Everything Sawyer wished he could be.
“I’ve heard that somewhere,” Sawyer said as they finally entered the house. Immediately, they were assaulted with the aromas of Thanksgiving. The smell of sage and roasting turkey wafted out to greet him, as did all of the spices of pumpkin pie, yams and his mother’s famous green bean casserole.
“But what I want to talk about is your retirement. Heard your golf game is actually regressing.”
Henry stopped walking and wagged a finger in his face. “You’ve been talking to your mother. Never listen to her.”
“I heard that,” Patty Wallace called from the kitchen.
Sawyer and his dad exchanged a look before entering the room. As soon as they did, a flurry of activity greeted them in the way of hugs, handshakes and holiday greetings. Someone thrust a mug of spiked cider into his hand and his mother was fussing over him and thanking him for the flowers.
But Sawyer was busy surveying the room. A lot of their guests had already arrived, but not everyone.
“Where’s Riley?” he asked his mom.
His mother patted his cheek. “She should be here soon. She was making that whipped Jell-O you like this morning.”
“But she’s coming, right?”
His mother cocked her head curiously. “Of course. Why would you ask that? She’s spent practically every Thanksgiving here since she was in diapers.”
“I know, it’s just...” He trailed off because he didn’t really want to get into her tweet with his mom.
“If I know Riley, she’ll be flouncing through the door at any minute in a fabulous outfit.”
“Did someone say my name?”
Sawyer twisted his head so fast he almost got whiplash. Just as his mother had suggested, there she stood in a forest-green sweater and polka-dot pants. She’d left her hair down in loose curls and it was bouncing around her as she entered the room carrying a covered dish and a bottle of wine.
Riley was greeted even more enthusiastically than he’d been. He moved to welcome her but was blocked by the entrance of Elle and Cam.
Elle, Carissa and Riley were in the midst of planning Elle’s bridal shower, so it didn’t surprise Sawyer to see the three of them joined at the hip all afternoon. They helped his mother in the kitchen, enjoyed wine in the family room while football blared from the television.
Every time Sawyer made a move to get closer to her, someone would intervene. Or a timer would go off in the kitchen and Riley would race away. Or one of her friends would want to show her something on their phone. Or she’d refill her drink.
The universe was clearly against him.
He thought dinner would help. He and Riley usually sat at the far end of the long dining room table. But this year, there had been a seating adjustment. Instead of sitting next to his oldest friend, he strained to hear her hearty laugh from way at the other end of the room. He couldn’t even enjoy his mother’s turkey, which was always amazing.
The real question was whether Riley was actually avoiding him or if all of the distractions were coincidental. He got that their dance the other night had been a little much. Hell, he was still thinking about it. All the time. But that was no reason to avoid someone you’ve known your whole life.
In any case, he resolved during dessert and more football that he would get to the bottom of her cold shoulder. Just then, opportunity presented itself when Riley went out on the deck. Alone. Sawyer jumped up, grabbed a fresh beer and joined her.
It was cold and the breeze coming off the bay didn’t help matters. His parents had started a fire in the family room and the smell of wood smoke was a comforting and autumnal aroma.
Riley had wrapped one of his mother’s throw blankets around herself. She was standing at the far end of the deck, away from the windows of the family room. Her glass of wine sat on the banister, untouched. She was lost in her thoughts, staring out at the water.
He quietly approached, suddenly unsure what to say. The moonlight played over her face and he longed to reach out and touch her.
“Hey, Ri,” he finally said.
Riley jumped a mile and then spun around. Her wine glass wobbled but luckily didn’t take the plunge over the railing.
She placed a hand over her chest. “Good grief, Sawyer. Where’d you come from?”
“That’s a very esoteric question. How deep do you want to get tonight?”
She smiled at him and he felt it all the way in his gut.
“I never get deep unless I’ve had at least three pieces of pumpkin pie. Right now, I’m only up to two.”
He joined her at the railing and put down his beer bottle. “Are you warm enough?”
She nodded. “I’m fine. I needed some air.”
The two of them had never had any problem keeping a conversation going, yet tonight it felt strained. Awkward.
“Listen, Ri,” he said.
“Hey, Sawyer,” Riley said at the same time.
They laughed. “Go ahead,” she said.
He wanted to ask about their dance. Wanted to know if it had made her feel the same way he’d felt that night. Wanted to know if her feelings about him were starting to change too. Instead, he said, “I saw your column this morning. I didn’t realize you were upset about your parents’ cruise. Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shrugged and continued to look out over the water. “You know how it is. Sometimes we don’t realize how we feel about something until we write it down.”
True. Which was exactly why he needed to stay clear of any kind of writing assignment at the moment. His emotions and feelings were too jumbled. Making sense of them might just scare him.
Riley took a sip of her wine. “I don’t know why I’m even bothered about my parents. They deserve this vacation and they’ll be back next week. I guess... I mean...it’s only that I miss them and...”
He reached for her arm and turned her to face him. “What, Riley?”
“I’m lonely.”
It was such an un-Riley-like statement and the combination of her words and the frightened expression on her face was like a punch to his gut.
“Oh, hon, why? They’re only on vacation for ten days. You just said so yourself.”
Her eyes were looking everywhere but at his. “It’s not just that. It’s stupid, really.”
“We’ve been friends for a million years. You can tell me anything.”
She finally met his gaze. “Friends. Right.” She tightened the blanket around her. “Elle is engaged and Carissa is going to be moving in with Jasper. Plus, she’s also...”
He cocked his head. “She’s what?”
Riley shook her head. “Never mind. It’s nothing. The point is that Elle and Carissa are both making huge changes.”
So that’s what this mood was about. Her two closest friends were taking big steps in their lives and relationships.
“And you wish you were in a relationship, too?” he asked. He held his breath, uncertain of what he wanted to hear her say.
“Yes. No.” She shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s not that.”
He leaned toward her. “What is it?”
“It’s confusing and...and...”
“Ri,” he said,