Gabby could still feel the pain she’d felt when her mother had been discussing her with her boyfriend du jour.
Yes, the kid’s a pain...a drag. I know. I’ll see if I can dump her with my parents again.
That sting would always be with her—the knowledge that she was nothing more than an encumbrance.
‘And people’s opinions do matter.’
Sometimes they could even be life-changing. Social workers had watched her throughout her childhood, assessed her, assessed her grandparents, formed opinions, and Gabby had made damn sure she’d conformed to whatever they wanted.
She had been the child they’d needed her to be: quiet, invisible, polite, grateful... Whatever it took to jump the regulation hurdles and stay with her grandparents after her mother’s death from an overdose. And she was still that person—the kind who shunned the limelight, the one who had never wanted to be anything like the ‘party girl’ her mother had been, the one who just wanted an ordinary life.
‘So I’m sorry, Zander, but I can’t do this. It wouldn’t work.’
Perhaps she was mad, given that he would pay her and she would love the chance to add to her savings. But it wouldn’t be fair to either of them when she knew she couldn’t pull it off.
‘I’m not the type of person who could act as your girlfriend—someone who goes to glittering events on the arm of a multimillionaire. You’ll have to find someone else.’ He opened his mouth and quickly she stood up. ‘Bathroom break,’ she said.
And on the way to the bathroom she’d pay the bill, say goodbye and leave. Because for some daft reason she felt bad—bad that she was refusing the job and bad that she was too chicken to take on a role that most people would kill for. But she knew it was the right decision. Gabby knew her limitations and this was definitely one of them. This role was beyond her abilities.
* * *
Five minutes later Zander watched as Gabby headed back to the table, her stride purposeful, the doubts he’d sensed earlier clearly dispelled. This was a woman on a mission to say farewell and leave as soon as possible. Well, tough.
She halted, looked down and frowned.
‘I ordered dessert,’ he explained. ‘It’s the house special, and according to the staff it’s what you always have.’
The frown deepened. ‘I... How on earth do they remember that?’
Her surprise was genuine, and Zander realised that Gabby really had no idea how memorable she was. He wasn’t sure he could put his finger on it himself. She was undoubtedly pretty, but it went deeper than that. Perhaps it was the depth of expression in her hazel eyes, a sense of vulnerability...some elusive facet that etched her on people’s memory banks.
‘Anyway, I wasn’t planning on staying.’
‘But it would be a shame to waste it,’ he said smoothly. ‘And also I didn’t have a chance to mention an important part of my proposition.’
There was a hesitation and then she sighed and sat down, picking up her spoon with an expression that indicated a determination to speed eat her way through the tiramisu.
‘I didn’t mention the fee.’
Now she looked up. ‘The fee is irrelevant—because I’m not applying for the role.’
‘I understand that, but if you were to agree to this I’m willing to pay you one hundred thousand pounds plus expenses.’
The spoon clattered to the table. ‘Are you nuts?’
‘Nope.’
‘I guarantee you can get someone a lot cheaper than that.’
‘I don’t want someone else. I want you.’
Silence stretched taut as awareness joined the party—an awareness that swirled itself around them as he realised the truth of the words. He did want her. Right now he wanted to lean across the table and kiss her, taste the chocolate on her lips, entwine his fingers in the glossy sheen of chestnut hair, and then he wanted to...
Stop!
‘You are the obvious choice.’ The words sounded forced, his voice hoarse, and he picked up his espresso. ‘You are the woman I kissed. The woman Edna saw.’
Gabby took her time replying, her cheeks still flushed as if she was able to read his mind. ‘I doubt Edna could pick me out in an identity parade.’
‘Maybe not, but I’d rather not risk it. I get that this isn’t your sort of gig, but think what you could do with the money.’
A dreamy look entered her eyes and she caught her bottom lip between her teeth in clear indecision. Then, ‘You’re right. The money would be great. But I can’t accept the job because it wouldn’t be fair. I couldn’t pull it off. It’s not only the limelight factor.’ Pushing her empty bowl away, she leant forward. ‘In real life I wouldn’t go out with you. So how on earth could I fake it? No one will believe it.’
To his surprise, chagrin punched his chest at her words. ‘Why wouldn’t you go out with me?’
‘Does it matter?’
‘Yes. Because if you tell me then I can work out if we can overcome it or not.’
‘For a start, I would never agree to a temporary, fun, strings-free relationship.’
‘Because you’re looking for a happy-ever-after?’ Try as he might he couldn’t keep the wariness from his voice.
She reached out to cover his arm in an instinctive gesture of comfort. ‘I’m sorry. I know your happy-ever-after ended in tragedy, and I understand why you may want a temporary relationship, but I... I still want a shot at it. One day.’
‘So you won’t embark on any relationship unless it’s with Mr Right?’
‘Let’s say I don’t want to embark on a deliberate relationship with someone who is definitely Mr Wrong.’
‘Fair enough. But you wouldn’t be. This would be a fake relationship.’
‘But I would find it hard to maintain a pretence that goes against my character and my beliefs. That’s hardly going to be easy to pull off, especially when I will be so far out of my depth I’ll be in constant danger of drowning. You’re a “catch.” I’m ordinary and my ideal man is ordinary. You aren’t that.’
A dark memory crossed his soul. Again Claudia’s voice echoed in his imagination.
Why can’t you be happy with what we have, Zan? With what you have? Be happy to be ordinary instead of striving after an extraordinary dream that may ruin us.
As she studied his expression Gabby shook her head. ‘I didn’t mean it as an insult. I just want to explain why you aren’t my type.’
He couldn’t let her get away with that. ‘Don’t you remember that kiss?’
Her lips parted and he wondered if she’d have the gall to deny any memory, to say What kiss? But instead, she shook her hair forward slightly to hide her face.
‘Of course I do. But that didn’t mean anything. It was just an anomaly.’
‘Then why don’t we try it again?’
‘Excuse me?’
‘You heard me.’ Zander wasn’t a hundred percent sure where he was going with this but... ‘Why don’t we try it again? Another kiss?’
‘That is a ridiculous idea.’
‘No, it isn’t. Because I don’t think it was an anomaly. On a physical level I think I am your type, and I know you’re mine. And that is exactly why we can pull