She’d wanted to clutch at the fabric of his shirt and pull him toward her, to feel the length of his body imprint against hers as it had when he’d kissed her back in New Zealand. But he’d stepped away slightly—only allowing their lips to fuse, their tongues to duel ever so briefly, before pulling away and wishing her a good night’s rest.
What would he have done, she wondered, if she’d taken him by the hand and pulled him into her suite and closed the door firmly behind them? Would he have taken her to her bed and finally taught her the physical delights of love that she’d only read about?
Her timidity frustrated her. What kind of woman was she, coming to marriage to a man of the world such as Alex with no experience beyond a few unsatisfying furtive fumblings and clumsy kisses? She was eager to learn from Alex, but anxious at the thought of disappointing him.
She cast a sideways glance at Giselle. No doubt she’d never faced such a conundrum. The woman looked as if she’d been born ready to take on the world and all its challenges. She also didn’t look like the kind of woman to whom Loren could confide her insecurities.
She wondered who’d given Giselle the bracelet she wore so proudly. No doubt some man who’d found her particular brand of confidence and self-assurance as sexy as her lush figure and thick, cascading blond hair. She probably had an array of jewelry like it.
As if suddenly aware of her scrutiny, Giselle flicked her a glance.
“Where would you like to start today? Alex said you’re to spare no expense on your trousseau. I imagine you were limited for choices where you lived in New Zealand.”
“A little, yes, but aside from the usual imported labels we have access to our own wonderful designers, too. I just rarely had the necessity to dress up all that much.”
Loren shifted in her seat, a little uncomfortable with the unspoken suggestion that her wardrobe lacked for anything. Had Alex said as much to Giselle? Did he even trust her to choose her own clothing? The answer was obviously no. Why else would he have insisted Giselle come with her today, when she’d already hinted she’d prefer to spend her time with him, not his assistant?
Besides, everything she owned was of excellent quality, even if the outfit she’d chosen today lacked the European flair of Giselle’s tailored trousers and open-necked silk blouse.
“Well, that will all change as Alex’s wife, you know. You’ll need a good range of items that can take you through any occasion. We frequently entertain royalty and overseas celebrities at the resort and Alex likes us to keep a personal touch with those special guests.”
Giselle’s casually possessive use of the words we and us struck Loren as more than accidental. Was she hinting that she had acted at Alex’s side in a role as something more than merely his employee? They’d certainly have made a striking couple—he with his dark good looks and she with her golden beauty. Loren silently chastised herself for the pang of envy she felt. Giselle was Alex’s right-hand person—of course she’d have escorted him on company business.
She took a steadying breath before replying, “Yes, we pride ourselves on that level of care at the station, too. You’d be surprised at the caliber of guests we have entertained there. But that was nothing new to me. As you know, I grew up here and my father was also a prominent member of Sagradan society. I’m well used to moving among royalty and celebrity and I look forward to accompanying Alex in the same regard. Now, with the shops, I think we should start from the skin out, don’t you? I love lingerie shopping.”
“Good choice. I know just the right shop to start at and Alex already has an account there.”
Loren stiffened. There was no avoiding it. Alex kept an account at a lingerie store, which meant he was well accustomed to purchasing women’s lace and finery—from the skin out. Taking a deep breath, Loren reminded herself that there could be an innocent reason for why he kept such an account—perhaps for those special guests that Giselle had already alluded to. Luggage went missing, or was delayed, every day around the world, and things were occasionally lost or damaged in hotel laundries. It would make perfect sense for him to hold an account, Loren rationalized silently.
But in spite of the logic of that explanation, a bitter taste settled in her mouth. Yes, Alex probably used the account for business reasons—but she was a fool if she thought that was the extent of it. Of course he was a man of the world and had no doubt had multiple lovers. Even as a teenager, she’d noticed the way women flocked to him. At the time, she’d dealt with it by trying to scare them all off, but she hadn’t been naive enough to believe that she’d succeeded. And now she had proof. She didn’t have to like it but she was going to have to learn to live with it, one way or another.
Unconsciously she twisted the heavy ruby ring on her finger. She hadn’t expected any words of love from him when he’d given it to her, even though she’d expressed them herself. How could he have learned to love the person she was now, anyway? She’d changed so much from the sometimes petulant and demanding child he remembered. But they had plenty of time for him to learn to love her. They were to be married and she was going to do everything in her power to make it a long and loving marriage.
At the lingerie store Loren was overwhelmed by the multiple arrays of delicate fabrics and colors on offer. She fingered a satin-and-lace nightgown of the sheerest oyster pink. There was a matching wrap that had an exquisitely detailed lace panel in the back. She knew she had to have it.
“Oh, that’s pretty,” Giselle commented over her shoulder. “But I wouldn’t waste too much money on things like that. Alex isn’t keen on night wear.”
Loren stiffened again. And she’d know that snippet of information how? Okay, so maybe the other woman’s earlier comments could have been misconstrued but there was no doubt that Giselle had ceased to be subtle about her allusions to things about which she appeared to have a very personal knowledge.
A needle of pain worked deep into Loren’s chest. So, Alex had indulged in an affair with his beautiful assistant. May indeed still be doing so, for all she knew. Did he plan for it to continue even after their marriage? Loren swallowed against the bile that rose, sudden and foully bitter, in her throat.
Giselle still hovered at her side, her green eyes narrowed slightly as if gauging the result of her comment on Loren. Loren knew she had to say something—anything to get through the next few minutes—but she also knew that she dare not show any sign of weakness. A woman like Giselle would capitalize on that weakness and run with it and there was no way Loren was about to let that happen.
“Hmm,” she murmured calmly, nodding slowly. “Good to know. Thanks, but I think I’ll get it anyway.”
She was rewarded with a sharp look from her companion, puzzlement followed swiftly by acceptance, as if Giselle realized that she’d made her point but had failed to rattle Loren as she’d so obviously intended.
It was a hollow victory.
The rest of the day stretched ahead interminably for Loren. The mere thought of absorbing and defusing more comments from Giselle extinguished every last moment of pleasure she’d anticipated in the day.
Loren suggested they take a break with a coffee at one of the harborside cafés. Once they were settled at their table and had placed their orders she sat back and let the warmth of the late spring sunshine seep into her body. She took a deep, steadying breath. She knew what she had to do.
“Giselle, look, I appreciate that you’ve taken time out of your day to help me with my shopping but I think I’d like a little time to myself and see if I can’t catch up with some old school friends instead. You head back to the resort, I’m sure you have plenty of work you’d rather be doing. I’ll just get a cab back