‘Why are you so breathless? What’s the matter? Are you ill? Have you got an infection?’
‘I’m climbing a mountain, Mum.’ Despite the pride at being able to achieve something she’d never imagined possible a few years ago, Rose felt her mother’s anxiety shimmering down the phone all the way from London. It didn’t matter how many miles she put between them, there was no escape when she was only a phone call away. Still, she couldn’t pop round unannounced like she used to do, not without a lot of planning. Rose tried to steady her breathing, but that wasn’t easy on the uphill. ‘Please don’t worry about me. It’ll make you sick again. I’m fine. Really.’
‘You’re climbing a mountain? In the dark? Why on earth would you do that?’
Good question. Rose stopped for a minute to catch her breath and take in the view. A cloudless sky, lit by a silvery moon, more stars than she’d ever imagined there could be above her. And then, below that, a horizon of dark shadows of the mountains surrounding the village, and the orange lights in the Oakdale houses illuminating the foothills like glow-worms.
Magical. Breathtaking. Peaceful. So peaceful. No one to challenge her, to compare her to how she used to be, no one to tell her how much she’d changed. No one to nag her, to fuss. No one to trouble her.
Except for a certain grumpy doctor she couldn’t stop thinking about… That was troubling. She’d only spent one day in his company but he intrigued her, probably a lot more than he should. From that whole Nordic vibe he had going on to the full body tingle she’d had when they shook hands.
Tingling wasn’t on her agenda. She’d come to lick her wounds and start afresh, have an adventure with a big emphasis on not getting involved with another man for a very long time. She’d had enough of being told what to do and how to act…and, after being in hospital for so long, everyone had been an expert on how she should behave.
Not any more!
Besides, Dr Thor had a mother-in-law, ergo he was married. He had a child. He was so off-limits he might as well have been in Outer Mongolia or… Norway.
Breathing in the cold fresh air, she tried to still her mind the way she’d been taught. In. Out. In. Out. Feet on the earth. Breathe the scents of wildflowers and grass. Listen. Up here it was completely silent, apart from the wheeze in her chest at the unusual exertion. And the palpable panic from her mother. ‘Rose? Are you still there? Why are you up a mountain?’
‘Oh. Yes, sorry. I’m just dropping something off at someone’s house.’
‘Whose house?’
Thor’s. She smiled to herself. He really did have nice eyes and a smile that transformed his face, when he remembered to do it. When he allowed himself… There was something locked up inside him; she could see that. Something had happened to make him so tetchy and reserved. She just didn’t know what. Didn’t want to know, really. Because everyone had something, right? ‘Just the boss’s house.’
‘What kind of boss brings you out at night in the dark? Walking up a hill? Does he know about your heart—?’
‘No.’ Rose cut her mother off. At some point she’d realise her daughter wasn’t an invalid any more, but it hadn’t hit home yet. ‘There’s no reason to tell him, okay? Why would I? The job agency only ask if there are any medical issues that interfere with my ability to do the job. And I don’t have any. I’m healthy. Healthier than a lot of people my age. I get lots of exercise, I eat well. I take my tablets and I get regular check-ups.’
Mostly, she didn’t want all the questions, the Oh, I’m so sorry or… You’re so lucky and, worst of all, What happened to the person who died? Once upon a time she’d loved being the party girl and centre of attention, but not now. She hated all the interrogation and prying into her life.
Unfortunately her mother hadn’t got that particular memo. ‘I’m worried about you, Rose. I still don’t understand why you went into nursing…all those infections in hospitals. You could catch something, or worse…’
‘Please, Mum, we’ve talked about this so many times. I’m fine. Dr Lee said nursing would be fine as long as I was careful.’
‘You had a lovely job at Red Public Relations. They were nice people. Our kind of people.’
Your kind of people. Not mine. Not any more. ‘Not this again, please. I love nursing.’
‘And I don’t know why you had to move so far away from everyone who loves you.’
Because of conversations like this. ‘I’m just trying to make my own way, Mum. It’s so lovely here; you should come and visit.’
‘I just might.’
Give me three years’ notice to prepare myself mentally. ‘I’ve rented a place with two bedrooms, so come any time. Just give me some advance warning so I can get time off to show you round. We could go to Beatrix Potter’s house; you’d love it.’
‘What about Toby?’
‘What about him? I don’t think he’s interested in Jemima Puddleduck. Far too boring for Toby.’
The terrain had evened out a little now as she got closer to Thor’s house, but her heart was hammering at the exertion. And at the mention of her ex-boyfriend. ‘Please don’t bring him with you.’
Her mother sighed. ‘I’m sure if you came home and talked to him he’d take you back.’
Rose stopped outside the doctor’s house. No car. Which meant they were still out. Good—she’d just leave the food here then head back home. Stupid idea in the first place; God knew why she’d suddenly decided to bring it. Or why they had to talk about her pathetic love life and ruin this lovely evening.
‘Toby dumped me, if you remember. Because I’m not the fun-loving girl I used to be, apparently. Because I decided to do something to give back.’
And mainly—although she hadn’t had the heart to tell her mum this—because he couldn’t cope with the fact that there was still a good chance Rose’s life would be cut short. He didn’t want to back a lame horse when he could marry a perfectly normal woman with all her own body parts and an uncomplicated life expectancy.
‘You could give back in lots of other ways, darling. A little charity work or something.’ She cleared her throat and Rose waited for the Don’t let your one chance slip through your fingers talk. ‘Don’t miss out on your chance with Toby Fletcher just because you’re stubborn. He said he didn’t mind that children were out of the picture.’
‘He didn’t want them in the first place, Mum.’ Rose had been the devastated one when they’d been told that.
‘That’s good then, isn’t it? And he’d look after you, financially at least.’
‘For God’s sake, Mum, he didn’t want me, okay? Besides, are you saying I should marry a man just because he’s rich? Do what he says? Fit in with who he wants me to be? Try to be someone who I’m not?’
‘Rose?’ A man’s voice behind her. Gruff.
‘Oh!’ Her poor heart damned near thumped out of her chest. ‘Joe! You’re home? I didn’t realise. Got to go, Mum. Bye.’ Flicking her phone into her pocket, she turned to meet steady and distinctly unamused blue eyes. ‘No car here…’
His mouth twitched. A little wary. ‘It’s in the garage.’
Of course it was. She looked over at the dark shadow of a building on the left-hand side of the house. There was the garage. A faint smell of petrol in the air. She looked down at the plastic container in her hand and shrugged. Now she just felt stupid, like a kid trying to be teacher’s pet or something. She’d just planned to leave the container and a note and then go back to her cottage, not have an actual conversation.