The son of a bitch wouldn’t feel as much pain as he had caused. So killing him wouldn’t be satisfying at all—not until Thad Kendall had suffered. All Ed had to do was watch and figure out what would cause Thad the most pain.
Chapter Three
This time Caroline opened the door to his knock. And no one was surprised, like when Mark had let Thad into their house. Then she had been on the phone with Tammy when the doorbell rang, so her son had beaten her to the door and totally disregarded the rule of not opening it unless he knew who was at it.
This time she’d known Thad was coming because she had invited him. But still her heart started beating faster at the sight of him. Fluffy snowflakes melted in his dark hair and clung to his high cheekbones and strong jaw. She stepped back to let him inside, but he hesitated, glancing over his shoulder.
She followed his gaze to the street. Was he waiting for someone? A lawyer? That was why she’d called him—because she hadn’t wanted to force him to fight for his parental rights. With the full resources of the Kendall money and power, he couldn’t lose.
But she could potentially lose her son. Her salary barely stretched to cover her mortgage, Mark’s day care and their living expenses. She couldn’t afford a lawyer, too.
Thad finally stepped inside and closed the door, shutting out the snow and the cold and whoever he might have been looking for.
“Is Mark here?” he asked, glancing around the inside of the house like he had the outside.
Was that a habit he’d picked up from traveling to war-torn countries? He’d probably had to learn to be vigilant in order to stay alive. A lot of reporters hadn’t made it back from the places Thad had been.
Caroline drew in a shaky breath. “Mark is upstairs.”
“So you’re not worried about him hearing us fight?” he asked with a glance toward the open stairwell.
“I’m not going to fight you.”
“What does that mean?” he asked. His eyes, which were the same sapphire-blue of his son’s, widened in surprise. “You’re going to let me see him?”
Her stomach tightened with nerves, but she couldn’t deny her son the chance to get to know his father. Given Thad’s lifestyle, this could possibly be the only chance the boy would ever get. Too bad he would probably be too young to remember him. “If that’s what you really want …”
“He’s my son. Of course I want to see him,” he replied, as if offended by her suggestion. “I’ve already missed so much.”
“And you’ll miss even more when you leave again.”
He ducked his chin as if she’d taken a swing at him. But he didn’t deny that he would leave. “I have a job to do.”
“You don’t have to leave St. Louis to be a reporter,” she pointed out. “You could get a job at any station or paper in the city.”
“Not reporting the story,” he said. “In St. Louis, I would be the story.”
“Because of the shooting.”
Everyone else had been so surprised that Thad Kendall had killed a man. Everyone but Caroline. Beneath his charm and devastating grin, there was a ruthlessness that she had glimpsed the day he’d left her without even a backward glance.
He had a single-minded intensity about his job that seemed to be about more than achieving success or fame. She suspected there was much more to Thad Kendall than anyone realized.
And he was her son’s father. She swallowed a sigh.
“You’re not looking at me like everyone else has been,” he said. He was actually the one looking at her, his gaze intent on her face.
“How’s that?” She had barely let herself look at him at all, as she was determined to not let her foolish heart rule her head once again. She would not fall for Thad Kendall, no matter how damn handsome he was.
“All my family,” he said, “even members of the press keep looking at me like I’m going to fall apart because I pulled the trigger and killed a man.”
“I think you’ve had to do a lot harder things than that in your life,” she admitted.
He jerked his head in a grim nod. Then he stepped closer and skimmed his fingers along her jaw. “Leaving you was one of the hardest.”
She sucked in a breath as her traitorous heart slammed against her ribs. “Don’t.” She moved back so that his hand fell away from her face. “Just don’t …”
“It’s true.”
“You left and never looked back,” she reminded him. “I’m not looking back, either. I’m looking ahead to when you leave again and I have to explain to Mark.”
“I’ll explain to Mark that it’s my job to go to other countries.”
“Will you want to make a clean break with him, too?” She’d worried about that for the past few sleepless nights since her son had opened the door to his father. Mark had had so many questions about the stranger who’d come to their house, and he had deserved to know the truth.
“No. I’ll stay in contact with him,” he promised as he stepped closer again. His voice dropped to an intimate murmur. “And with you …”
His lips curved into that devastating grin. He was arrogant—he couldn’t look like he did and not realize how women wanted him. And he was a Kendall, used to getting what he wanted, and apparently since he was back in St. Louis, he wanted her.
With an effort she steadied her racing pulse and shook her head. “I don’t want a relationship with you.”
His grin faded. “Caroline …”
“Truthfully, I don’t want you to have a relationship with Mark,” she said, keeping her voice low so that her son wouldn’t overhear. “I’m afraid you’re going to break his heart like you did mine.”
He groaned. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know,” she admitted. “And you won’t mean to hurt him, either. But you will.”
“So what do you want me to do?” he asked. “Pretend that I never saw him? That I don’t know I have a son? Do you want me to just walk away?”
That was the problem. She didn’t want him to walk away. Ever. But he would. “It’s what you do best.”
“Damn it! You’re not being fair!”
“No. I’m not,” she readily agreed. But she needed to keep reminding herself that she couldn’t fall for him again. She wouldn’t be able to help heal her son’s broken heart if she was dealing with her own.
“I didn’t know how much I hurt you,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head, refusing his apology. “I’m over you,” she said, trying to convince them both of that. “And I intend to stay over you.”
“If you’re so over me, why haven’t you moved on?” he challenged her. “Why aren’t you married or involved with someone else?”
“How—how do you know that I’m not involved with someone?” she asked.
“Since finding out about Mark, I checked with some of my sources.…”
Damn Tammy. “I’m focused on my son right now,” she said, “not dating.”
“I can’t believe men haven’t been beating down your door to take you out,” he said.
She laughed at the outrageous compliment, refusing to be charmed again. Mark was three and a half, but