It wasn’t just because she couldn’t wait to share her ideas with him. The unvarnished truth was, she craved his presence. When he rounded a corner or came into a room, he charged the atmosphere with his own brand of electricity. She felt the buzz from the soles of her feet to the last hair on her head.
Until Remi drove her to the Prado Inn after the visit with Dr. Filartigua, she wouldn’t dwell on what it was going to be like to watch him walk away. Of course if it worked out that her company would be doing business with him, it followed she would have further conversations with him by phone or the Internet, but she’d no longer be a guest in his home. She wouldn’t have access to him in the same way. The intimacy they’d shared in the hospital was one of those moments out of time she’d never experience again.
No matter what she had to do, she couldn’t let him know how devastated she would be to get on with her life without him. During the night she’d had to face the painful truth that he wouldn’t suffer any loss to leave her because it wasn’t a question of his being interested in her. How could he be?
One didn’t recover from what he’d been through and still have faith to get involved in another romantic relationship. That wouldn’t be happening to him, let alone with her.
Maybe years down the road his loneliness would cause him to reach out to a local woman for companionship, but he’d never be able to summon the kind of love and passion he’d once felt for the woman who’d betrayed him.
Jillian shouldn’t be feeling heartache over that sobering fact. Unfortunately she did feel it because she was hopelessly in love with Remi.
Having known love before, she recognized all the signs, but this time everything was different. With Kyle there’d been no obstacles, no baggage for either of them. Their happy future lay before them. In Remi’s case she was doomed to love him from a distance without his ever knowing about it.
Like a bird thinking a window was open, she could fly to him but she would crash against the invisible glass protecting what was left of his wounded soul. A shard of glass had already damaged her eye. She couldn’t afford a broken neck, too.
So she would have to love him from a distance and feel joy knowing their chance meeting had resulted in him finding a new way to keep his heritage safe in an uncertain future. Tonight’s tour of the olive groves had infected her with pride in the Goyo name and what it stood for. Any tourists fortunate enough to stop here would go away having been given a figurative as well as literal taste of the glory of Castile’s past.
CHAPTER SIX
REMI NOTICED Dr. Filartigua’s reception room was filled with patients wearing eye patches. Apparently this was the postoperative day for his cataract patients, all of them much older than Jillian. The nurse called them back every five minutes for a quick check.
He’d driven Jillian to Madrid early that morning to make certain she was on time for her appointment. As it turned out they were early. He guided her to the only empty chair and remained standing until the room started to empty.
Looking fresh and incredibly attractive in a peach-colored sundress with its charming little short-sleeved jacket, she drew everyone’s attention. While she waited to know the extent of the damage to her eye, no one would know the depth of her fear. Remi was the one exception.
During the drive from the estate he’d been treated to her heightened animation and conversation. Her remodeling ideas were brilliant, but he could hardly concentrate because he knew all that emotion covered anxieties building since the accident.
When she’d met him outside the main house at eight this morning she’d been carrying her suitcase. His first instinct was to take it from her and put it back in the house, but he didn’t act on it. Jillian had been bracing herself for today and didn’t need anything to upset her.
Without saying a word he’d stowed the suitcase in the trunk of his car. He’d wait until they left the doctor’s office before further discussion about her future took place.
“Senora Gray? Come with me, please.”
The reception area had emptied. It was Jillian’s turn. Whether she wanted him or not, Remi followed her back to the last room. While the nurse helped her to sit on the end of the examining table, he found a chair and sat down.
“Dr. Filartigua will be right in.”
As soon as she went out the door, Jillian darted him a glance. “This is it.” Relief filled his system that her first words hadn’t told him she wanted to be alone. “Did I tell you I couldn’t see anything the last time I put in the drops?”
She’d prepared herself for the worst, but no one was truly ready to hear bad news, least of all Remi. If he hadn’t been on the highway at that moment, he doubted the accident would have happened. Regardless, he had to be strong for her now.
“That was four days ago. A lot of healing has gone on since then.”
He heard her take in a deep breath. “Whatever happens, thank you for seeing me through this.”
“Where else would I be?”
“At work.”
“Not today.” Before he could say more, the door opened and the doctor walked in. “Senora Gray. Has it been a week already?” He nodded to Remi.
“How are you, Doctor?” She sounded casual. Her courage would always humble Remi.
“I’ll know when I’ve removed this and learn what’s going on in there. Lift your head a little higher.” She did his bidding.
Adrenaline drove Remi to his feet. He watched the doctor remove the tape and peel the patch away.
“Oh!” she cried out at once. “I can see!”
Remi’s body quivered in reaction. Those first joyous words were the sweetest he’d ever known.
“That’s fine,” the doctor murmured. “How much can you see?”
“It’s blurry in the center, but the sides are perfect!”
“How blurry?”
“Um, like a piece of wadded-up cellophane.”
The doctor nodded, then got up to turn off the overhead light. “All right,” he said, coming back, “let me take a look inside.” He moved the eye equipment around and told her to fit her chin into the groove for the exam. “Look straight ahead and try not to blink.”
As she cooperated and followed his subsequent directions, Remi held his breath, waiting for a final verdict.
Finally the exam was over. The doctor pulled the machine away and turned on the light.
“Will the blurriness clear up?” she asked in a hopeful voice. Remi wanted the answer to the same question.
Dr. Filartigua walked over to her, cocking his head. “The hazy part of your field of vision will remain permanent.”
Permanent …
A groan rose in Remi’s throat.
“You have a condition called corneal scotoma. In lay terms it’s the blind spot left by the shard that went through to the retina.”
“I see.”
“In time you’ll adjust to the impairment. If the Conde hadn’t acted as quickly as he did, the internal bleeding could have affected the whole eye. Frankly, I didn’t think your peripheral vision would be saved. That means your right eye won’t be as dominant. It’s a great plus.” He patted her shoulder kindly.
“It is,” she whispered. “Thank you for saving what you could, Doctor.”
“You’re welcome, Senora. You only need to wear the patch at night