“Since when do you know anything about me and what I do, Bree? You walked out of my life nine years ago.”
That was an interesting way to look at how their relationship had ended. Her interpretation of the past was quite different. Bree planted her hands on her hips and prepared for battle. The minute she’d found out she was coming up here, she’d worried this moment might come. The presence of his fiancée would’ve kept the old feelings and hot tempers in check, but stuck alone? It was time to have the fight they’d never really had.
“How long did it take you to notice I was gone? A week? Two weeks?”
Ian clenched his jaw, fighting to hold back words he’d obviously suppressed all this time. “I noticed, Bree. I noticed that the woman I thought loved me just turned her back on me when I was at one of the lowest points in my life.”
Bree scoffed at his cold assessment of her actions. “I didn’t turn my back on you. You’re the one who made this huge lifestyle shift and shut me out. Suddenly, you were all about working at that record company and you had no time for me anymore. You missed my birthday. You stood me up for that dance. You left me sitting alone at a restaurant waiting for you, twice. I did you a favor by easing your guilty conscience. You didn’t have to feel bad about ignoring me if I was already gone.”
“Thanks so much. I’m sure you were only thinking of me when you walked away. I made that huge ‘lifestyle shift’ because I was struggling to find my place in the world, Bree. You never realized how lucky you were. You were a talented photographer and you knew that your work could become a successful career for you. I had to face the ugly truth that my music wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough. Do you know how much it hurt when my advisor told me that?”
Bree snuggled deeper into her fleece jacket, trying to disappear. She had assumed that time was hard on him, but he’d never talked about it. He had been like a steam locomotive that switched onto another track—he’d just kept on going. He’d started working at the record label, dropped out of school and charged ahead at full speed.
“How could I know anything, Ian, when you wouldn’t talk to me about it? You never talked about anything important with me. You never shared your feelings. You saved it all for your songs. And when you lost that, you just clammed up and worked even harder.”
She saw a touch of the anger ease out of his posture. His tense shoulders relaxed and his jaw unclenched. Ian shook his head sadly. “I never intended to shut you out, Bree. I just didn’t know how to talk to you about it. I didn’t know how to handle everything that was happening.”
“I felt like I was losing you, little by little, like sand slipping through my fingers. At first I thought that job at the record label would help, but it just took over your life. You dropped out of school, moved off campus and wouldn’t return my calls. What was left of the Ian I’d loved vanished. You were distracted, dismissive... I felt like I didn’t matter to you anymore.”
Ian ran his hand through the short, dark strands of his hair, the pain of that time in his life suddenly fresh in his eyes again. “Yeah,” he admitted, “I threw myself into that job. But I was trying to find something I could do with my life. My dream of being a musician was dead, but at least working at that label let me keep my connection to the music industry.
“It’s not an easy business, you know. Yeah, I worked long hours, but that’s what they demanded. One of my professors got that gig for me. I couldn’t disappoint him, especially when there was a line of other kids just waiting for me to screw up so they could take my place. So I fought for it. I put every ounce of energy that had once gone into my music into this work instead. And I succeeded. I climbed the ladder. I went out on my own and started my own label at twenty-five.”
“You should be very proud of yourself.”
Ian shrugged. “I guess. It wasn’t an easy road, but I did it. It sure would’ve been a hell of a lot easier with you by my side.”
“I know you think that, but it’s probably not true. I would’ve been a distraction. You never would’ve gotten where you are now with a relationship making demands on your time. Besides,” she said cheerfully, “things worked out for the best, right? You have your company, your fiancée, a baby on the way... Life turned out the way it was meant to.”
Ian narrowed his green gaze and took a step toward her. “Do you honestly believe that? You haven’t regretted the way things ended between us?”
Bree frowned and took a slight step backward, feeling her shoulder blades meet with one of the rustic wooden columns that supported the loft. “Of course I mean it. I mean, breakups happen and they’re sometimes ugly, but you’re happy with your life now, right?”
“If you believe what you read in the magazines, I guess so. I know I should be. I’m marrying one of the sexiest women on Earth. We’re going to have a beautiful baby. My business is better than ever.”
Bree’s eyes focused on the slight downturn of his mouth as he spoke. He wasn’t happy. Not at all. And she hated that. No matter what had happened between them, she wanted to see Ian happy. “So what’s the problem?” she asked.
He took another step toward her, his height towering over her as he came nearer. “The problem?” A bitter chuckle escaped his lips. “Well, first, I’m not in love with Missy. Hell, I’m not even attracted to her. It’s a long, sordid story I won’t bore you with, but the punch line is that she’s selfish and spoiled and doesn’t give a damn about me unless there’s a camera nearby. Second, she’s the worst possible woman I could’ve chosen to start a family with. I’m already interviewing nannies because I know that’s the person who’s going to raise our child.”
Ian leaned in, planting his palm on the polished wooden post over her head. “And to make matters worse, on top of all that, I find myself here. Trapped in a cabin with you. A woman who did love me once. One who would’ve made an excellent wife and mother. One who had the power to set my blood boiling with just a touch.”
Bree drew in a ragged breath as Ian’s hand brushed over her forehead and moved a strand of her hair from her face. Her entire body was tense, her stomach knotting tighter with every word he spoke.
“One who still has the power to make my entire body ache with the memory of making love to her,” he whispered.
His gaze was focused on her lips as he spoke. He ran his fingers along her cheek and Bree’s eyes instantly fluttered closed to savor the touch. The warm heat of his caress against her skin made her pulse pound harder than it had in a very long time. She took a deep breath and forced her eyes back open in time for his thumb to graze gently across her lips.
Was he about to kiss her? It would be wrong. So wrong. Yet, in that moment it was all she could think of. All she wanted.
“And I can’t do a damn thing about it.” He pulled away, taking several steps back as though her touch had nearly burned him.
Bree felt her knees weaken beneath her once he pulled away. It was as if he had yanked the rug out from under her. She righted herself and fidgeted, tugging anxiously at her pullover and tossing her hair over her shoulder.
What the hell was she thinking? She had very nearly melted into the arms of another woman’s fiancée. She was their wedding photographer! Past or no past, that was all kinds of wrong. Natalie would kill her if she knew.
Bree took a deep breath and pulled herself together. Reacting to Ian didn’t help either of them. “I’m sorry to hear your relationship is less than ideal,” she said in her most formal, detached voice.
Ian’s gaze ran over her face for a moment before he spoke. “Yeah. Me, too,” he said, turning on his heel and disappearing into the other room.
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