Or maybe it was merely an aversion to responsibility, and Arabella presented the easiest solution for the moment. No need to romanticize that, was there? She was good at a task he didn’t accept as his own yet. That’s what it was. He was simply stalling the inevitable.
Rather than whispering across the room and risk disturbing Ana Maria, Bella came over to Gabriel’s door. “I think maybe I should be asking you how you are. With everything you’ve been through, someone needs to be taking care of you.”
“Are you always so…generous? I’ve taken up your entire day, and now your night, and here you are asking me how I am.” She was a woman used to giving, but one, he suspected, who never took. He wondered if she even knew how.
“Trust me, I didn’t have much of a day or night planned for myself that having you take it up interrupted anything I wanted to do.”
“Why are you here, Arabella?” he asked, even to his own ears sounding much more seductive than he’d intended.
“In your room, or in Peru?”
Ah, she was good at the art of avoidance, too. He was more curious now than he had been but he’d respect her privacy, if that’s what she preferred. Grant her the same space she did him. “Look, just so it won’t seem like I’m prying, I checked your credentials earlier.”
She arched her eyebrows, but didn’t say a word.
“I found out you’re a very good doctor, in a highly regarded medical practice in California.”
“That’s all?”
“That’s all I needed. Because of Ana Maria.”
“You can’t be too careful these days, can you?” She smiled, and it was such a soft smile it gave him goose bumps. “And just so you’ll know the rest of the story, I’ve resigned from my practice, which leaves me time to explore different possibilities for my career.”
“What kind of possibilities?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I suppose I’ll know it when I see it.”
More avoidance. He was more curious now than just a moment ago. Apparently there were secrets behind all that sadness in her eyes. So, on that rather obvious cue it was time to shift the conversation. Or let it drop—which he didn’t want to do yet. The truth was, he liked talking to Arabella, even if it was more of a one-sided conversation, with him doing most of the conversing. “Do you like Peru?” He asked for a lack of something better to say.
“I hope so.”
Odd, again. “This is your first time here?”
Glancing down at the floor, Arabella nodded yet said nothing, leaving Gabriel to wonder even more what it was about Arabella that drew him in. She was so vulnerable, like she needed someone to protect her. Yet she was strong, maybe even a little defiant. So, did she have someone in her life to protect her, someone who saw her needs even more keenly than he believed he was seeing? Did she have someone back in her own room who wondered why she was spending the night in another man’s room, or perhaps someone who understood why she was compelled to do it? Because he understood. Even without knowing much about her, what he’d come to understand was that she was totally giving, a woman who couldn’t look the other way when she saw need.
Truthfully, he did feel guilty, like he was taking advantage of that. Sure, he’d turned down her offer at the clinic, but when he’d found her at his hotel door there was nothing in him that could have or would have turned her down a second time. He wanted to think it was because he was intrigued by the lady. But his own motives here were suspect, even to him. Or maybe overwhelmed was a better way to describe it. “It’s OK that you’re here, isn’t it?” he asked, sounding like a selfish dolt, as this was the question he should have asked right off. Except he’d been totally preoccupied by his own problems at that moment and hadn’t even thought about Arabella other than what she could do to help him. But now he wanted to know. “No one’s going to be angry that you’re here in my room and not somewhere else…with someone else.”
She laughed. “No, I don’t have anybody back in my room waiting for me, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Did it come out that awkwardly? Because I was trying to be subtle.”
“Yes, I’m afraid it did. As awkward as anything I’ve heard in a while.”
Gabriel chuckled, then immediately cut if off for fear he would wake Ana Maria. “So, then, how does one go about asking personal questions without being too personal about it? Because I do want to respect your privacy, but I’d also like to satisfy my own curiosity.”
“Ask, and I’ll answer. Or not.”
“OK, are you married?”
“No. Not married, not seriously involved. No children. No future plans in any of those directions. And no more questions on that aspect of my life. So, next question?”
In the dark shadows he could barely make out the brief smile on her lips. Stunning. Lips he would have kissed under different circumstances…a thought that caused him to take a step back. “Would you rather have the bed?” he asked, awkwardly again, then clarified it. “Alone.”
“Under the circumstances, I think you need it more than I do. I’m fine in the chair.” She took a step backward, too. “And I think we should be quiet now. I don’t want Ana Maria to wake up.” She took another step, and turned around. But before she returned to the chair by the crib she turned back to Gabriel, studied him for a moment, then smiled. “Thank you for letting me do this. It makes things better for a little while.”
Better? He wanted to ask what was better, but he didn’t. With all the mixed-up feelings rushing through him just now, he was safer not knowing.
“Damn,” he muttered, as he dropped back down into bed. There were too many complications, and he hated complications. All he wanted was to go back a few days in time, to when Lynda had been alive and happy about her pregnancy, when his life had been just the way he’d planned it. When he hadn’t even known Dr. Arabella Burke existed.
Well, maybe that’s the one thing he would have changed in all this confusion—meeting Arabella. He was glad he had because she was interesting. Outside her obvious physical attributes, and she’d been blessed with more than her fair share, she was smart, compassionate, dedicated. But her sad eyes bothered him, much more than they should have. Much more than he wanted to allow, but he really didn’t have any control over that. Even as he drifted off to sleep again, that’s the image that stayed with him—those sad, sad eyes.
“She’s doing well this morning?” Gabriel asked. He wandered over to the crib and looked down, only to find Ana Maria looking up at him. It was hard looking at her, remembering all his sister’s plans. She’d been so excited when she’d called him with the news of her pregnancy, and every time they’d talked after that she’d been so full of expectation, talking about having more babies, saying how good she felt even though her belly was big and her ankles were swollen. So he still had a difficult time looking at the baby because there was always such an overflow of bitter-sweet memories. “No more upset stomach?” he asked, trying to sound clinical about it.
“She had a very good night. Slept like she should have. I think she’d probably like something a little more substantial than the sugar water in her stomach this morning.”
“Well, I’m on my way down to the front desk to pick up the formula. Señora Hernandez, from the clinic, rang me up a few minutes ago, and she’s waiting downstairs. So, do you mind staying here a little longer?” The truth was, the logistics of handling a baby and doing everything else that needed to be done befuddled him. He’d told the nurse he’d be right down before he’d even considered that he would have to deal with Ana Maria somewhere in that arrangement, too. And carting a baby around while he tried moving several cases