Linus could’ve done without all the buzz on the latest athlete, actor or musician she’d been seen on the town with. Still, when the odd occasion arose where they wound up at the same event, he managed to make himself scarce. He made himself scarce when what he really wanted was to rip out the intestines of the latest idiot who thought to claim what was his. What used to be his, he reminded himself.
Such torture, however, didn’t stop him from tuning in for the gossip. The celebrity involvements rarely lasted beyond a date or two. When she’d been caught out with someone he didn’t recognize and those outings numbered beyond four...those were the times his heart seized in his chest. Those were the times he feared she was lost to him for good.
The fact that she wasn’t lost to him for good gave him hope. Seeing her on that beach, though...witnessing the sheen of tears in her eyes not spilled...
He’d hurt her in the past, badly. Regardless of how much he assured himself that all wasn’t hopeless between them now, there was no going forward until he told her why. He’d lost it that night, demolished the place that was meant to signify a defining moment in their futures. It was the place he’d planned to ask her to be his wife.
Linus sensed a numbness along his forearm and saw that his drawn fist was to blame. He had long since triumphed over the anger—the rage—that had ruled him. There were times, however, when he believed he hadn’t triumphed at all—that the demons had only lain in wait for the perfect thing to destroy.
It had been that way when he’d found Paula. He’d gone years without an episode, even joined his best friends on a completely bold venture to revamp an already successful and revered company. Linus had been the outspoken visionary behind Joss Construction when he met the ambitious new lawyer with future designs on turning the Philly political scene on its ear by becoming the city’s first black female DA.
Life had been good then, and their chemistry had been explosive. Now, Linus’s appetite for women had little to do with conquests and more to do with hope. It was the hope that a woman out there could make him forget Paula Starker. He didn’t think such a woman existed. Their emotions had delved far beneath the shallow physical allure to collide with something far more powerful. The surface attraction, however, had done a total number on him. The confident lawyer with the nonstop curves had had him cold.
Linus had wanted Paula in the most desperate way, but he’d wanted more than the delights her body promised. He’d sensed a kinship—a connection of the spirit that surpassed the physical—and he had wanted to see where things could go between them. Such was not to be, and the blame for that rested right at his feet. He wanted—needed—to make it right. More than that, he wanted her back, wanted her to be his, the way she always should’ve been. His and his alone.
But what of the demons? The demons had waited ever so patiently to unleash their havoc-wreaking frenzy until he had been literally days away from securing a future with Paula. Giving her an explanation for that night and then just walking away wasn’t an option for him. Neither was hurting her again.
Besides that, giving her an explanation—the one she deserved—meant revisiting a place he had sworn he was done with. A place that made him feel like nothing more than the scared kid he’d been instead of the accomplished man he’d become.
There was a sound on his office door that barely passed for a knock. Linus turned to see his partners hovering just past the threshold. Their wary expressions brought a much-needed smile to his face. Despite the smile, he had to wave them in before they moved any farther beyond the doorway.
“Este says you’ve been in here all afternoon.” Tig referred to Linus’s assistant, Estella Mays.
“Yeah,” was Linus’s only confirmation.
Tig looked helplessly to Eli, and both men appeared to be holding out little hope that their friend’s mood had improved.
“So how’d the rest of the meeting go?”
Linus’s query seemed to be the olive branch Tig and Eli needed. Noticeably more comfortable, they moved a little farther into the office.
“All went well. Everything seems in order,” Tig said.
“Any pop in here, Line?” Eli asked on his way to the mini fridge.
“Yeah, help yourself.”
Eli gave a nod and sent Tig a sly look across his shoulder.
“So it looks like Maxton’s cool with us taking as much time as we need at the villa.” Tig moved into the roomy living area that occupied over a third of the office space.
“Sounds good,” Linus said, joining him.
“Me and E were thinkin’, since we’ve got so much work to do with going over the rest of the proposals, it might be a good idea to just keep this strictly a business trip.”
“Right.” Linus settled into his preferred recliner. The smile curving his mouth gave away the fact that he was all too aware what had prompted the change in plans. Still, he pretended to be confused. “What about playtime with playthings?”
Tig cast aside the idea with a wave. “Sophie’s already taken three weeks of her eight-week leave. Best to save the rest for when we come up with our master getaway to pay back Rook and Veev for Mexico.”
“Mmm-hmm, and what about Clarissa?” Linus asked Eli, who was on his way to the living room with three bottles of soda in tow.
Eli smiled at the mention of his girlfriend, Clarissa David. “She’s already feeling guilty for leaving Ray with so much of the workload—first the getaway to Cortina and then Mexico for Tig and Sophie’s wedding. She’s trying to get the woman to take some time for herself.” Eli referred to Rayelle Keats. In addition to being Clarissa’s best friend, Ray served as general manager for her late aunt’s franchise of gentleman’s clubs that were transitioning into dance studios.
“Trust us, it won’t be all work,” Tig said. “We’ll take Rook and Bark along. Since Rook’s new job keeps him up to his ears in snow for most of the year and if the weather guys get it right, we’ll be getting our fill of it in a few weeks, so I don’t think it’ll be hard to convince Barker. We could make it a guys’ getaway—hell, we’re entitled to those, same as the girls,” he added.
“Sure we are.” Linus gave a half shrug. “Thing is, guys’ getaways are a lot more fun when girls participate. No offence, but Rook and Bark aren’t exactly the playmates who’d put that fun in motion.”
“Yeah, well, it wouldn’t be much fun if everybody didn’t have a playmate,” Tig observed.
Linus grinned, the gesture sparking his faint dimple. “You know, I won’t have trouble finding one of those to bring along.”
“Mmm, but not the one you want.” Eli held his bottle poised for drinking while regarding his friend with quiet amusement. “Who is she?” he asked.
Linus’s grin remained, but the gesture appeared just a tad forced. “Do you really need me to talk about my list of conquests now?”
“No. Just the one who’s got you in this mood.”
The grin vanished. In its place was a series of muscle twitches along the jawline. Linus left his recliner and began to pace the living area.
“We don’t mean to pry, man.” Tig winced. “If you don’t want to talk—”
“It’s okay.” Linus shook his head. “I should’ve told you guys about her a long time ago.”
“Girl from your past?” Tig guessed.
“Way past,” Linus confirmed.
“We know her?” Eli asked.
“Yeah.” Linus turned