He knew he had to handle this delicately and if when he was done trying to convince her to give him another chance she still wanted him out of her life, he’d leave.
“I don’t think you can just dictate things in our relationship,” he said. “That’s not really fair, is it? Is it because I’m a Bartelli?”
“Slade, you know I don’t hold your family’s reputation against you. You’ve assured me you have no part in that criminal world and I believe you,” she said.
“Thank you for that,” he said. He was always having to prove he wasn’t a thug to most of the people he met. And as much as he was using the details of his life to make himself seem not good enough for her, he knew she’d jump to defend him.
“You don’t have to thank me for that,” she said, reaching out to gently squeeze his forearm. “You’re a good man. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
“I won’t,” he said, taking her hand in his and running his thumb along the back of her knuckles. She shivered delicately.
“Is it because your family doesn’t like me?”
“Seriously, if they ever met you, I’m sure you’d have them eating out of your hand in no time,” she said. “You can be very charming when you want to be.” She pulled her hand away from his. “I see what you’re doing.”
“What am I doing?”
“Trying to point out that there are a lot of good reasons for us to keep dating. But, Slade, you haven’t taken into consideration that we are at our core very different people. I’m single, but there is a part of me that is always hoping that whomever I date will turn into Mr. Right-for-Me. I want the whole shebang—husband, family, big house in the suburbs—and when I’m being honest with myself, I can’t see you as that guy to give them to me,” she said.
He couldn’t argue with that. “I’m not ever having kids, you know that. I don’t want a child of mine to have to grow up like I did in the shadow of my father’s reputation.”
He’d told her that on the first night they’d gone out. They had stayed up until the early hours of morning, talking about life and family and just everything. He had been honest with her because she was Melinda and she was different from the other women he’d hooked up with. For one thing, she was his age and she didn’t seem to be a part of the hook-up culture. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her in the long run. He still didn’t.
And when she framed her objection to their being a couple that way, it was hard for him to keep on with his plan to talk her into not dumping him.
“I get that. I know I’m not a family man,” he said. “But I’m not ready to say goodbye, Melinda.”
She tipped her head to the side, studying him for a long moment before she nodded. “I’m afraid if I don’t end things now, I never will, and when you do walk away, I won’t find the man I need who can give me what you are making me realize I want.”
Her words just made this even harder. She wanted him to stay but to turn into the man she dreamed of. And if there had ever been a man who was made for Melinda, he was the polar opposite of that. He knew the gentlemanly thing to do would be to walk out that door and never see her again. She was too good, too honest for the likes of him. But as much as he wanted to believe he wasn’t a Bartelli through and through, he knew he was.
And he wanted her for himself. All he’d have to do was pretend he’d reconsider, and she’d be his, but he wondered if he could live with himself if he did that. Nonna always said one white lie was all it took to start down the path to the gray area that his father operated in. One where crimes were framed in a way to make it seem as if there were no other option.
He had to find a way to convince her to give him another chance. Because he wasn’t ready to let her go. Not yet.
He knew that he needed to do something to win her back.
He had no regrets about the PDA at the opera the night before. He was never going to be able to keep his hands off her. She called to him like nothing else in his life ever had. It intrigued him and kept him coming back for more.
But she was still nibbling on her lower lip and looking over at him, her blue eyes full of regret, longing and resolve. That didn’t bode well.
“I’m sorry about the press. I have my man on it and he’s going to put a spin on it that’s going to make this all seem like nothing but harmless fun,” he said. “That’s what you want, right?”
She blinked rapidly and shook her head. He tried to keep his mind on her emotional state, but she wore a pair of leggings that hugged her curves, revealing her belly button and midriff. His fingers tingled with the need to reach out and touch her, caress her.
When she was in his arms, none of the other stuff mattered. It didn’t matter that he was the reason the social bloggers and society pages were following her. He was the scandal. Not Melinda. She had spent her entire life doing good deeds in her work as a philanthropist. He’d never met someone who always thought of others before themselves.
He did a lot of good work at Conti Enterprises but in his gut, he knew it was to prove he wasn’t like his father. Somehow, he was pretty damn sure that tinged the good deeds.
Neither did his family name matter once he held her in his arms, nor the fact that they really were very different people. Only the attraction and the passion between them mattered. That and the fact that she liked walking on the wild side with him. He knew she wasn’t used to dating a man like him. Sure, she’d dated wealthy bachelors but most of them had been doctors or lawyers. Not sons of dangerous gangsters.
Once again, he realized how much he hated that part of himself. He was constantly at war with that side of himself and it had cost him opportunities all of his life. He knew that one day it would cost him Melinda Perry as well.
But it wouldn’t be today.
“Slade—”
“Don’t. Don’t do this. Give me a chance before you kick me to the curb,” he said.
“I shouldn’t...but I want to,” she said, biting her lower lip again.
This time he groaned. He reached out and rubbed his thumb along her lower lip. She had the kind of mouth that always inspired wet dreams in him, even when he sat across the table from her at a charity meeting. He couldn’t help it. She was so prim and proper when they were in public.
But in private...
She bit his thumb and then sucked it into her mouth. He put his hand on her waist—God, she was so soft—and then he drew her closer until her body was pressed against his. He ran one finger around the waistband of her leggings and then let his finger slowly move up her spine.
She shivered in his arms and arched her back, thrusting her pelvis against his. He rubbed his erection into the notch between her thighs as she parted her legs to accommodate his hard-on. She put one hand on his shoulder and tipped her head back. Their eyes met and he knew this would solve nothing.
He wanted to believe that a day spent burning up the sheets would make all their problems go away, but he knew it wouldn’t. That this wasn’t going to do anything but distract them for a little while.
And since he’d sort of gotten used to being a distraction for her while her father had been under suspicion of financial wrongdoing, it was a role he fell easily into. He liked it because this was the one time when it didn’t matter that he was the son of a dangerous man—a reputed mobster who had a long list of crimes he was suspected of committing, though there had never been any witnesses to convict him.
Except Slade.
No. He wasn’t going there now. He was holding