once we have established the marriage in the eyes of the world, we will remain legally married. For the sake of appearances, Fearnoch House in London must be your main residence—and I hope you will treat it as your home. For form’s sake it must be my home too, during the time when my work does not detain me abroad. So our paths will cross, albeit infrequently, though Fearnoch House is, I gather, large enough to permit us to live under its roof without encountering each other unless we wish to.’
‘You gather? I thought you said it was the family home?’
‘And has been for generations, but it has never been my home.’
For reasons he did not wish to discuss, judging by his tone. ‘But—forgive me, your brother died almost a year ago, and though you were abroad at the time, you’ve been back in England...’
‘Until I marry, Miss Brannagh, I have no rights to anything but the title. Fearnoch House has been closed up since Walter died. The family lawyer has been administering the estate. My mother continues in the Dower House in the country, and I have continued in my own lodgings.’
‘I had no idea.’
‘Why should you?’
Since Eloise could think of nothing to say to this, she decided, wisely, for once to say nothing.
‘I can assure you that once we are married—if we marry,’ Alexander continued, ‘you will be free to live your life as you choose, but—forgive me, but I think it imperative that we are clear on one delicate matter. Since there can be no question of a divorce or even an annulment, you understand that there can be no prospect of your having children?’
Once again, her cheeks flamed. She had not anticipated their discussions becoming so personal. ‘I do understand that, and I assure you it’s not an issue,’ Eloise said hurriedly. ‘I am not—I’m not—that more intimate aspect of marriage does not appeal to me. Furthermore, I have never wanted children.’
‘May I know why?’
She didn’t want to explain herself, reluctant to recall those miserable years in Ireland. Already, she had the impression that Alexander Sinclair was the type of man who saw a great deal more than he let on, and she didn’t want him peering into the dark nooks and crannies of her past. ‘If we do not have children—I mean, if you and your wife don’t have offspring, then the Fearnoch estates will pass to your cousin, I presume?’
‘Yes, though I don’t see why...’
‘My point is, that’s what you’re trying to avoid, isn’t it—his bringing the estates to rack and ruin. I am not suggesting that you will die prematurely...’ As his brother did! ‘What I mean is, that there’s a chance, at some point, that what you’re trying to prevent might come to pass if you don’t have children of your own.’
‘No, there’s no chance of that.’ Alexander said grimly. ‘I haven’t made myself clear. As far as the estates are concerned, my intentions are first to protect them by preventing my cousin from inheriting, and then to secure them for the future by ridding myself of them.’
‘Ridding yourself?’
‘I believe that those who have lived and farmed the lands for generations are far more entitled to profit from them than I.’
‘That is an extremely philanthropic point of view to take.’
‘It is a question of what is right, as well as what is in the best interests of those concerned.’
There was that tightness in his expression again that made her feel uncomfortable, as if she had inadvertently opened the door on something extremely painful and very private. Could he be thinking that he would, like his brother, die young?
‘It should go without saying,’ he said drily, ‘that your settlement would be safe, as would my mother’s.’
‘That is not what I was worried about!’ She stared at him, aghast. ‘I was thinking about you, your brother—if he died of some sort of hereditary disease, it would explain why you do not wish for children. To have such a—a cloud hanging over you...’ She broke off, blinking furiously as tears blurred her eyes. Alexander looked quite thunderstruck, and no wonder, the poor man. He looked so healthy. Eloise searched frantically for her handkerchief.
‘Miss Brannagh, I am in rude health, I assure you. My brother’s demise was largely self-inflicted.’
‘Oh. I see.’ Though she didn’t, quite, but she could not possibly embarrass herself further by asking. ‘I don’t think I could bear to marry you, only to have you die on me. People would think I was a murderess as well as a gold-digger.’
She had meant it to make light of the situation, but his smile faded immediately. ‘I have only just met you, but I am absolutely certain that you are not a gold-digger.’
‘Well, no, I’m not, but...’
He caught her hands in his. ‘As you can imagine, the life of an Admiralty Victualling Commissioner is fraught, danger lurks behind every inventory. There, I have made you smile! But there is an important point to be made. What I’m proposing is a purely—I believe the term is companionate relationship, though we won’t be companions in that sense, for I will be away much of the time, as I said.’
‘I do understand that, Alexander. I’m not sure exactly...’
‘I won’t marry you, if you—forgive me if this sounds presumptuous, but you must not become overly fond of me.’
She was mistaken, was reading too much into what he said, he was simply being scrupulously honest, and she appreciated that. Yet there was such a bleakness in his eyes, his expression so earnest, and his grip on her fingers so tight. Then it dawned on her, and she felt extremely foolish. Even she, who considered herself utterly immune to such things, had found herself momentarily attracted to the man and he had sensed it. ‘I won’t fall in love with you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I assure you, that sort of thing is anathema to me, so you need have no fears, I will respect both our marriage vows and the terms under which we must live them.’
He studied her for a long moment. She held her breath, realising as she did so, that if he did not believe her, he would leave, and she wanted him to stay. Very much. When he nodded, her audible sigh of relief made her want to cringe. ‘Inscrutability is not one of my talents,’ she said.
To her surprise, he smiled. ‘I would rather say that you lack guile, and I find it charming.’
‘You mean I’m naïve.’
‘I always say what I mean, Miss Brannagh. You are a surprise. A very pleasant one.’
He lifted her hand to his lips, brushing a kiss to her fingertips before getting to his feet. Wholly taken aback, flustered as much by the unexpected leaping of her pulses as by the odd compliment, Eloise glanced at the clock and exclaimed in dismay, ‘I haven’t even offered you a cup of tea. Would you like one? Please don’t say that you would, simply because you feel obliged to. If you think that perhaps we’ve said all there is to say and you wish to leave I won’t be—this would be a good time to—because there’s no point in continuing if...’
‘Take a breath, Miss Brannagh, I beg of you.’
He was, to her relief, still smiling. She did as he bid her. ‘What I’m trying to say is, if you have formed an unfavourable impression of me, following this admittedly awkward conversation, then it