But no matter the reason, he was grateful. He and Kate had been all about the physical in their months together. Being with her without that set him off-center, left him uncertain how to act and what to say.
Not that they had been in it only for the sex. He had liked hanging out with her. He still did. They had been able to laugh and understand each other in a way that had surprised him, given how little they had in common. There had been a lot more between them than just fun in the sack, and if circumstances had been different and he didn’t have the history he did, he could have easily seen them building something long-term.
But he was who he was, and life was what it was. And if he had to be an idiot over something, well, there were far worse things than the feel of Kate’s hand in his.
Like the almost-visible clouds of steam coming off her head.
“I can’t believe that she...argh!” Kate shook her hand loose, much to his dismay, and jerked at the zippers on the front of Jamie’s pack. “There are times when I could cheerfully toss my mother in the river.”
“I don’t have a lot of experience, but I think your mom was just doing what good mothers are supposed to do. You know.” He grinned at her and thought of every TV mom he’d ever seen. “Defend her kid.”
“I know. I get that. And honestly, truthfully, I know it’s because she loves me and wants the best for me and Allie and Jamie, and that she wants me to have an easier life than she had. But still.” She tugged at the second zipper. “She refuses to believe that there’s a world of difference between her situation and mine, and... Damn, why isn’t this thing unfastening?”
Boone squinted at the offending zipper, then bent for a closer look. “I think there’s a piece of cloth caught in it. Let me...” He reached forward gingerly. Jamie was such a squirmer that Boone wasn’t sure he could fix this without making it worse.
Which was kind of the story of his life, but right now he needed focus, not a trip down memory lane.
He held his breath and pulled at the fabric. “Yeah, that’s the problem. The pant leg got caught. Give me a second...” He worked the zipper while pulling gently on the gray corduroy. “Here we go...almost got it...”
The zipper gave way. The hand holding the fabric jerked up. And for one moment, his fingers slid off the pack and onto a part of Kate’s anatomy where they had no business going anymore.
He wasn’t sure which one of them stepped back first. Maybe they did it together. All he knew was that her cheeks were red and her eyes were wide and his hand was a lot happier than it had been in almost a year.
“Well. Thank you.” She sounded more than a little flustered, which made two of them. “So. Right. I’m sorry about Mom.” She lifted Jamie out of the pack and headed through the kitchen into the office.
Kate continued speaking as she set Jamie on the changing table. “I would tell you that you don’t have to join us, but she would probably drive over here and drag you there by the ear.”
“So you’re saying I should just resign myself to a night of misery?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“What did you mean when you said that your situation is different from hers?”
“Oh. Well.” Kate reached for a fresh diaper and flipped open the box of wipes, all while keeping one hand on a squirming tummy. Once again, Boone marveled at the way she handled everything so easily. So...gracefully. “I told you that my biological father was never in the picture, right?”
“Right.”
“Well, I didn’t tell you the whole story. All Mom ever said when I was growing up was that my bio father was a summer guy, and that she didn’t know how to get hold of him when she found out she was pregnant. It was one of those things you just accept, right? Because why wouldn’t your mother tell you the truth about something as basic as your father?”
Having grown up knowing that anything his mother said was more likely a lie than the truth, Boone stayed silent.
“But after Neil—my stepfather—after he died, I started to think more about it. I was almost thirteen then, and I knew things weren’t adding up. So I started bugging her.” She shot him a quick grin that had him remembering a whole lot of mischief. “Let me tell you, Mom had cause to regret all those lectures about standing my ground and never letting up when I wanted something.”
Oh, to have been a fly on that wall.
“She finally caved and told me a little bit about him. Not much. Just his name, and that his parents had absolutely not approved of her. It was the classic story—rich boy getting ready to go to university, not-rich girl who spent her summers cleaning rooms at her parents’ motel, a hot and heavy summer romance. She didn’t find out she was pregnant until he was gone.” Kate’s voice faltered. “And then, she said, she spent a couple of months in denial, hoping that...that something would happen so she wouldn’t have to make any decisions.”
Boone spared a moment of sympathy for the scared kid Maggie must have been.
“Anyway, the whole romance had been such a secret that Nana and Poppy didn’t know about it. Well, she said they had suspicions, but nothing definite. And by the time she knew she had to tell them, Mom had made up her mind that she wasn’t going to let anyone know the truth. My father’s family lived near Windsor. He was going to school in London.”
“Which London?”
“The Ontario one.” Kate dropped wipes into the trash. “Mom said she knew that if she named him, she could get child support, but she would also have to share me. And, her being the stubborn type—”
Boone coughed.
“Quiet. She said she didn’t want me spending extended periods of time with any of them. She thought he was the only decent one in the whole family.” She lifted Jamie and nuzzled his stomach, then nodded toward the rocking chair in front of the fireplace. “Sit. You’re going to hold him again.”
He noticed she didn’t bother asking.
He also noticed that she had chosen a well-padded place for him to try again. Definitely a woman who knew how to adapt to her audience.
He lowered himself into the chair and waited. Kate came close and burst out laughing.
“You look like you’re waiting for me to draw blood or something!”
“That good, eh?” Maybe if he distracted himself, kept her talking, it would get him through this. Not so distracted that he wouldn’t be able to keep his focus on what he was doing. Just enough to take the edge off his nerves.
He breathed in, held out his hands and waited. “So, what happened?”
“What happened when?” She lowered Jamie onto his lap. Boone held his breath and slowly closed his hands around his son’s warmth. For a second he couldn’t think of anything but the placement of his hands and the distance to the floor and the odds of Kate staying precisely where she was, crouching in front of him.
Purely because he wanted her there to catch Jamie if anything happened, of course.
Talk, Boone. You can do this.
“What, uh, happened with your father?” Boone risked a fast glance toward Kate. Her face could have been carved from stone. Because of him holding Jamie? Or because...
“Nothing.”
The part of Boone that wasn’t actively trying to slow his heart rate and relax into the feel of Jamie on his lap was pretty sure Kate was hiding something.
“What do you mean, nothing?”
“That’s