“That’s a cauldron,” Dylan said, in the knowledgeable tone he used to let his little brother know he was still in charge. He didn’t really feel that way anymore. Nothing was the way it used to be. Their parents were gone. Their uncle, who used to be so cool, now made their lives miserable. And worst of all, Dylan didn’t seem to know things anymore. Before the accident, he’d started to feel he was beginning to understand how being with people worked. Then his parents had died, and now his life was like a big black hole. Unless he was working on one of his experiments, or making Sheamus cry.
His brother deserved to cry. He was afraid of everything. And it wasn’t a world for sissies.
“What’s a cauldron?” Sheamus whispered. He put an arm around Arnold, their uncle’s apricot mastiff mix, who went everywhere with them. They weren’t supposed to be in the neighbor’s yard, but Dylan didn’t care about that. His uncle was always mad at him. Well, not mad exactly, but he acted as if he didn’t understand him. And that was dumb. Adults were supposed to understand kids.
Dylan made a big circle with his arms. “One of those pots witches use to make potions and things.”
Sheamus’s blue eyes were huge. “You mean like on the card Stella gave us? With the bugs and bat wings going into the witch’s pot?”
“Yeah. Just like that. Only this lady’s probably got kid parts in there, too.”
Sheamus’s eyes got wider. “What kids?”
“I don’t know. Kids she kidnapped and locked in her house.”
Sheamus stood up, getting panicky. Arnold got up with him. Dylan’s plan was starting to work. He felt a twinge of guilt, but it was easy to get past that. Sheamus had blond hair like their mom and his eyes were the same color hers had been. It was easy to hate him.
He yanked his brother back down again. Arnold stood poised for action. “It’s all right. She won’t want you. Only brave kids go into the pot, because the potions are to make big things happen. Like explosions and lightning. It doesn’t work with fraidy kids.”
Sheamus’s eyes brimmed with tears and his lip quivered. Dylan knew his brother was curious to know what the woman was doing, but too afraid to find out. He pointed to the big bush at the edge of the driveway, very near the garage. “Let’s go get a closer look.”
“No!” Sheamus tried to grab his arm, but Dylan shook him off. He waited until the woman leaned the stirring stick against the pot and turned to get a glass of something red from a shelf behind her. Then he covered the distance in a military crouch.
Unfortunately, at the same moment a big orange cat leaped onto the shelf near the woman’s drink. Uncle Nate said mastiffs were usually lazy, but Arnold was half Labrador retriever, and Labs never missed an opportunity to cause trouble.
Arnold leaped for the cat with an excited bark. The woman fell back against the shelf and screamed. The red drink flew, the cat screeched and the sound of tumbling lumber filled the air as woman and shelf crumpled together. Dylan heard Sheamus run for the house, yelling for their uncle.
He should have run, too, but he was stunned by how much destruction that one leap had caused. Before he could plot his escape, he was hauled to his feet by a hand that wasn’t much bigger than his, but very strong. The hat had come off the woman’s head and the red stuff was running down her face. She had brown eyes that looked mad.
Great. He was probably facing another night without his Game Boy when his uncle heard about this.
* * *
NATE RALEIGH PACKED the dishwasher and thought back to what Saturday mornings used to be like, back in the Portland Pearl District. Actually, he’d slept through them, because Friday nights had been all about dating and the Brody Theater, dinner at the Park Kitchen and friends going back with him to his condo looking over the river.
Saturdays hadn’t begun for him until lunch at the Dovetail Bakery with a client who had some payroll or accounting issue that couldn’t wait until Monday. He’d prided himself on being able to resolve them, or if not, he’d mull over possible solutions with his brother. Ben always had an answer.
God, Nate missed him. And not just as a partner at Raleigh and Raleigh Accounting Services. Mostly he wished his brother was here to tell him how to deal with his boys....
Ben had been two years older than Nate and the kind of kid, and then man, who seemed to know instinctively what to do about everything. Of course, it had been more than instinct. In school, he’d studied all the time and done extra work because he found everything about accounting and finance exciting.
As an adult, his gift in the field had taken their small tax-return business in a strip mall to the fourth floor of an elegant downtown Portland office complex, where they offered a multitude of accounting and estate planning services. They eventually opened an Astoria office on the Columbia River and two more down the coast.
Pain stabbed at Nate. As an anniversary gift, he’d given Ben and Sherrie the charter fishing excursion that had ultimately taken their lives. Guilt, combined with a terrible loneliness and a dark anger he couldn’t shake, were braided into a sort of barbed-wire band around his chest.
He had to fight his way through every day. He usually managed to put the pain and loneliness aside, but the anger was always there. That was the hardest to deal with. He’d been the cheerful Raleigh, the charmer, the one who saw the upside of life.
Now he was mad all the time. He understood the source of his anger, but seemed powerless to overcome it. He was mad at Ben for dying, mad at himself for having given him a gift that placed him in harm’s way and not knowing how to cope with that, and mad at the boys because they reminded him of Ben and him all those years ago.
He was able to live day to day without yelling at everyone, but suppressing the inclination was exhausting. He didn’t know what to do about it, so he just kept going—sad, mad and, much as he hated to admit it, a little lost.
Nate added soap to the dishwasher, let the door close with a slam, and set the dial. “Suck it up, buttercup,” he told himself.
Saturday nights, he recalled, continuing to torture himself, had pretty much been the same as Fridays, but Sundays had been about football at Fernhill Park, then pizza and beer at Mississippi Pizza.
Now, Stella Bristol prepared most of their meals. She was Hunter Bristol’s mother. Hunter had helped run the Astoria office of Raleigh and Raleigh with Ben before Nate had given Ben and Sherrie the charter boat trip to celebrate their thirteenth wedding anniversary. They’d met aboard a similar boat fifteen years previously. Nate had volunteered to stay with the boys so that his brother and sister-in-law could enjoy a romantic dinner and watch the sunrise as they’d done the night they met.
Instead, a sudden squall and the captain’s belated decision to return to port had resulted in the loss of the boat and everyone aboard. One of the witnesses to the sinking had said that Ben dived under the boat over and over, presumably in search of Sherrie, and finally just didn’t come up again.
Nate stayed with the boys in their home and took his brother’s place in the Astoria office. And the life he’d known was gone forever.
That was all right. He knew his nephews had lost far more than he had, but the life he’d led had not prepared him for the life he’d inherited.
The accident happened to coincide with Stella’s recovery from hip replacement surgery, and a desire to find useful work. She had no nanny experience, but she’d kept house and raised children. Nate figured that qualified her.
He just wished he felt more comfortable in his position as stand-in father. He’d gotten along so well with the boys when he’d simply been their uncle. Now that he had to make rules, they didn’t like him. Stella reminded him over and over that parenthood wasn’t a popularity contest, but he could see grief in their young eyes and hated the knowledge that he seemed to exaggerate it rather than relieve it. He strove