“So do I. Now…what is bothering you? I know it is more than Edward. You barely mentioned Sam at all today. That’s not like you.”
Julia sighed, hoping the others hadn’t noticed. “I was going to tell you. I just didn’t know how.”
“Tell me what? Did he do something to upset you?”
“It’s more what he didn’t do.”
“I don’t understand.”
Julia motioned to a chair. “Perhaps we should sit. This may take a while.”
Sally did so and as Julia spilled the entire story she listened most sympathetically. “Oh, Julia. I am so sorry. I didn’t know he held abolitionist views.”
“Neither did I, until recently. What do you think?”
“About Sam or slavery?”
“Both.”
Sally shrugged. “Slavery is legal but…”
“But what?”
“My father says there are some who abuse the law. That they treat their slaves as though they were subhuman. That’s not right.”
“I don’t think so either and I can understand why Samuel would be angry about that.”
“But?”
“But look at what has happened in our city. This has nothing to do with slaves. To say he will not fight because the Confederacy supports slavery sounds like an excuse to me. There is an army outside with guns. They are telling us what music we can and cannot sing, how we may dress. They opened fire on my family right in the middle of Pratt Street!”
“I know,” Sally said. “That’s why Stephen enlisted.” She paused. “And you’re angry with Sam because he didn’t.”
Julia looked at her. There was no need to reply to the last statement. Sally already knew her thoughts.
“You still have feelings for him, don’t you?”
Julia sighed heavily. To deny it would be a lie but to acknowledge them was to deny her brother’s honor.
“I can understand your dilemma,” Sally said.
“You can?”
“Certainly. If my fiancé refused to defend our city I would feel the same.”
She saw doubt in Sally’s eyes and she knew she was keeping something back. “But?” Julia encouraged.
Sally shrugged. “Perhaps it isn’t cowardice.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Sam is a man of conviction. Although it may not be the same conviction you share. It takes courage to stand up for what you believe when no one else believes the same.”
Julia sighed once more. “He came to the prayer meeting today.”
“What prayer meeting?”
“The one at the church.”
Sally looked embarrassed. “I forgot about that. Father must have as well. He said yesterday that we would attend.”
“It was only my family, Reverend Perry and Samuel.”
“Did he sit with you?”
Julia shook her head. She explained what happened after the service had ended.
Sally’s eyes widened. “He said he would honor your wishes?”
“Yes.”
“I see.”
Finality hit Julia with a thud. The engagement had been severed. Samuel Ward would not be her husband.
“I should have been more open with the others,” she said. “I should have told them everything.”
“Well,” Sally said slowly, “there is no need for gossip, especially from Rebekah.” She squeezed Julia’s hand. “Things will sort out in time.”
She knew Sally was right.
But how much time would have to pass before Julia knew happiness again?
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