Closure. Her favorite word. And she didn’t want closure, she hated the very word, but she did need to understand what it was tearing them—and her—apart. She needed to do it for her. “Okay.”
He smiled, but she didn’t see relief in his eyes. If anything he seemed…resigned.
A few minutes later with shorts, swimsuit and sunscreen jammed into a woven bag, Cass walked with Maximos from the palazzo through town to the harbor where the boat waited.
But it wasn’t just a boat, Cass discovered, as they reached the small port dominated by one luxurious yacht. The sleek, stylish Guiliano yacht was a ninety footer, built in Viareggio, Italy, its sophisticated design practically an art form.
As Adriana had said, all the wedding party and guests had already boarded the yacht by the time Maximos and Cass arrived at Ortygia’s harbor. A lavish breakfast buffet had been prepared for the guests and the upper deck was a lively hub of activity as everyone milled about sipping champagne and balancing plates piled high with fresh fruits, sliced meats, cheeses and warm fragrant breads.
Maximos assisted Cass in boarding. “There’s coffee, juice, plenty to eat,” he said. “You’ll want to have a good breakfast now as it’ll be a number of hours before we arrive in Catania where we’ll disembark.”
“Is that where we’ll have lunch?”
“At the castle at Aci Castello.” Maximos signaled to the captain that they were ready to go. “If you’ll excuse me a minute, I should greet the others.”
He left her but he hadn’t forgotten her. A ship steward appeared shortly at her side with a cup of coffee laced heavily with milk and a small plate with a croissant and cheese. Her favorite breakfast.
She glanced toward Maximos who was making the rounds, playing the cordial host, and her lips curved ruefully. He confounded her. She honestly didn’t know what to make of him. Even here with his family he was so contained, so detached, essentially a closed book.
But why?
What made him mistrust so much? What made him want sex, but not love? Convenience, not commitment?
Why would a man as strong, as wealthy, as powerful as Maximos be so…afraid?
Now the yacht was pushing back from the harbor, motoring slowly past ancient Ortygia’s striking stone buildings, and Cass’s attention was caught by the buildings gleaming ivory and yellow in the wash of morning light.
She didn’t think she’d ever seen anything so beautiful as the dazzling displays of architecture set against the brilliant turquoise water. Gold and sapphire, lapis and silver. Breathtaking.
The yacht reached open water and picked up speed and Cass remained at the ship’s railing, watching the land recede.
“Would you like more coffee?” Maximos asked, joining her.
“Your steward’s very conscientious. He’s been by three times with fresh cups.”
“That’s what he’s paid to do.” Maximos rested his forearms on the railing, and he stared out at the bright blue water surrounding them. The morning was already quite warm and yet the breeze cut the heat.
Cass glanced at him over her shoulder. “Your sisters have been whispering and staring at me.”
“You’re beautiful.”
She made a face. “That’s not why they’re staring at me.”
He laughed, lifted his hands. “I’m sorry. You’re right. You are beautiful but that’s not why they’re looking at you. They’re curious.”
“About…?”
“You. I’ve never…brought anyone here before.”
“Never?”
“Not since I was a kid.”
Maximos saw the way she looked at him, and he knew she didn’t believe him, or maybe it’s that she didn’t understand him. Well, he couldn’t blame her. He didn’t understand himself.
All his life he’d thought he was one person and then he’d discovered he was someone else.
He’d always been strong, fair, just. But ever since meeting Cass…
He’d done nothing but play dirty. Break every rule.
“I’m glad you didn’t go,” he said after a moment. “I didn’t want you to leave like that.”
“But you know I’m going to leave. I have to.”
He heard the cool note in her voice. She was still upset with him. She should be.
“Eventually, yes,” he answered.
He saw her throat work and he felt a rush of inexplicable emotion—need, pain, anger, again, so much anger—and it was just a matter of days…hours…now before he told her the truth.
His gut churned knowing she’d be devastated. She’d never forgive him. Why would she forgive him? He couldn’t forgive himself.
And this is why he’d ended it six months ago, he reminded himself. This is why he’d let her go. It was better for her. Cleaner. Smarter. Safer.
For her. And him. But mainly her.
How could she move on if she were still so emotionally tied to him?
Her hands balled on the railing. “You make me crazy,” she whispered. “You pull away when I need you, come to me when I don’t. You hurt me, and confuse me, and I don’t know why I still care for you so much when you’ve made my life a living hell.” Her voice broke and she dipped her head, hiding her face and Maximos knew she was trying not to cry.
If she were really his, he’d pull her to him and comfort her. But she wasn’t his. Couldn’t be his.
Cass knew Maximos was watching her, felt his ambivalence and his ambivalence just cut even deeper.
You have to be hard, she told herself, tough.
But she didn’t feel hard inside, she felt like glass. She felt fragile… ethereal. Her strength and resolve were gone. It was as if the warrior had broken, leaving her crumpled. Leaving her so damn small.
She couldn’t bear Maximos’s anger or indifference any longer. She could take the brutality from anyone but him. She’d been his…how could he hurt her like this? How could he continue to be so cold, so hard, so removed?
What she needed most was tenderness. Now. Right now. She needed his arms around her, holding her, needed his lips against her neck, her cheek, her mouth, warming her, soothing her. Loving her.
But he didn’t love her. And he felt no tenderness for her. He’d break her the same way he broke all his competition.
She pictured the luxury auto industry he’d so completely dominated these past ten years, recalled the sleek fast dangerous cars he’d perfected and realized he’d already broken her.
She was like one of his beautiful cars caught in a pileup. Twisted, crumpled metal marked by gritty piles of shattered glass.
Her head spun with the truth. She’d once thought she was so tough, so together. And yet now look at her…
She was nothing. She’d become nothing. Love had reduced her to this.
“Why do you still care?” Maximos asked after a long silence.
She made a rough sound in the back of her throat. “I loved you.”
“Why?”
He wanted to discuss this here…now? He wanted a rational conversation now? He wanted