She walked over to the stove, stirred the cocoa mix into the warm milk. “I’m not really doing much of anything. I think Finley’s finally ready to be turned. I just have more Christmas things at my disposal than you do.”
He shook his head. “No. I think she’s ready because you nudge her along.”
She walked to the island, brusquely picked up the tray of mugs to take to the counter by the stove. But he caught her hand. “Why won’t you let me compliment you?”
“Because I’m not doing anything. It’s the season. The time she’s spending at the store.” She shrugged, wishing he’d let go of her hand so she could scamper away. Wishing he’d hold on to it because it felt so good to have a man touch her again. And not just any man. Someone she liked.
“Well, we’re at the store because of you…so we’re back to you being responsible.”
Humor crinkled the corners of his eyes, pulled his full lips upward. Her heart stuttered a bit, filled with hope. How easy it would be to simply laugh and accept what was happening. Part of her longed to do just that. To relax. To enjoy. No matter what he decided about the store, they’d separate. She didn’t have to fear getting involved in something so deep it would force her to tell her big secret.
But the other part knew that she couldn’t spend another four days with this man without falling head-over-heels in love. She was so needy, so desperate, that every scrap of attention he threw her drew her in like a kitten to a bowl of fresh milk. She had to keep her distance.
Still, she argued with her wiser self. Couldn’t she enjoy this, breathe it in, savor it…so she’d have pleasant memories for the long cold nights ahead?
She didn’t know. If in her desperation she fell in love, those wonderful memories she was creating could actually haunt her.
So she simply shrugged. “I see myself more as having fun with Finley than being responsible for her turnaround.”
“And we are a team.”
She smiled slightly. She’d forgotten they’d formed a team that morning. “You’re right.”
“Seriously, you’re great with kids. You’re going to make a wonderful mother.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. His comment wasn’t out of line. It wasn’t even unusual. But she hadn’t been prepared for it.
She yanked the tray of empty mugs from the center island, effectively pulling her wrist out from underneath his hand and scurried to the stove to grab a ladle to scoop hot cocoa into the mugs.
“Want to get the marshmallows?” she asked, her voice cracking just a bit.
He pulled away from the center island. “Sure. Where are they?”
She pointed. “Second shelf, second cupboard.”
He opened the cabinet door and pulled out the marshmallows.
“Grab a bowl from that cupboard over there,” she said, pointing at a cabinet across the room. “And put about a cupful in the bowl. That way you and Finley can take as many marshmallows as you want.”
He filled the bowl with marshmallows, set it on the tray in the center of the three cups of steaming cocoa. But he didn’t move his hand so she could lift the tray.
So she stepped away again. “You know what?” She walked to the refrigerator and opened the door of the small freezer section on top. “I have some Christmas cookies from a batch I made last weekend.” She retrieved a plastic bag of fruit horn cookies. “Since Finley’s handling the Christmas music, maybe it’s time to indoctrinate her into cookies.”
He laughed. “They don’t look like Christmas cookies.”
But when she brought a plateful of the cookies to the microwave to thaw them, he was in her way again.
She edged past him, first to get a plate to lay them out on, then to open the microwave door. When she set the timer and turned away, once again he was right in front of her.
“My little girl had lost Christmas and you’re helping her find it again.”
“We’re helping her find it again,” she pointed out, reminding him of the team they’d formed.
“It’s more you.” As he said the words, his hands fell to her shoulders and his head descended. She realized his intention about two seconds before his lips met hers, but by then it was too late to pull away.
Sensation exploded inside her. Sweet, wonderful need. Her arms ached to wrap around his shoulders. Her body longed to step into his, feel the total length of him pressed up against her. But fear shadowed every thought, every feeling. What would he say if she told him she couldn’t have kids? How would he react? Would he be so loving then? Or angry as Bryce had been?
She swallowed. She didn’t want to test him.
Still, there was no need. They’d really only just met. In a few days, they’d part. Couldn’t she keep the situation so light that there’d be no worry about falling in love?
Maybe.
Hope bubbled up inside her. They also had a built-in chaperone in Finley. He wouldn’t go too far in front of his daughter. Since he was so persistent and she couldn’t seem to evade him, maybe she should just enjoy this?
It felt incredibly wrong to be wishing a relationship wouldn’t last. Even more wrong to bask in the joy of the knowledge that time and distance would ultimately part them. Right at that moment, with his lips brushing hers and sweet sensation teasing her, she didn’t care. For once in her life she wanted to think of herself.
That resurrected her wiser self. Even in her head the voice she heard was hard, scolding. Your life is not as simple, your problems not as easily solved, as other women’s. You cannot be flip.
Just when she knew he would have deepened the kiss, she pulled away. Sadness bumped into anger and created an emotion so strong, so foreign she couldn’t even name it.
But she did know she was mad at her wiser self.
You are such a sap. Such a scaredy-cat sap. Surely you can kiss a man, be attracted to a man, enjoy a man without thinking forever?
The answer came back quick, sharp. No. You can’t.
She made the mistake of catching his gaze as she stepped back. The confusion in his dark orbs made her swallow hard. But she comforted herself with the knowledge that it was better for both of them if she didn’t explain.
She picked up the tray. “Let’s get this cocoa to Finley before it’s cold.”
TUESDAY MORNING Shannon walked through the employee entrance of Raleigh’s Department Store a nervous wreck. After the kiss debacle, Rory had gone quiet. He’d enjoyed his cocoa and allowed Finley to drink hers, but he hadn’t stayed after. He’d just gone.
Absolutely positive she’d blown her opportunity to spend time with Finley—and that she didn’t need to have any more internal debates about how to handle their attraction because she’d pretty much killed any feelings he might have been having for her—she was more than annoyed with her subconscious. Especially when she’d fallen asleep and had a wonderful dream about them. The three of them. Not just her and Rory married, but her and Rory raising Finley.
She walked through the dark, silent first floor of Raleigh’s. The light coming in from the big front windows reflected off the shiny oversize Christmas ornaments hanging from the ceiling and lit her way to the elevator. Inside, she pressed the button for the third floor and drew in a long, cleansing breath.
Watching