Her life had been one big complication for years. For her entire life, really. With each change, she’d dug her feet in, disciplined herself to be good, to meet other people’s needs in the hopes they’d keep her around.
And every single time, she hadn’t been good enough.
The sincerity radiating from Wade’s expression tempted her to confess the truth about why Cam had died, but she hadn’t survived an abusive aunt, four foster homes and a cheating husband for nothing.
“I’m pretty tired.” She sat on the edge of the bed. If Wade wasn’t here, she’d crawl under the covers and sleep for a month. Try to, at least.
“Stretch out and rest. I’ll get your bags.” He knocked on the door frame and left.
She was too tired to protest. Besides, Wade was a strapping cowboy. He’d never let her haul her suitcases and bags inside. She had nothing to prove by overexerting herself and everything to lose if she let her pride override her common sense.
This baby needed a healthy mama.
Her idea of a perfect family had been shattered long ago. She’d give about anything to have any family—perfect or not. A family of two suited her fine. Her and her boy.
Please, God, let my baby live.
The front door creaked, and Wade’s footsteps clomped closer. He set two suitcases in the bedroom. The muscles in his arms and chest strained as he straightened. Even pregnant, she couldn’t help but notice. Unfortunately, her pulse did, too.
“Be right back with the rest.” He waved his fingers toward the bed. “Why aren’t you lying down?”
“I don’t need to lie down. Now scoot.” She was surprised how easily she fell into their familiar sassing, but it left a bittersweet tang on her tongue.
His lips curved into a cocky smile as he exited the room.
She wished she could be the same Kit McAllistor she was before Cam had announced he wanted a divorce. The one who could banter with her old friend Wade, the one who believed love conquered all and if she just tried hard enough, her husband would want her and not other women.
The old Kit wouldn’t have screamed at Cam the night he had a heart attack and died.
She might not have killed him, but it was her fault he was dead. If she hadn’t yelled those terrible things, he wouldn’t have had the heart attack. He still would have divorced her, though.
The old Kit was gone, along with her dreams and her husband.
No matter what happened, she was on her own. Deluding herself into thinking Cam would provide the security she’d craved had been her biggest mistake. She couldn’t afford to make the same one twice.
“That’s everything.” Wade deposited the bags and wiped his hands down his jeans. “You hungry?”
She almost said no, but her stomach growled.
“Guess that answers my question.” He hitched his chin for her to follow him. “Come on. I’ll take you back to my place and feed you.”
Why tears sprang to her eyes, she didn’t know. Maybe because with all the uncertainties she faced—no job, no husband, a baby with serious health problems—she could still count on Wade.
“What are we having?” She stood, pressing her palm into her lower back. The drive had tightened every muscle in her poor body.
“Steak.” He rolled his eyes. “Du-uh.”
“Grilled?” Her mouth started watering. The man had always been able to grill a mean steak. “With melted butter on top?”
“As if I’d cook it any other way.”
A steak. Warm bed. Gourmet kitchen. And wildflowers as far as the eye could see.
She didn’t deserve this.
One week.
Then back to the real world.
She’d build a new life. In Casper. With her sweet baby. If he lived...
For now, she’d do her best to get through the next seven days. “Lead the way.”
If he could find a way back to the easy friendship he’d enjoyed with Kit over the years, their first supper together wouldn’t be awkward. Well, not as awkward as it was at the moment. It was hard to believe she was actually sitting across from him at his dining table.
The top of her rounded stomach was barely visible from where he sat. Why her being pregnant messed with his head so much, he couldn’t say, but it brought out weird feelings. Protectiveness and worry and...never mind about the rest.
He’d practically grown up with her, they’d been friends for so long. They relied on each other, but not in a romantic way. She’d always viewed him as a big brother, and he’d considered her a...
He took another bite of steak and chewed a little too aggressively.
So he’d had a crush on her and lived for her emails and calls all through high school, even though they’d been apart.
And big deal, he’d visited her every chance he could get when she was at college.
The day she’d called and told him she’d gotten engaged had been like a big cow patty to the face for him. But he’d congratulated her, hung up, dusted off his chaps, gotten back in the saddle and ridden out to the section of fence he’d been about to replace. He may have chopped an old post into tiny bits that afternoon, but by the next morning, he’d been fine.
“Is Casper temporary? Are you moving back to Fort Laramie after the baby is born?” He sprinkled pepper on his baked potato.
“No.” Her eyelashes fluttered. “I canceled the lease on our house. I tried to finish out the school year, but it was difficult. I ended up using the rest of my vacation time before giving my notice. Now that there’s so much uncertainty with the baby, I’m taking life one day at a time.”
Made sense. Continuing her day-to-day existence after losing Cam must have been hard.
“Casper is permanent, then?”
She pushed the meat around her plate. “I don’t think in terms of permanent anymore.”
He didn’t, either.
Jackson Poff would turn over in his grave if he knew how poorly Wade had managed his inheritance. Wade never should have mortgaged JPX Ranch as collateral for the loan on Dudley Farms. If he sold the new property soon, even at a loss, he’d be able to pay off the loan and have his nest egg back in his bank account where it belonged. If he couldn’t sell it...he’d have to put JPX Ranch up for sale, too.
Why had he been so careless with the land he loved? It had been pure arrogance to think he could add to his profits by buying a big farm when he only had experience growing hay.
“Do you have anyone who can help you?” he asked. “Cam’s parents?”
“His mom died, and his dad and I aren’t close.” She patted her mouth with a napkin, but tension lines edged her lips.
“Friends?” He tried to think of who she’d had in her wedding, who she’d hung out with, but he drew a blank.
“Letting women into my life has never been my strong suit, Wade.” She nudged her plate to the side and leaned back in the chair. “My life revolved around Cam and my job. I’m not like you. I don’t even have to ask to know you’re still best friends with Clint, Nash and Marshall.”
It was true. They’d been his brothers since the day they’d met at Yearling Group Home for teen