“All right,” she muttered as she placed the final bacon strip onto the awaiting plate and then turned to face him. “I might have had a small crush on your best friend. But I was young and foolish, and I can guarantee you that I’ll never be that doe-eyed girl again where Jackson Wade is concerned.”
“Never is a very long time,” he pointed out.
“It’s how it has to be.”
“That being the case, do you think you could handle Jackson’s stepping in for me where Lucas is concerned?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I asked Jackson to help you with Lucas until I get this mess at work straightened out.”
“Justin,” she groaned.
“He knows his way around kids,” her brother hastened to explain.
She snorted. “Jackson Wade? The only thing he knows his way around is horses.”
Her brother shook his head. “Not true. He has a niece, who is only a year or so younger than Lucas, and now two nephews, since Autumn recently gave birth, giving Tucker a son.”
“But no children of his own,” she countered.
“Neither do I, but you asked for my help with Lucas.”
“That’s different. And you are every bit as qualified as Jackson is as far as that goes. You have a nephew, too.”
“Lainie,” he said, sounding frustrated, “you know what I mean. However, the point I’m trying to make is that Jackson is a very devoted uncle who puts a good bit of time in with his niece and nephews. And the truth of the matter is that no man is born a father. That sort of thing comes later, with maturity and time. While Jackson and I aren’t anyone’s fathers yet, we are men. We know what it’s like to be a young boy. We know how their minds think, and what activities they like to participate in. Just give Jackson a chance.”
Her brother might be right, but that didn’t change things. She still reacted like a silly, lovestruck teenager whenever Jackson was near. To the point she felt like she was being disloyal to her husband.
“Lucas will be fine until you can spend time with him. I don’t want or need Jackson’s help. But please thank him for offering to do so the next time you see him. Once Christmas break is over, Lucas will be able to start making friends, which should help him settle into his new life here.”
His worried frown deepened. “It’s your decision. But that won’t change the fact that you will be seeing Jackson from time to time.”
She knew that. She couldn’t ask her brother to keep Jackson from stopping by to see him. Nor would she. She would simply have to do her best to work around the situation whenever it occurred. Like go to her room and lose herself in a good book. Or even slip outside for a long walk.
“I’m an adult,” she told him. “I think I can handle crossing paths with Jackson Wade from time to time.” At least, she prayed she could.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he replied. “Because the last thing I want to do is add to the stress you’re under right now.”
“I appreciate your concern,” she told him as she pulled a carton from the fridge. “But I’m a lot stronger than I look. One or two eggs?”
He looked to the stove. “You don’t have to cook for me.”
“I want to.” It made her feel like she was needed. Without Will in her life, and with her son pushing her away, Lainie felt like she was adrift in a churning sea of loneliness. It was her own fault. After the accident, she’d turned all her focus to Lucas, leaving no time for social interaction with the friends she’d made after she and Will had married. “How many eggs would you like? I just finished frying up the bacon right before you got home.”
“Have you eaten?”
She shook her head. “No. But I’m not very hungry.”
“Lainie, you need to eat,” he insisted.
“Fine,” she said, not having the energy to argue. “I’ll have an egg, too.”
“And Lucas?”
“He’s still asleep. Traveling home yesterday took a lot out of him.” As did his determination to fight this move, to fight her, she thought wearily, her heart aching. She turned back to the stove before her brother noticed the tears filling her eyes. While she had come there, praying her brother might be able to help her son, she didn’t want to add to Justin’s stress at that moment. Not with all he had going on at work. She could weather this storm a little longer on her own, just as she had been for the past eight months or so, ever since her son had started acting out with fits of anger. “How many eggs would you like?” she called back over her shoulder.
“Two, please.”
“Over easy with a dash of pepper?”
“I can’t believe you remember that.”
She remembered a lot of things. Some she wished she didn’t. Like the kiss she had given her brother’s best friend at the Old West Festival Dance, one that had every bit of her heart behind it, and then the rejection that had followed. She remembered her determination to forget him, and then her rush to find the kind of love Jackson had denied her.
Will had been the one to give her that love. While he hadn’t taken Jackson’s place completely, it had been enough for her to find happiness with her husband, even have a son with him. She also remembered arguing with him before driving home from the cocktail party his company had given in his honor for landing one of the biggest contracts their firm had ever closed on. She’d been upset with him for partaking in far too many celebratory toasts. And to think she’d appointed herself his designated driver, to make certain they both got home safely, only to be hit by another driver who hadn’t let someone else take him home. She would never forget the jarring impact of the other car slamming into them, followed by pain and fear as the darkness had engulfed her.
“Lainie?” Her brother’s worried voice brought her back to the present. She shoved the painful memories away and forced a smile as she carried the egg carton over to the counter by the stove. “Toast?” she asked as she cracked an egg over the nonstick frying pan she had set out on the burner next to the cast-iron skillet.
“Sounds good,” Justin said. “But I’m fixing it for us.”
She nodded and watched as her brother crossed the kitchen to the pantry. “When do you have to go back to work?”
“This afternoon,” he replied as he returned with a half-eaten loaf of bread. “After I get a few more hours of sleep.”
“Oh,” she replied, her shoulders sagging. She thought they’d have at least a little time to spend together before his next shift. It looked as if her parents were going to have to come to her and Lucas instead.
Her brother stepped over and wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders. “I really am sorry, sis. I know this isn’t working out the way we planned, but everything’s going to be all right. I promise.”
He had always been a man of his word. But it was a promise she wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep. Her life felt like it had unraveled at its seams to the point no amount of sewing would ever be able to repair it. No matter how many prayers she sent heavenward. All she could do was nod her reply.
“You look great by the way,” he said, his tone more uplifting.
Lainie snorted as her gaze met his. Then she poked a finger into his shirt, nudging him away. “I’d appreciate it if you would take a step or two back, so your nose doesn’t poke my eye out when it starts to grow.”
“I’m not lying,” he said with a chuckle. “Considering all you’ve been dealing with, you look good.”