Sally protested. “She made it sound as if she and Mama and Papa were great friends.”
Alex deftly steered them past another carriage. “Perhaps they were, perhaps they weren’t,” he said.
“How do you know so much about London society?” Diana suddenly demanded.
He gave her a quick look. “I may never have been to London for the Season, but remember I went to Eton with the sons of all these people—and I served on Wellington’s staff with a number of others. I know how they tick.”
His words made Diana even more nervous. If position was what was important to these high-fashion people, then what kind of a reception was she going to get? She knew she was attractive enough, and she knew that her beauty had been responsible for all of the marriage offers she had received at home. But would beauty be enough in a society like this one?
She said as much to her mother that evening, when she went into her bedroom to say good-night.
“Perhaps this venture was a mistake, Mama,” she said. “Perhaps we should have stayed at home. What if no one asks me to dance at any of these balls? I shall be humiliated.”
“That won’t happen,” Mrs. Sherwood said definitely. “When the young men get a look at you, you will have partners. Don’t worry about that, my love.”
“Well…perhaps I will have partners, but will anyone want to marry me? I am only an army officer’s daughter. I have no money, no status…”
“Stop worrying, Diana,” her mother chided. “You are a very beautiful young woman. You will find a husband, I’m certain of it.” She kissed Diana’s cheek. “Now get some sleep. I will see you in the morning.”
Diana gave her mother a shadowy smile and went on back to her own room. She wasn’t sure she was going to like London at all.
Six
The following morning Lady Standish took Sally, Diana and Mrs. Sherwood to visit Lady Jersey, an old friend from childhood with whom she had maintained a correspondence over the years. Lady Jersey was one of the patronesses of Almack’s—the assembly rooms where young ladies went in search of husbands. Not to be admitted to Almack’s was a social blot that was almost insurmountable.
Diana was very nervous about the visit. There was no doubt that Sally would be admitted to Almack’s, but she was not so sure about herself.
Diana had grown up in a small society where she had liked everybody and everybody had liked her. She had had an intense relationship with Alex when she was very young and after he had left she had never paid very close attention to any of the other men who would have liked to marry her. She was still consumed with Alex—only this time her emotion was anger, not love.
Now she was in London, a world where for the first time she sensed the vulnerability of her social status. No one at home had minded that she and her mother had little money. They were part of the Standish family, and that was enough. She had blithely thought that things would be the same in London, but their short drive in the park yesterday had left her in doubt.
So it was with some trepidation that she followed Lady Standish and Sally into the drawing room of Lady Jersey, one of the most influential women in all of London society.
Diana was dressed correctly, in a pretty green muslin dress, with a square-cut neck and empire waistline. Sally was dressed in similar fashion, although her dress was blue. Diana knew she looked all right, she just didn’t feel that way.
Lady Jersey rose to greet Lady Standish and the two women embraced. After they had exchanged a few words, Lady Standish presented Mrs. Sherwood and the two girls.
“My word,” Lady Jersey said, “you have two beauties here, Amelia.”
Lady Standish smiled. “Thank you, Sally,” she said.
“Please, be seated,” Lady Jersey said, gesturing them all to the chairs that were gathered around the marble fireplace in a room that was decorated in the Chinese style.
It was a morning Diana never forgot. In a politely ruthless manner, Lady Jersey ascertained that Mrs. Sherwood was the widow of a mere colonel who had been killed in the Peninsula and that she had no money. She also ascertained that Lady Standish was determined to give Diana a Season along with Sally.
“The two girls are like sisters. Sally wants to have Diana as her companion,” Lady Standish said.
“Does Diana have a dowry at all?” Lady Jersey asked.
Mrs. Sherwood answered, “Unfortunately, no.”
“Hmm.” Lady Jersey frowned.
“Perhaps Alex would give some money for a dowry….” Lady Standish said tentatively.
“I don’t want anything from Alex,” Diana returned quickly. “If I cannot be accepted as myself, then I will just go home.”
Lady Jersey looked at her. “You are an extremely beautiful girl, Miss Sherwood. But I am certain that you know that.”
Diana didn’t reply.
“Please give her a voucher,” Lady Standish said. “Diana is gently if not nobly born. She certainly will not disgrace you, Sally.”
There was a pause, then Lady Jersey shrugged. “Well, why not? I cannot guarantee that you will get an offer of marriage, Miss Sherwood, but one never knows. Men have been known to make fools of themselves over a pretty face before. And being brought up at Standish Court is certainly a recommendation.”
Diana had not exactly been brought up at Standish Court, but no one corrected her.
“So you will give the Sherwoods vouchers to Almack’s, Sally?” Lady Standish asked.
“I could hardly refuse you, Amelia, now could I? We have been friends for too long. Yes, I will give the Sherwoods vouchers for Almack’s.”
Lady Standish was jubilant as they got into the coach outside Lady Jersey’s house. “You probably don’t appreciate how important this is, Diana, but it is tremendously important. Once you have been given the approval of the patronesses of Almack’s, then all of society is open to you.”
“It will be such fun, Diana,” Sally enthused.
“Yes,” Diana said. “I’m sure it will be.” But she wasn’t sure at all anymore.
The ladies stopped at Hookam’s Library to pick up some books to read before they returned to Grosvenor Square. Diana immediately went up to her room, looked around for her dog and remembered that he had been left at home. She went to the chair by the fireplace, sat down and cried.
“Oh, Freddie, how could I have left you at home? I miss you so much.” Diana’s spaniel had been the runt of the litter, and the earl had given him to her when nobody else wanted him.
But everyone had told her that he would be better in the country, that there was no place for him to run free in London, that she would be too busy to even miss him.
But she did miss him. She needed him now, needed his unconditional, adoring love. “No one will ever love me like you do, Freddie,” she sniffled into her handkerchief.
I wish we were all young again. I wish it was like it was before Alex left to go into the army. I was so happy then. Will I ever be happy like that again?
It seemed to her that she had never truly been happy since Alex had left; but now that he was back, she felt even worse, knowing that she could never be that way with him again.
I have to put Alex behind me, she thought. I have to look ahead. Surely there is some man who can make me happy, who will be able to give me the stable home