Miranda’s ability to nurture flowed from her with every breath. And he kept wondering how it would feel to lay his head on her breasts.
Wrong. Wrong, Newberry. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
They’d be soft, with hard nipples. Womanly softness with a core of strength.
And they’d smell like flowers.
Because she did. Something in her soap, probably. Or whatever lotion she used.
When he started envisioning himself rubbing lotion onto her back, into her shoulders and the sensitive parts of her neck, he sat forward. Brought his thoughts to a screeching halt—to catch her watching him stare at her breasts.
Their charged gazes held for a second.
How could something so not good feel so great?
* * *
Tad wasn’t feeling too great half an hour later as he sat with Miranda over coffee in a shop they’d visited several times before. Others had been there with them, the last of them just leaving.
“Let’s move to a smaller table,” he suggested when she didn’t get up with the others. He was pleased she’d stayed, but the look on her face didn’t bode well. Something was bothering her.
And since she’d been fine until the others left, he was pretty certain that something had to do with him.
Or rather, his wandering eyes. He’d screwed up. Badly. Bringing sexual awareness into the workplace. He of all people. Back home, at the station, he’d developed a reputation for being the one guy who hadn’t fallen under the spell of a young female cop who’d apparently joined the force to find herself a husband in uniform, not to serve and protect.
He’d also refused friendly advances from a forensic specialist he’d actually liked a lot because he knew better than to bring sex into work.
Letting Miranda pick the table, he followed her to a two-seater in the far corner, and his mood dropped another notch. He was supposed to be gaining her trust, not losing it. For her own safety. And because he’d given his word to a man he trusted.
It wasn’t about the money. It had never been about the money for him—not one day of his working life.
He had to fix this.
“I’m sorry,” he said the second they were seated across from each other at a table so small he had to turn so his knees weren’t touching hers.
Absolutely no touching. He had fences to mend, not further destroy.
“I was completely out of line, but I swear to you, I’ve never, ever had a problem keeping personal and work separated.”
Miranda’s frown made her look smart rather than confused. Assessing rather than seeking. “I’m sorry, did I miss something? What are you talking about?” She sipped from her half-full cup of latte, which had to be getting cold.
His straight-up black had been gone a quarter of an hour after they’d arrived. An espresso sounded good. He wasn’t used to all the sitting in his car staring out at life that he’d been doing these past six weeks. If nothing else, the time off was letting him know that much as he loved detective work, he wasn’t cut out to be a private investigator.
He was more of an action type of cop. Following leads. Hunting down the bad guys.
Not being one of them. “You and I... I appreciate the chance to learn about the High Risk Team, to help out while I’m here. I might have crossed a line and—” He stopped. “Uh, I want to tell you that—”
He broke off as she shook her head, and then looked him straight in the eye. “If anyone crossed a line, it was me, Tad. Letting my son talk you into playing video games with him...”
“I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was kind of hoping for a rematch,” he said. She thought she was the one being inappropriate?
“He is, too,” she said. But she wasn’t smiling. So he wasn’t getting his hopes up. Or his worries, either.
He had to talk to her father. His current boss. To let him know he could be developing feelings for his daughter, so the chief had a chance to get him off the case before anything happened between them.
And then he’d lose his reputation for good. Lose any chance of resuming his career in North Carolina, and possibly anywhere else depending on how the internal investigation into his last case went down.
“I told Ethan I’d talk to you about it,” she said, surprising him further. “But...this is all so awkward, you know? You haven’t even asked me out, or hinted that you wanted to, and it feels like we’re having ‘the talk’ or something.”
“I’d say apologizing for possibly crossing a line could be construed as a hint.” What the hell was he doing?
“So maybe it’s a little complicated, huh?”
“Maybe.” He should be walking away. Instead he was leaning in. Smiling at her. “I’m attracted to you.”
He wasn’t going to lie to this woman any more than he had to. She’d had enough hell in her life. Had already had a man betray her trust in the worst possible way.
“Yeah.” She glanced away, licked her lips in a completely natural manner that turned him on, although it clearly wasn’t meant as a come-on, and looked back at him. “I told you I haven’t been on a date since Ethan’s father died. What I didn’t tell you was that...”
He waited, not even breathing. Was she going to tell him that the man had beaten her so badly, terrorized her so horrifically, she’d had to change her identity to get away from him?
Would she tell him the man’s real name so he could verify his death and know for himself that she was safe?
He couldn’t tell her who he really was without her father’s say-so, not at that point, but if he could at least be certain that the fiend who’d hurt this woman was definitely gone, he’d be a whole lot happier.
“Well, the truth is, I haven’t even been attracted to anyone...”
Becaauuusse...
“Which is probably why I’m behaving like such an imbecile right now,” she finished, running the rim of her finger around the edge of her coffee cup.
Had she just told him she was attracted to him? Replaying the last minute or so without his own inner dialogue, he was pretty sure she had.
And while he was disappointed that she wasn’t confiding in him, he was relieved, too. Anytime she spoke to anyone about her past, she opened herself up to the possibility of being found.
He was glad to know that Miranda was taking good care of herself and Ethan.
“We’re attracted to each other,” he said, adding a lightness to his tone he didn’t feel. “We should drink to that. Can I get you another coffee?” He stood, needing that espresso in the worst way.
“Another latte?” she asked, gazing up at him, as though she’d just asked for a whole lot more and was confident he’d deliver.
He wanted to.
But was equally sure he couldn’t. Not yet.
One thing was for certain. His weekly call with the man paying his rent couldn’t come fast enough. Maybe he’d break protocol and move the conversation up by a few days.
Maybe.
Standing at the coffee bar, Tad was mostly just eager to get back to the beautiful woman waiting for him at the table in the corner.
* * *
Miranda’s stomach was in knots. Her hands shook. It didn’t seem to matter that she’d made up her mind two days ago to have