“I hope you weren’t lying awake worried about working with me,” he said. “We’re going to be great together.”
She smiled at him. “Is that prediction coming from your soothsaying abilities?”
“No. I’m not a soothsayer or anything close to it. My prediction is coming from firsthand experience.”
With women, no doubt, Vivian thought wryly. Then, before she could stop herself, she blurted, “To be honest, Sawyer, you were right. I am a little sad. And I really have no reason to be. Except that last night at the dinner table, my oldest brother and his wife announced that they’re having a baby.”
There. She’d said it. She’d gotten it out, but rather than feeling relieved, she realized she sounded like a petulant child. Or worse. What the heck was wrong with her, anyway?
“And that made you sad? Why?” he asked curiously. “Is he unworthy of being a father?”
She shook her head. “Blake is already an excellent father. He’s a strong, tender and loving man. I can’t think of anyone who deserves to have children more than him.”
His gaze made a thoughtful survey of her face, and Vivian felt as though his brown eyes were kissing her cheeks and lips. The erotic sensation was like nothing she’d ever felt before and she wondered if she was suffering some sort of hormonal imbalance. This wasn’t normal! Nothing about the way she was reacting to Sawyer was remotely close to normal.
“Then the sister-in-law is not of your liking,” he replied. “Is that what worries you?”
“No. Kat is like a sister to me. She’s a wonderful mother and human being. I love her and I’m very happy for the both of them.”
He shook his head as though she’d lost him somewhere along the trail.
“So you’re happy and sad at the same time. That’s what you’re trying to say?”
“Crazy, isn’t it?” she said with a self-deprecating laugh. “I should be all smiles. Instead, I want to burst into tears. Believe me, Sawyer, I don’t normally behave like an emotional female. And starting right now, I’m going to put this all behind me. So let’s get out and look the pavilion over. This is where Mort has scheduled the Christmas bingo party and we need to decide how many tables and chairs we can set up without crowding everyone.”
“We’ll get to work in a minute,” he agreed. “Right now, I want to ask you something.”
Determined to show him she wasn’t a weak-willed sniveling female, she straightened her shoulders. “Okay. What is it? That you want to swap places with another ranger so that you can get the heck away from me?”
Clearly amused by her question, he chuckled. “No. I’m just wondering if this sadness you’re feeling is really envy?”
There he went again, she thought desperately. He was putting his finger right on the sore spot in her heart.
Glancing away from him, she focused on a far distant rise, where a young couple had spent the night in a tent. At the moment they were standing at a portable grill, laughing at their feeble attempts to start a fire. Garth had never done anything outdoors with her, Vivian thought dully. But unfortunately, she’d not discovered he’d been a man averse to getting his hands dirty, until after she’d married him.
“I suppose that is what I’m feeling. You see, I always wanted a big family of my own—just like my parents had. It didn’t turn out that way for me. And sometimes, well—it’s hard to accept that life can be so different from what we plan.”
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