When he touched her shoulder, she again jumped, whirling about to face him, her hand pressed to her throat. His expression was dark, his eyes narrowed, and she tried a nervous laugh.
“I’m sorry. You startled me.”
“Obviously. But we’ll talk about that in a minute.”
She took the baby, quickly settled herself on the couch and then looked at Derek. He always left the room when she nursed Grayson, giving her the privacy she needed, but this time he stared right back. Slowly, his gaze never leaving her face, he took the chair opposite her. Heat bloomed inside her. “Derek…”
“No more secrets, Angel.”
Grayson rooted against her, anxious for his meal, and she knew, judging by Derek’s expression, arguing would gain her nothing. She pulled her gaze away from him, deliberately ignoring his very attentive audience, and went about feeding her baby. She felt stiff, unable to relax, so many things racing through her mind.
After a moment, Derek rose from his chair and reseated himself beside her. The soft, worn cushions of the couch slumped with his weight and her hip rolled next to his, bumping into him. He felt warm and hard, his presence overwhelming. Angel was acutely aware of his undivided concentration on her breast. She kept her visual attention firmly placed on Grayson.
Casually, Derek slipped his arm around her shoulders. She had trouble breathing. She moved Grayson to her other breast, closer to Derek, and as he nursed he began to fall back to sleep. He looked precious, and she couldn’t hold back a smile.
“He’s beautiful, Angel.” Derek’s warm breath fanned her temple and she shivered. “You’re beautiful.”
His voice sounded with awe, and as he scooted even closer, seeming to surround her with his heat and scent and power, she felt herself relaxing. This felt right. Derek was doing nothing untoward, only taking part in what was rightfully his. His left arm moved across her abdomen in an embrace, just below the baby, circling both mother and son. He kissed her temple, a light, loving kiss. Slowly, Grayson released her nipple and a drop of milk slid down his chin. With his fingertip, Derek wiped it away.
They neither one moved. She knew Derek was looking at her, studying her, but there was nothing lurid about his scrutiny. He dipped his head and kissed Grayson on his silky crown. In a low, husky whisper, he asked, “Would you like me to burp him and put him back to bed?”
Angel nodded.
As he was lifted, Grayson stretched and groaned and gave a loud belch, making any further efforts unnecessary. Derek grinned as he hefted the small weight to his shoulder and got to his feet. He looked down at Angel. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered. “Don’t move.”
Other than covering her breast and nervously shifting, she obeyed.
It was late, now close to eleven o’clock, but she was far from sleepy. So many emotions were pulling at her—fear and anxiety and anticipation, but also a deep contentment. Derek was everything a father should be, and she couldn’t quite work up the energy to distrust him anymore. It took all she had as she fought herself to keep from falling in love with him. Despising him was out of the question.
Derek stepped out of the baby’s room, softly closing the door behind him. For long moments, he merely stared at Angel across the room. The time of reckoning, she thought.
For the life of her, she couldn’t seem to move. Her heart began racing, her palms grew damp. She saw Derek lock his jaw, saw his shoulders tighten and flex, and she knew, without him saying a single word, he was caught in the same inexplicable flow of emotions as she.
What would happen next, she couldn’t guess, but she was anxious to find out.
And then the phone rang.
Angel gasped. Both wary and disgusted by the interruption, she stared toward the kitchen where the phone was located.
Derek frowned at her. “Do you want me to get that for you?”
“No, I’ll…” She shook her head, wiped her palms across her thighs. And still she sat there, staring at the phone.
Sparing her a curious glance, Derek stalked to the phone and snatched it up on the fifth ring. “Hello?” He kept his gaze on Angel as he spoke and she tried to clear her expression, but she could see he’d already read too much there.
“Hello?” he said a little more forcefully. He looked at the receiver, then gently placed it in the cradle. As he walked back to loom over Angel, she could see the questions in his eyes. “What’s going on, honey?” His tone was soft, menacing.
She shook her head. “I don’t know.”
He waited, not moving away, not saying another word. She recognized his stubborn expression, only now there was more of a threat there, more determination than ever.
“Sometimes I get strange calls.”
She hadn’t meant to make such a bald confession, but it just slipped out. After a deep breath while he raised one eyebrow, encouraging her, she continued. “Sometimes, eight or ten times now, someone has called and just…breathed in the phone. Today I finally heard a voice. He…said things to me.” She lifted her gaze and got caught in his. “He called right before you got here.”
Derek’s eyes darkened, his eyebrows lowered, and suddenly he was crouching there in front of her, his hands holding hers, hard but not really hurting her. It did give her the feeling she couldn’t get away, even if she tried.
His gaze was so intense, so probing, she squirmed. “You thought it might be me,” he accused.
He didn’t sound angry precisely, though she couldn’t pinpoint the dominant emotion in his tone. She straightened her shoulders and frowned right back. “I wondered. I have no enemies that I know of, no reason for threats. You’re the only person who ever seemed to despise me, and I’ve never really understood why.”
There, let him deal with that, she thought and jerked away to walk carefully into the kitchen. She needed something to drink, some warm tea. And she needed to escape his close scrutiny.
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Derek stand, then pace around her tiny living room. He had his hands back in his pockets and his head down in deep thought. She was familiar with that look now, that show of serious introspection. She’d seen it a lot lately, though in the past she couldn’t recall Derek ever doubting himself, ever giving so much thought to anything pertaining to her.
She put water on to boil, then asked, “Would you like some tea?”
“Thank you.”
After righting the fallen chair, she sat at her small kitchen table, waiting for the water to get hot. Moments later she felt Derek’s hands on her shoulders, heavy and warm.
“The problem is,” he whispered, “I’m not making the calls. And I don’t despise you.” His hands slipped up to her throat, caressing, then smoothing her damp hair back behind her ears. “On the contrary, Angel, I want to take care of you.”
Anger caused her eyes to narrow. She wanted to believe him, to understand and accept his help. She twisted to face him. “Why? Why now, when you made it plain months ago how you felt? You deliberately humiliated me in front of my supervisors. You didn’t just break things off, you tried to break me. Why?”
His eyes closed and he turned his head away. “You’re right, of course. I can’t undo the past. I can only have regrets, which don’t amount to a hill of beans. But I’m here now and I’d like to help.”
Since