Barry Loser and the birthday billions. Jim Smith

inventor? What for?’ said Bunky, already beginning to look bored. That’s the thing with people like Bunky who’ve got tiny brains - they can’t concentrate on things for more than three sentences.

      ‘Let me fill you in while we take a stroll,’ I said, tucking my book under one arm and my bright pink piggy bank under the other.

      ‘Coo-wee, Bar-ry!’ cried my mum, running out of the house after us. ‘Don’t forget I’ve got your favourite dinner for tonight - fish fingers, chips and peas!’

      I gave my mum a thumbs-up, not wanting to tell her that that hasn’t been my favourite for about three years. ‘Brillikeels!’ I shouted over my shoulder, just to keep her happy.

      ‘Nice piggy bank, Barry!’ laughed Bunky as we strolled up the street. ‘It goes with your girl’s phone!’

      I pulled my phone, which is pink and used to be my mum’s, out of my pocket.

      ‘Why does everyone think pink is for girls?’ I said. ‘Some of the keelest things in the whole wide world are pink!’

      ‘Like what?’ said Bunky.

      ‘Erm . . . bubble gum, strawberry milkshakes . . . the insides of eyelids?’ I said, running out of keel pink things pret-ter-ly quick-er-ly.

      ‘Ooh, the insides of eyelids, they are SOOOO keel!’ laughed Bunky.