‘You can’t practise medicine based on emotion.’
‘I’m not talking about emotion. I’m talking about instinct. I tell you, Josh, I know when a child isn’t well. Don’t ask me how.’ She held up her hand to silence him. ‘I just know. And I was right with the twins. But apparently that didn’t matter to Mr Tick-All-The-Boxes Consultant. He has to play things by the book and if the book is wrong, tough. Which is a lame way to practise medicine.’
‘And no doubt you told him that, too?’
‘Of course. By the time he’d had all his evidence, he would have had two dead bodies. And he was angry with me because I saved their lives. He could have had a lawsuit on his hands, but did he thank me?’ The injustice of it was like a sharp knife in her side, digging, twisting. ‘Haven’t you ever used instinct when you treat a patient?’
‘If by instinct you mean clinical judgement, then, yes, of course, but, Tasha—’
‘Wait a minute.’ Tasha interrupted him, her brain working and her eyes wide. ‘That little girl—’
‘What little girl?’
‘The one waiting to be seen in the main area. I heard the mother say that hay fever was making her asthma worse, but her eyelids were swollen and her face was puffy. I thought at the time that something wasn’t right—just didn’t seem like allergy to me—and—’
‘That little girl is not your patient, Tasha.’
‘She was wheezing.’
‘As she would if she had asthma.’
‘As she would if she had left-sided venous congestion. I knew there was something about her that bothered me.’ Tasha picked up his phone and thrust it at him. ‘Call the doctor in charge of her, Josh. Tell her to do the tests. Maybe she will anyway, but maybe she won’t. In my opinion, that child has an underlying heart condition. Undiagnosed congenital anomaly? She needs an ECG and an echo.’
‘Tasha—’
‘Just do it, Josh. Please. If I’m wrong, I’ll give up and get a job in a garden centre.’
With a sigh, Josh picked up his phone and called the doctor responsible for seeing the child.
While he talked, Tasha stood staring out of the window, wishing she didn’t always get so upset about everything. Why couldn’t she be emotionally detached, like so many of her colleagues? Why couldn’t she just switch off and do the job?
‘She’s going to do a full examination, although she thinks it’s asthma and allergy combined. We’ll see. And now you need to relax.’ Josh’s voice was soft. ‘You’re in a state, Tasha.’
‘I’m fine.’ It was a lie. She’d desperately wanted a hug but was afraid that if someone touched her she’d start crying and never stop. ‘But I do find myself with a lot of free time on my hands. I thought …’ She hesitated, hating having to crawl to her brother. ‘You’re important. Can you pull a few strings here? Get me a job? The paediatric department has a good reputation.’
‘Tasha—’
‘Paediatrics is my life. My career. I’m good, Josh. I’m good at what I do.’
‘I’m not debating that, but—’
‘Yes, you are. You’re worrying I’ll mess things up for you here.’
‘That isn’t true.’ Josh stood up and walked over to her. ‘Calm down, will you? You’re totally stressed out. Maybe what you need is a break from hospitals for a while.’
‘What I need is a job. I love working with kids. I love being a doctor. And then there’s the practical side. I was living in a hospital flat so now I’m homeless as well as jobless.’
Tasha felt as though she had an enormous mountain to climb. ‘Resigning seemed like the only option at the time. Now I realise why more people don’t resign on principle. It’s too expensive.’
‘I can’t pull strings to get you a job at the hospital, Tasha. Not at the moment. We’ve spent a fortune opening a new paediatric burns unit. There’s a head-count freeze.’
‘Oh.’ Her stomach swooped and fell as another door slammed shut in her face. ‘No worries. I’ll sort something out.’ She tried to subdue the niggling worry that her last consultant wouldn’t give her a decent reference. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you. I shouldn’t have just shown up here.’ The list of things she shouldn’t have done was growing.
‘I’m glad you did. It’s been too long since I saw you. All you’ve done for the past three years is work. Since things ended with Hugo, in fact.’
Hugo? Shrinking, Tasha wondered why her brother had chosen that particular moment to bring up her disastrous love life. Could the day get any worse? ‘I love my work.’ Why was he looking at her like that? ‘What’s wrong with loving my work?’
‘No need to get defensive. Maybe it’s time to take a break. Rediscover a social life.’
‘Social life? What’s that?’
‘It’s part of work-life balance. You were going to get married once.’
The reminder scraped like sandpaper over sensitive skin. ‘A moment of madness.’ Tasha spoke through her teeth. ‘Do you mind if we don’t talk about it? Just thinking about Hugo makes me want to put my fist through something and at the moment I can’t afford to pay for the damage. Anyway, you’re a fine one to talk. You’re a total workaholic.’ But he’d spent the night with a woman.
Tasha wondered if he’d confide in her, but Josh was flicking through some papers on his desk.
‘How flexible are you?’
‘I can touch my toes and do a back flip.’ Her joke earned her an ironic glance.
‘The job,’ he drawled. ‘How would you feel about a break from paediatrics?’
‘I love paediatrics, but …’ But she was desperate. She needed something. Not just for the money but to stop herself thinking and going slowly mad. She needed to be active. ‘What do you have in mind?’
‘I happen to know a man in desperate need of twenty-four-hour nursing care for the next month or so. He’s asked me to sort something out for him.’
Tasha instinctively recoiled. ‘You want me to give bed baths to some dirty old man who’s going to pinch my bottom?’ She frowned at the laughter in her brother’s eyes. ‘What’s so funny about that? You have a sick sense of humour.’
‘What if I tell you the guy in question happens to be seriously rich.’
‘Who cares?’ Tasha thrust her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, wondering what Josh was finding so funny. Her brother was clearly enjoying a joke at her expense and she felt a flash of irritation that he could laugh when she was in such a mess. ‘What’s the relevance of his financial status? You think I’ll nurse him, he’ll fall in love and marry me, then I’ll kill him off and inherit his millions? When you suggested a job change, I didn’t realise you were talking about a sugar daddy.’
‘He’s too young to be your sugar daddy.’
‘And I’m not interested in marriage. I’m a cold-hearted career-woman, remember? I’m dedicating my life to my patients. So far my longest and most successful relationship has been with my stethoscope.’
‘This guy isn’t interested in marriage either, so you’ll make a good pair. Strictly speaking, he should be in hospital for at least another week but he’s creating hell so they’re