Even though Marley had been a toddler when she’d started helping, she’d actually mastered measuring and mixing.
“Hey,” he said, smiling across the room at her. “We’re making French toast. Interested?”
“He said no ice cream for breakfast.” Marley pouted as she cracked an egg into the bowl.
Tara offered her daughter a smile but shook her head. “Actually, I need to speak to your daddy for a minute.”
Sam’s eyes snapped to hers, but his own smile didn’t diminish. How could this look so right, so painstakingly familiar, yet every bit of this morning be so devastatingly wrong? She couldn’t handle him in their kitchen, like this was old times, let alone stay for...however long he’d intended. His suitcase had been crammed full. They’d bought the house together when they’d married, but he’d given it to her in the divorce. Still, this was their space and memories flooded her now that he was back.
Sam grabbed a dish towel and wiped his hands as he circled the island. “Just crack the eggs and I’ll be right back so we can start dipping the bread.”
Marley began humming as she cracked another egg. Tara pulled in a deep breath, telling herself not to explode because yelling or getting upset would get them nowhere. Still, she had to make Sam understand he simply couldn’t stay. She had to remain firm on this for her sanity. Falling into their pattern of her enabling his actions would only lead to disaster and leave her where she’d crawled her way out of.
But she was still enabling, wasn’t she? Just like she’d covered for him when he’d been using. Pretenses...they were an ugly thing to try to keep up.
Tara went up the stairs and into the bedroom, well aware he was directly behind her.
“What the hell is this?” she asked, pointing to the bed.
With a casual shrug, he crossed his arms over his massive chest. “My suitcase.”
She willed herself to find patience. “Why is it on my bed?”
Casual as you please, Sam leaned against the door frame. “I’m staying.”
“No, you’re not.”
He couldn’t. She’d barely gotten used to this house without him. Having him here would be too cruel and dealing with Marley on top of that...she simply didn’t think she could handle all the emotions at once.
The irony that she counseled people yet couldn’t even get her own life in order was not lost on her.
Sam pushed off the frame and took one slow step at a time until he’d closed the space between them. Tara concentrated on her breathing; it was better than focusing on those gray eyes that seemed to look right into her soul.
“The doctor said Marley lost the last year of her life,” he reminded her in a low tone that had Tara shivering. “He said to make her life stress-free and as normal as possible. In her mind, we’re married and we all live here. Do you want to explain to her why I don’t? She doesn’t know about the separation.”
Tara gritted her teeth as she sank onto the bed next to the threatening suitcase. She hadn’t thought of that part. She’d been too worried about how to help Marley remember to even think about the time frame her mind was trapped in. And perhaps she’d selfishly feared how she’d ever let Sam back into her home, into her bed, without losing her mind or her heart all over again.
Sam squatted in front of her, placing his hands on her knees. Tara tried to shift, but he held firm.
He hadn’t touched her, not like this, in well over a year. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t missed those strong hands on her. How could she be torn in so many different directions and still keep pushing forward through life? She had no idea what she was doing and how she was holding things together.
“This isn’t about us right now,” he told her. “As much as I want to make everything up to you and make you see that I’m a different man, this is about Marley. She needs her mom and dad, and I will not fail her or you ever again.”
Tears burned Tara’s eyes. She wished like hell he meant those words, but she’d heard them before. Over and over he’d promised he wouldn’t fail her...but he always did.
“You can’t live here,” she whispered through the emotions.
Sam rose to stand above her, forcing her to tip her head up to meet his gaze. He propped his hands on his hips; the muscle in his jaw clenched.
“We’re going to be married and living together like one big happy family for Marley’s sake. So I’m not only living here,” he informed her. “We’re sleeping in the same bed.”
“Where’s Daisy?”
Marley’s question broke through the awkward tension filling the kitchen. Breakfast had been mostly Marley chattering and Sam and Tara dancing around each other without speaking.
Now Tara rinsed off the dishes and sat them on the counter for Sam to put into the dishwasher.
“When you had your accident, Daisy had to go to the boarder.”
The lie slid out of Sam’s mouth and sounded so convincing. Tara couldn’t help but wonder how easily he’d lied to her in the past and if he ever truly felt guilty about deceiving. But, for now, Tara didn’t want to break her daughter’s heart, so she was going to go along with Sam and see how things went. Every day, every moment, would be playing things by ear.
“When can we go get her?”
“We’ll see, honey,” Tara chimed in. She set another glass on the counter. “Let’s focus on you healing, okay?”
Still seated at the table, Marley propped her chin on her hand. “What’s wrong with me? My head hurts.”
The swollen red knot on her forehead near her hairline was a constant visual reminder of how quickly their lives had changed. Tara couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to her daughter. Hadn’t their family been through enough? There was only so long she could be strong and she truly feared she was edging closer to her breaking point.
Tara threw a glance to Sam, but his attention and concern were directed at Marley.
“We don’t want you to worry, but you do deserve the truth,” he said. “Let’s go into the living room and talk. Okay?”
Without waiting for a response, Sam scooped Marley up and airplaned her along the narrow hallway. Tara followed them in time to see him safely land her on the oversized sofa like he had countless times before. Usually for movie or game night, but that was just another bond those two shared. Between the cooking and the random bursts of flying, Sam and Marley were absolutely made for each other.
No matter what happened between Sam and Tara, nothing would change how close those two were.
Would her heart keep lurching at these familiar acts? No matter what, Marley’s recovery had to take top priority. Pushing nostalgia aside was the only way she’d ever make it through the days of Sam staying here again.
Tara’s cell vibrated in her pocket. She slid it out and saw Lucy’s text to the group with Lucy, Kate and Tara. Tara would answer her friends later.
Lucy and Kate were closer to Tara than any sisters could be. Together, the three volunteered at and ran a grief counseling center a few evenings a month. Each of them had suffered her own loss in one form or another, but recently her friends had each found their much-deserved happily-ever-after. Lucy and Kate were happier than Tara had seen them in years.
Lucy had met Noah Spencer when he came into town to take a position at the police department. When Lucy met Emma, his little