She moistened her lips and dropped her hands, looking up at him. He’d removed his jacket some time ago, and the sleeves of his white linen shirt were folded up his forearms. He looked grim, tired and appealing. And she was appalled at herself for even noticing that at a time like this. For all she knew, he had a wife tucked away somewhere. Or a fiancée. Or a harem.
He also looked something else, she realized with a start. Beneath his steady, green gaze he was just as panicked as she’d felt. And why not? His life had changed today.
She sat up. “Mr. Cull—Garrett, you do have a choice regarding the children. Laura did say that your brother-in-law had no family on his side, but obviously you’re not the only remaining relative of the children. Your… Mr. Carson is probably on his way back from his business trip, if he hasn’t arrived already. I’m sure between the two of you, you’ll manage to—”
“Have you met him?”
“Well, no, actually. I know of him, of course. You can’t live in Fisher Falls and not know who Caldwell Carson is. He is the mayor, after all. And if not for that, I’ve heard his company built more than half the homes in the state.”
“Yeah, he’s a busy boy, Caldwell is.” He ran his hand around the back of his neck. “And between the two of us, we’ll be working out exactly nothing. The kids are with me. They’ll stay with me.” His lips thinned. “It’s what Elise wanted, right?”
Darby nodded. It was the one thing she could confirm with complete honesty. And now that job done, it was time for her to go. To remove herself from the situation before she brought more harm to innocent people.
Harm. Such an inadequate word for what she’d caused.
“I need to go.” She stood and held out her hand for her keys, but he didn’t drop them into her palm, and unease rippled through her. “My keys?”
They jingled, sounding loud in the silence of the house, when he finally released them into her hand. She pushed them into her pocket and headed for the door. “Good luck with the children.”
“Meaning you think I’ll need it.”
“If one of the triplets wakens during the night, I suggest giving a bottle. I saw some cans of formula in the diaper bag as well as clean bottles. It’s premixed. Just pour it in the bottle. The children will probably take a while to settle into a new—” her throat clamped tight “—a new routine. Just give yourselves plenty of time to, ah, to adjust,” she finished huskily. She didn’t dare look at Garrett. If she did she would start crying.
And if she started crying, she wasn’t sure if she could stop.
The past few months had been so calm. So quiet. She’d started to breathe again. And now this. Elise and Marc had been young, in their prime, with five innocent children completing their home. They hadn’t deserved this.
And she felt guilty for even fearing that her brief period of peace might be threatened as a result.
“You know the kids pretty well.” Garrett’s voice stopped her as she pushed open the screen door. “And they know you.”
Darby nodded. It seemed ridiculous to tell him good-night. There was nothing good about this day. “The children usually spend two or three half-days a week at the center. You’ll probably want to sign them up full-time. But I should warn you that there is a waiting list. You might have better luck looking at some of the other places in town if that’s the route you want to go.”
His expression didn’t change, but she knew without a single doubt that he was cursing inside his head. Her brother, Dane, got that same look when he was inordinately frustrated.
He’d worn that look a lot around Darby before she’d finally found some backbone and left home three months ago.
Her gaze focused on Garrett, and her shoulders sagged. If she had found her backbone and stayed at home, where everyone had insisted she’d belonged—save her great-aunt Georgie, that is—then today’s events would never have occurred. The children sleeping in the bedrooms of this simple, boxy house would be tucked in under the watchful eye of their mother and father—instead of the grimly determined one of their uncle.
“I wouldn’t have to worry about waiting lists if you’d come here to watch the kids.”
She was more tired than she thought, because he made no sense whatsoever. “I already have a job. I work at Smiling Faces, Mr. Cullum.”
“Garrett. You could work here instead. I’ll match your salary.”
“I…no. No, I’m sorry. That’s simply not possible.” She stepped out onto the porch and quickly shut the screen door.
It was insane. She couldn’t even contemplate it. Working at the center was one thing. Being this man’s…nanny, was entirely another.
He followed her. Right over to her car. “Why not? Do you have kids of your own?”
Her stomach tightened. “No.”
“A husband who’d object? A lover?”
“I’m not married.”
His lids lowered. “And…?”
Her cheeks burned. She sidled around him and yanked open the car door. It squealed. “Don’t you have a wife or…someone who can watch the children for you?”
“If I had a wife, I wouldn’t need a nanny.”
“Perhaps she has a demanding career.”
“There is no career. No wife. I’m a harmless, single male. I pay my taxes on time, haven’t broken any laws lately and shower at least once a month whether I need it or not.”
She fumbled her keys from her pocket and sank into the seat, frowning harder.
“Don’t you care about the children?”
“Of course I do!” She drew in a sharp breath. “Which is not the point.” She tried to pull the door closed, but he folded one hand over the top and held it fast. She looked from his hand to his face. But that made her breathless in a way she didn’t dare examine, and she looked back at his hand. “I’d like to leave, Mr. Cullum.”
His fingers slowly straightened, though he didn’t remove his hand completely. “Double your salary.”
She yanked the door closed. The window was still lowered. “Don’t be ridiculous. This isn’t about money.”
“No, it’s about five kids who don’t deserve to wake up tomorrow with no parents.”
His words hit her like a blow to her midsection. Her hand trembled so badly it took her two tries to fit the key in the ignition. The engine sputtered, died.
“Darby, you obviously cared enough about them to see that Elise’s wishes were followed. Just consider the idea, would you?”
Even if she did consider it, what good would it do? The children would become attached to her and she to them. When she had to leave—and she would—it would be just one more loss in their young lives that they neither deserved nor expected.
She’d done what she could when she’d run out onto the street that afternoon. She’d given CPR. She’d applied tourniquets that had done no good. She’d avoided one reporter, sicced a police officer on another and tried not to completely lose her wits when she’d recognized poor Phil as the driver of the other car. She’d known he must have died instantly.
She’d cradled Elise’s head in her arms as the injured woman had urgently whispered about her children. She’d told the police, then Social Services, about Elise’s last words.
There wasn’t anything more that Darby could do.
Nothing