Had he married and had a child? He might have. Why wouldn’t he? Growing up, all he’d wanted was to take his dad’s place as Eudemonia’s doctor. To marry, have a family and put down even deeper roots than his partly Alaska Native family had generations ago.
She gulped, trying to get air. Maybe the baby was a patient. Except there was no one in the room except him, his mom and the infant. It wasn’t likely he’d be taking care of a child without any parent around, cuddling it and kissing it and looking at it adoringly.
“Hello, Rory. I haven’t seen you in forever,” Beth Hunter said with a tentative smile. “I was worried I wouldn’t get to see you while you were in town.”
“Hi. I’m... I’m only here for a short time. Until Mom’s sister comes to take over.”
Jake glanced up from the baby and his smile faltered. The effort he put into shoring it up again was obvious as he moved his gaze to her mother.
“Twinkie, I’m glad you’ve come in. If you do have a UTI we definitely need to get it taken care of so it doesn’t make you sick while your body is already working so hard to recover.”
“I hate to bother you, but Aurora insisted.”
Her mother walked closer and gave the baby a couple of gentle pokes in its tummy. It grinned.
“He’s getting so big! My goodness, I can’t believe it. Then again, I haven’t seen him since the party your mom gave to celebrate his adoption. How old is he now?”
“He’s almost a year, Wendy. Can you believe it?” Beth said. “We’re having a birthday party for him next week—I’ll be sure to send you an invitation, if you’re feeling up to coming.”
“Oh, I think I will be—with my Aurora here to help me get well and my sister Patty’s coming soon. How are you doing, Beth?”
“Doing very well, thanks. My grandson keeps me hopping, that’s for sure.”
Rory watched everyone beaming at the child and it took her a herculean effort not to pass out, she felt so woozy.
Adopted? The baby was really his? Did the baby belong to a lover, too? Someone he was committed to? Had he wanted to adopt for that reason? Had he married the baby’s mother and her mom just hadn’t thought to tell her?
The baby reached up his little hand to grab a wad of Jake’s hair and he turned, chuckling, to extricate it from the chubby fist. “Ouch! I don’t tug on your hair, now, do I?”
The baby gurgled and laughed in response, and the sound, along with the sweet, loving smile on Jake’s face as he looked down at the baby, made Rory feel physically sick.
This was what they should have had together. She should have had this baby and the life they’d always planned. Instead it had been stolen after one catastrophic decision, changing both their lives forever.
“Twinkie, why don’t you take a seat on the exam table?” she somehow managed to croak. “I’ll meet you out in the waiting room.”
Blindly, she stumbled down the hall and out of the building, gasping in gulps of cold air. Her knees wobbled and she sat on the step, tucking her head between her knees to try to gather herself.
How embarrassing to fall apart this way. What had happened was long ago and far away, and the last thing she would ever want to be was an object of pity. To have Jake’s mother, Jake himself, shaking their heads sadly because she hadn’t been able to move on the way he obviously had. Because she hadn’t even wanted to.
Selfish. She was being horribly selfish—just like the night she’d made that terrible decision. Going out on that rescue, being all self-righteous, telling herself and everyone else that she was doing it to save someone, when in truth it had been for the adrenaline rush of it. The feeling of self-satisfaction she’d craved. There had been a half-dozen other people who could have taken her place to rescue that man...
She had to put aside her feelings. The right thing to do was to try to feel happy for Jake that he had the kind of life he’d always wanted. That he was living in this town, working alongside his dad as a family physician, with the child he’d adopted. Maybe a woman he loved. He deserved that kind of happiness even if she didn’t.
She heard the door open behind her and lifted her head. She stared across the parking lot at the ruby and gold sunset and tried to compose herself. A gentle hand landed on her shoulder. It was too small and light to be Jake’s.
“Rory, I’m sorry if it was a shock to see Jacob’s son. Obviously your mom didn’t tell you.”
Rory just shook her head, not trusting her voice.
Beth Hunter sat on the cold step beside her and propped the baby on her lap. He had on a little red jacket and knit hat, though Beth wasn’t wearing any kind of coat. But then, she was a Native Alaskan through and through, and her children were just like her and their dad. This baby would grow up like all of them, special and wonderful, and Rory swallowed down the tears that suddenly threatened to choke her.
“Do you want to hear the story about Mika? That’s what his mother named him—Mika. Do you want to know how it came about that Jake adopted him?”
Did she?
Turning her head so she couldn’t see the baby’s sweet face as she shook from the inside out, she nearly told Beth that she’d rather not hear it. But not knowing the story wouldn’t change a thing, would it? She’d still feel this deep ache that he had this beautiful little child. That they didn’t have one together. And if he was in love with someone else—that wouldn’t matter, either.
“Sure.”
“A single woman came to Eudemonia to take a job with the oil company nearby. She was pregnant, and either didn’t know who the father was or didn’t want to say. She came to Jake for prenatal care, and he delivered little Mika here at the clinic. When the baby was only about two months old, his mama came in feeling very feverish with a stiff neck. She was confused, and presented with photophobia.”
A fear of light, along with the other symptoms Beth mentioned, likely would have meant one thing for the woman, and that one thing would have been very bad. Rory kept quiet, but forced herself to turn and look at Beth and the baby cuddled against her.
“Jake suspected it was bacterial meningitis, and immediately gave her a combination of IV antibiotics while he did a spinal tap to confirm the diagnosis. But she’d waited too long to come in, and while Jake and his dad did everything they could she died within hours. There was this sweet, tiny baby boy in the office, with Ellie watching him and his mother was gone... Jake—well, it was hard on him. He wondered if there was something more he should have done. And little Mika was all alone.”
“Jake shouldn’t have felt that way. He knows that kind of virulent bacterial infection has to be caught early or it’s over. It’s not his fault that she died,” Rory said dully, knowing that everyone had said nearly the same thing to her, nine years ago.
Not her fault. But it had felt like her fault anyway, and how could she ever know for sure?
Beth nodded. “He knows that—but still... It was hard. He’d brought little Mika into the world and he felt a connection to him, you know? He was allowed to foster the baby until the adoption went through a couple months later. And now he’s a member of the family and my first grandbaby.”
“He’s a lucky boy.”
And Rory meant it. He was. The Hunter family were some of the best people she knew, and he’d be raised in the same awesome way Jake and his brother and sister had been raised. With love and guidance, a strong work ethic and a love for Alaska—especially Eudemonia.
Somehow