Feeling therapies: Soothing the inner storm
Anxiety sets off a storm of distressing physical symptoms, such as a racing heartbeat, upset stomach, muscle tension, sweating, dizziness, and so on. Making a few tweaks to your lifestyle such as increased exercise, better diet, and adequate sleep help a little. But our primary recommendation is to figure out how to approach distressing physical symptoms with an accepting attitude. Chapter 8 offers guidance on what’s called mindful acceptance.
Finding the right help
We suppose it’s not too presumptuous to assume that because you’re reading this book, you or someone you know suffers from anxiety. And you’d probably like to tackle anxiety. This book is a great place to get started on managing your anxiety.
Then again, sometimes self-help efforts fall short, especially when anxiety is moderate to severe in intensity. Chapter 23 provides ten critical signs that indicate a likely need for professional help. See Chapter 4 for information about finding the right professional for you.
If you do need professional consultation, many qualified therapists will work with you on the ideas contained in this book. That’s because most mental health professionals will appreciate the comprehensive nature of the material and the fact that most of the strategies are based on well-proven methods. If research has yet to support the value of a particular approach, we take care to let you know that. We happen to think you’re much better off sticking with strategies known to work and avoiding those that don’t.
In Chapters 18, 19, and 20, we discuss how to help a child or an adult loved one who has anxiety. If you’re working with a friend or family member, you both may want to read Part 5, and probably more, of this book. Sometimes, friends and family can help those who are also working with a professional and making their own efforts.
Whichever sources, techniques, or strategies you select, overcoming anxiety will be one of the most rewarding challenges that you ever undertake. The endeavor may scare you at first, and the going may start slow and have its ups and downs. But if you stick with it, we believe that you’ll find a way out of the quicksand of anxiety and onto the solid ground of acceptance.
Chapter 2
Examining What Anxiety Is All About
IN THIS CHAPTER
Anxious feelings sprout up for most folks here and there and are completely normal. In certain situations, anxiety is a perfectly understandable reaction. For example, if you’re driving in a snowstorm and your car starts to spin out of control, feeling anxious makes sense. Or, if you are in the middle of a pandemic and the numbers of infections keep rising, well, if you didn’t feel a bit anxious, we’d worry about you. But sometimes anxiety signals something more serious. When anxiety is not tightly connected to realistic concerns and interferes with your ability to function day to day, it’s a good time to worry about your anxiety.
To get a feel for the difference between something as serious as an anxiety disorder and a normal reaction, read the following description and imagine ten minutes in the life of Viktoria.
Viktoria feels restless and shifts her weight from foot to foot. Walking forward a little, she notices a slight tightening in her chest. Her breathing quickens. She feels an odd mixture of excitement and mounting tension. She sits down and does her best to relax, but the anxiety continues to intensify. Her body suddenly jerks forward; she grips the sides of her seat and clenches her teeth to choke back a scream. Her stomach feels like it might come up through her throat. She feels her heart race and her face flush. Tiffany’s emotions run wild. Dizziness, fear, and a rushing sensation overtake her. The feelings all come in waves — one after the other.
You may wonder what’s wrong with poor Viktoria. Maybe she has an anxiety disorder. Or possibly she’s suffering a nervous breakdown. Perhaps she’s going crazy. No, Viktoria actually wanted to feel scared and anxious!
You see, she was at an amusement park. She handed her ticket to the attendant and buckled herself into a roller coaster. After that, you probably understand the rest of her experience. Viktoria doesn’t have a problem with anxiety, she isn’t suffering a nervous breakdown, and she isn’t going crazy. As her story illustrates, the symptoms of anxiety can be ordinary and sometimes even desired reactions to life.
In this chapter, we help you figure out whether you’re suffering from problematic anxiety, everyday anxiety, or something else. We take a close look at all the different forms and symptoms of anxiety. Then, we discuss some of the other emotional disorders that often accompany anxiety.
Anxiety: Help or Hindrance?
Imagine a life with no anxiety at all. How wonderful! You wake up every morning anticipating nothing but pleasant experiences. You fear nothing. The future holds only sweet security and joy.
Think again. With no anxiety, when the guy in the car in front of you slams on the brakes, your response will be slower because your body doesn’t react quickly to danger, and you’ll be more likely to crash. With no worries about the future, your retirement may end up bleak because your lack of worry caused you to not save for the future. The total absence of anxiety may cause you to walk into a work presentation unprepared or not bother studying for an important test.
Anxiety is good for you! It prepares you to take action. It mobilizes your body for emergencies. It warns you about danger. Be glad you have some anxiety. Your anxiety helps you stay out of trouble. See the sidebar “Anxiety and driving while Black” for suggestions