“I’ll have you know that Burger-rama is real food, and they know my order without me even repeating it.” Cameron crossed his arms over his wide chest and offered her that lady-killer smile.
Laughing, Megan came to her feet. “I rest my case.”
With a quick glance at his watch, Cameron pushed off the counter and sighed. “I better get going. I need to rest before heading out tonight.”
She had no clue what he was working on; she rarely did. He was pretty adamant about keeping his work absent from their conversations. He’d tell the occasional funny drunken-fight story, but when it came to a serious investigative case, he was pretty tight-lipped.
Whatever he was working on must be major, seeing as how he’d been heading out to work at midnight several nights a week—not something a chief normally did. The new lines between his brows and the dark circles beneath his eyes spoke volumes about his new schedule.
“You’re working yourself to death. You know that, right? Between all the crazy hours and the junk food. You can’t be getting enough sleep.”
One corner of his mouth tipped up in a smile. That cocky, charming grin always had the same heart-gripping impact. How many women had been mesmerized by that beautiful, sexy smile?
“I’ll be fine,” he assured her, pulling her into a friendly hug. “This case should wrap up soon, and I’ll be back to somewhat normal hours, complete with sleep. The junk food remains, though.”
Two out of three wasn’t too bad. Besides, normal for him meant ten-hour days instead of twelve or fourteen. Reminding him of his father’s bypass surgery last year would do no good. The St. John men were a stubborn bunch. She should know; she’d been the family sidekick since grade school.
Megan kept her mouth shut and wrapped her arms around his waist as she slowly inhaled his familiar scent. Closing her eyes, she wished for so much. She wished Cam would wake up and see how deeply she cared for him, she wished her brother would straighten his life out and she wished she knew what to do about the out-of-town job offer she’d just received.
None of those things were going to happen right now, so she held on tight and enjoyed the moment of being enveloped by the man she’d loved for years. If friendship was all they were destined for, then she’d treasure what she had and not dwell on the unattainable.
Cameron eased back, resting his firm hands on her shoulders. “You okay? You seem tense.”
Really? Because she’d pretty much melted into his embrace. The cop in him always managed to pick up every little detail around him, yet the man in him was totally oblivious to the vibes she sent out. It would be so much easier if he just magically knew how she felt and took that giant first step so she didn’t have to. The passive-aggressive thing was never her style, but in this instance she really wished he’d just read her mind.
“I’m fine,” she assured him, offering a grin. “Just a lot on my mind lately.”
Wasn’t that an understatement?
His dark brows drew together as those signature bright blue St. John eyes studied her. “What can I do to help?”
Oh, if he only knew. One day.
“Nothing.” She reached up, patted his stubbled jaw and stepped back to avoid further temptation. “Go rest so you can head out and save Stonerock from all the bad guys.”
The muscle in his jaw jumped. “I’m working on it.”
“I hope you’re careful,” she added, always worried she’d get a phone call from one of his brothers or his parents telling her the worst. Because Cameron would put his life on the line for anybody. He just wouldn’t put his heart on the line.
He laughed. “Yes, Mom, I’m careful.”
Swatting him on his hard pec, Megan narrowed her eyes. “I have to ask. You make me worry.”
“Nothing to worry about,” he assured her, with a friendly kiss on her forehead. “I’m good at my job.”
“You’re so humble, too.”
With a shrug, he pulled his keys from his pocket. “Eli and Nora’s baby is being christened tomorrow. You’re still planning on coming, right?”
“Are you going to make it?”
Cameron nodded and headed toward the back door. He always came and went via her back door. He never knocked, just used a key when it was locked and made himself at home.
“I’ll make it,” he told her, his hand resting on the antique knob. “I may even have time to run home and nap and shower for the occasion.”
“How about I pick you up?” she offered.
He lived in her neighborhood, and they tended to ride together when they went anywhere. They were pretty much like an old married couple, you know, just without the sex and shared living quarters.
“Be there at nine.” His finger tapped on the doorknob. “Lock up behind me.”
Rolling her eyes, she gave him a mock salute as he left. The worry was definitely a two-way street.
Now that she was alone with her thoughts, she had to face the unknowns that circled around in her mind. This job offer had come out of nowhere.
Was it a sign that she needed to move on? She’d been in Stonerock nearly her entire life; she was still single and had nothing holding her back.
Except Cameron.
After scrubbing her sink and table, Megan was still no closer to making a decision. She loved being a therapist at the local counseling center; she loved her patients and truly felt as if she was making an impact in their lives.
The new job would be in Memphis, nearly two hours away. The new facility would offer her a chance at helping more people, even taking charity cases, which would allow her to comfort and guide people she never could’ve reached otherwise.
How could she say no?
As she sank onto the chair at her kitchen table, she thought of her brother. He was an adult, but he’d never been able to take care of himself. The questionable decisions he made kept snowballing into more bad decisions—each one seemingly worse than the last. He always counted on her as a crutch to fall back on. What would happen to him if she left? Would he finally man up and take control of his life? See just how dependent he’d become and actually want to change?
More to the point: What would happen with Cameron? Before she made the decision, she would have to seriously consider gathering up the courage to tell him the secret she kept in the pit of her soul.
This job was a catalyst for pushing her in that direction. She needed to move on one way or another...though she’d rather move on with him. Either way, she’d know if years of wanting and dreaming had been for naught.
She’d wanted a relationship with him since they’d graduated high school, but the timing to reveal her feelings had never been right. Between her parents’ deaths, his deployment and Megan always putting her life on hold to help her brother, she just had never found an opening.
Cameron was the only solid foundation in her life. What happened if she told him how much she loved him and it ruined their friendship? Could she take that risk?
He’d told her he’d never consider being in a committed relationship. He’d shared the story of the night his partner had died and how he’d had to witness the widow’s complete breakdown. Cam had told her he’d never put anyone through that.
Still, she had to let him know how she felt. She couldn’t go through life playing the what-if game forever, and he deserved to know. By not giving him a chance to make a decision, she could be missing out on the best thing that had ever happened to her.
Megan folded her arms across the table and rested her head on them. She really had no choice...not