“It wasn’t a mistake. It was the night of my farewell. I was leaving for Miami, with no plans to come back to New Zealand. That’s not exactly great timing for starting a relationship.”
Though wanting to stay furious because it felt so much stronger and more empowering than feeling dumped, Ben’s use of the word “relationship” literally took the wind from her sails. It meant he had been thinking about her in relationship terms. Although, clearly, he had not been thinking very hard. “We had chemistry for months before that—”
“Babe, if I’d made a move on you earlier, that would have meant we would have been dating. Then I would have been answerable to Nick.”
Babe. There it was again. A secret thrill she absolutely did not want to feel coursed through her. Obviously, where Ben was concerned, she was more vulnerable and needy than she had thought. The fact was she could not afford to weaken because he had called her babe…as if he still saw her as girlfriend material, as if they still had an intimate connection. “What does Nick have to do with any of this?”
Ben leaned on the railing beside her, suddenly close enough that she could feel the heat of his skin. His clean masculine scent teased her nostrils, spinning her back to the one night they had spent together and the heated, addictive hours she had spent locked in his arms. Out of nowhere, the intense awareness that, a year ago, had burned her from the inside out was back.
His gaze touched on hers, and for a fractured moment the air turned molten and she had the crazy thought that Ben was just as affected as she.
“Nick was my boss,” he said flatly. “When he knew I was interested, he spelled it out chapter and verse. Unless I was ready to make a commitment, as in marriage, I should leave you alone.”
Sophie’s startled gaze clashed with Ben’s. The word “marriage” was faintly shocking. It also invested what Ben had just said about Nick with the ring of truth. When it came to the Messena women, Nick and her other three brothers—Gabriel, Kyle and Damian—were territorial and overprotective. It was the kind of medieval, macho behavior that gave her warm fuzzies and a wonderful sense of security when she did need protection. She knew that, hands down, if anyone tried to bother her or touch her when she didn’t want to be touched, he would have to deal with four large, muscled brothers and their version of the law of the jungle.
The downside to the Messena men was that they could be macho and controlling, and could totally overstep the mark by interfering with her life.
The reasons for Ben’s abrupt departure and lack of communication were starting to come clear, although not entirely. “Nick can be overbearing, but that still doesn’t explain your behavior after you slept with me.” No apology, no phone call, not even a text message explaining why he didn’t want to stay in contact, just that shabby little note thanking her for their night together…
Ben shrugged, his expression remote and unapologetic. “Like I said, I was leaving for the States. I was taking on a new business. There was no way I could afford to start a relationship.”
Relationship. There was that word again. Despite her determination to not allow Ben to affect her, the fact that he had seen her as potential relationship material, but in the wrong time and place, was quietly riveting. It raised the possibility that, maybe, there could be a right time and place.
Still, Sophie knew that timing and geography weren’t the only issues with Ben. From her online research she knew that he had also been burned by a past relationship and now seemed chronically wary of commitment.
Previously, she had dismissed Ben’s past. He was a big boy; he should be able to get over a broken engagement. However, that had been a serious mistake, because commitment was obviously still a problem.
The moment she had realized he’d had her number when she had been sitting in her SUV at the bottom of bush-choked gully burned through her again. “You had my number. You could have phoned me.”
“If I’d done that we’d be right back where we are now.” Ben’s gaze seared her.
With slow deliberation, he picked up her hand and threaded her fingers with his. Heat shimmered from that one point of contact, making her heart pound and her stomach tighten. Memories she had worked hard to bury flooded back. Ben’s mouth on hers, heat welding them together as they’d lain together in his bed. The intense emotion that had poured through her with every touch, every caress, along with a bone-deep certainty she had never experienced before and which had been the reason she had consented to sleep with him in the first place. The uncanny conviction that after years of disinterested dating, she had finally found The One.
With a jerky movement, she withdrew her hand.
Ben pushed away from the railing and dragged off his tie as if it was suddenly too tight. He draped it over the railing next to his jacket. His brooding gaze dropped to her mouth. “I didn’t call you because I didn’t think you were serious about wanting a real relationship.”
She frowned. He could only be referring to the fact that she was naturally wary and standoffish when it came to relationships and that it had taken her eighteen months to admit to him that she found him crazily attractive. “It’s not as if I’m in the habit of having one-night stands!”
He shrugged. “I was also not in a position to offer any kind of commitment.”
Sophie met Ben’s gaze squarely. She could barely concentrate on Ben’s struggle with his emotional past when she was coping with her own very present struggle and the startling revelation that he still wanted her. “You could have asked me what I wanted instead of talking to Nick. It’s not as if my brother is any kind of a love doctor.”
To put it succinctly, Nick had had a serious issue with commitment, which had been resolved only when the woman he had married, Elena, had taken a risk on him and he had ended up falling for her hook, line and sinker. It had just taken some time.
Suddenly all the breath seemed to be sucked out of Sophie’s lungs. Elena and Nick’s relationship had been a bumpy affair, but Elena had persevered and she had won out in the end. Sophie believed that Elena had won Nick because what they shared had been real and true in the first place. But the relationship could easily have failed if Elena hadn’t taken the initiative and risked herself by sleeping with Nick in unpromising circumstances. Twice.
Sophie took a deep breath and tried to stay calm, which was difficult because her mind was going a million miles an hour. Usually she was guarded, logical: smart. She did not let emotion carry her away. She did not try to win a man, especially not an alpha male like Ben, because alphas were dominant and predatory and they preferred to do the hunting.
But this was different. They were on a darkened terrace, with the perfumed night pressing in around them. Heated awareness pulsed through her as she grappled with the dangerous knowledge that Ben still wanted her.
It wasn’t love, not even close.
But it was a start.
If Elena had worked with Nick—who, let’s face it, had been an extremely unpromising boyfriend—Sophie could work with Ben. In that moment a world of possibilities opened up and a year of wallowing in victimhood was gone. She was back to her normal ultraorganized, controlling self with a project to manage, and that project was Ben Sabin.
She closed the distance between them. “Let’s not worry about the commitment issue right now,” she said smoothly, her palms gliding over his shoulders.
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