She began to shake as she fought tears and she hated that through all of this, she’d desperately wanted him to beg. She knew it couldn’t have made any difference, but she’d wanted it all the same. She’d wanted to know that last night had meant as much to him as it had to her.
Obviously, it hadn’t.
Julie dressed in her tightest pair of jeans because being unable to breathe helped to keep her mind off the horrors of her morning. She’d scrubbed the shower, washed her sheets, remade the bed and had given herself a stern talking-to. None of that had worked in the least, so she’d left to go see her sisters, stopping on the way to buy the biggest latte known to man. If not breathing didn’t help, maybe she could drown herself from the inside out.
It was a little after eleven when she pulled up in front of the small house where she’d grown up. The tiny lawn looked lush and green and there were flowering plants everywhere, mostly thanks to Willow’s green thumb.
She glanced at the two cars already parked in front of the house and took in the empty space in the driveway, then got out and walked into the house.
“Hey, it’s me,” she said as she stepped into the bright living room.
Willow sat curled up in the chair in the corner, while Marina had taken a corner of the sofa. They both smiled at her.
“Hi,” Willow said as she stood and hugged her sister. “Are you really going to drink all that coffee? Too much of that will kill you.”
“That’s the plan,” Julie said, doing her best to smile as she spoke so Willow would think she was kidding.
Marina moved in for her hug. “Hi. How are things?”
“Okay. Mom at the clinic?”
“Uh-huh.” Marina sat back on the sofa and patted the cushion next to her. “It’s low-cost vaccination day.”
“Right.” Julie plopped down.
One Saturday morning a month, Dr. Greenberg, Naomi’s boss, opened his offices to the neighborhood and gave low-cost vaccinations to whomever wanted them. It had been their mother’s idea—part of her ongoing quest to save the world. Julie had always thought she should spend a little more time trying to save herself.
“So how are you two?” she asked.
Willow and Marina exchanged a glance. Julie immediately tensed. “What?”
Willow sighed. “We were talking about Dad.”
Great. Because the day hadn’t started off badly enough, Julie thought grimly.
“It’s been a few months,” Marina said. “He should be coming back any time now.”
“How exciting,” Julie muttered and sipped more coffee.
“Jules, no.” Willow flipped her long blond hair off her shoulder and leaned forward. “That’s not fair. You never give him a break.”
“I’m sorry I don’t have enough appreciation for a man who abandons his family over and over again and the mother who lets him.”
Marina’s mouth twisted. “That’s not fair. She loves him.”
Julie felt too raw to deal with the familiar argument. “Don’t say he’s her destiny, I beg you. He blows back into her life and ours, he’s charming and adoring and then he goes away. He moves on to the next thrill and we’re left picking up the pieces.”
Julie’s childhood had been punctuated by her father’s visits and her mother’s subsequent week of tears and feeble attempts to hide her pain. While her sisters were happy to remember the excitement of their father’s visit, Julie always recalled the aftermath. Jack Nelson was like a big electrical storm. A lot of light and noise and an impressive show, but when it was over, someone had to handle the cleanup. That someone had usually been her.
She took another sip of her coffee. Apparently it wasn’t enough to drown her, which meant she would now be completely awake to deal with the humiliation of last night and this morning.
“All men are bastards,” she muttered.
Willow’s blue eyes widened. “Julie, no. Not all guys are like Garrett.”
Right. Her ex-fiancé. Julie groaned. She’d thought he’d been the absolute low point of her romantic life, but when compared with Todd/Ryan, he was almost a nice guy.
“Speaking of slime on two legs,” she said, “I had my date with Todd last night.”
“What?” Marina threw a pillow at Julie. “Are you kidding? Why didn’t you say anything until now?”
“I’ve been here five minutes.”
Willow rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. That’s a walkin announcement and you know it.” She slid to the edge of the chair and grinned. “Okay, tell us everything. Start at the beginning and speak slowly. Don’t leave out anything. Was he fabulous? Was he charming? Could you tell he was rich?”
Under any other circumstances, Julie would have laughed. Willow’s idea of a guy with money was one who would only make her pay for her own meal instead of his as well. She tended to attract the down-and-out type, those between jobs or paychecks or even stints in jail.
“He was …”
On the way over, Julie had tried to come up with a way to make the situation into something she could laugh about instead of a pathetic statement on her luck with men. But she couldn’t remember a single thing she’d planned on saying and she surprised both herself and most likely her sisters by starting to cry.
“Jules?”
They were both beside her in a heartbeat. Marina hugged her from the side and Willow knelt in front of her. Someone took her coffee from her hand, and then she was held so hard, her chest hurt. Or maybe her chest just hurt on its own.
The embrace was familiar and comforting. They’d always been there for each other, only she wasn’t usually the one at the center of the healing.
Julie wiped away her tears and swallowed. “He wasn’t a one-armed humpback,” she said, her voice shaking a little. “He was nice. Charming and sexy and we danced and he made me laugh.”
She’d already decided not to mention that she’d slept with him. No doubt she would confess all later, but right now she couldn’t face admitting she’d been that much of a fool.
She’d been so careful, too. Ever since Garrett, she’d avoided men and sex and entanglements. Based on who Ryan had turned out to be, she should have stuck with being single.
“How did it go wrong?” Willow asked. “Was he secretly a woman?”
That made Julie laugh. She touched her sister’s face. “No, but that would have been interesting. He lied … about everything.”
She told them about him pretending to be Todd, in order to teach her a lesson.
“He assumed I was in it for the money, so his plan was to show me a good time, get me to fall for him and then tell me the truth.”
“What?” Marina stood up and put her hands on his hips. “That’s horrible. You didn’t do it for the money. You did it for Grandma Ruth. You lost. Did you tell him you lost because you always play scissors?”
“I mentioned that.”
Marina settled back beside her. “This is going to turn you off guys forever, isn’t it?”
Julie nodded. “I suspect I’ll have a lengthy recovery.”
“Want me to hurt him for you?” Willow asked.
Julie laughed again. Willow was all of five foot three inches. She was feisty on the inside but on the outside she had a whole lot more in common