That was also typical Max, she thought. She’d counted no less than three near-death experiences, but he brushed over all of that like they were just facts in some other person’s story. As if none of it touched him.
“And when you got back to Iceland?”
“It was difficult. I wasn’t...used to people. It took me time to assimilate again. Eventually, I made my way to the U.S. consulate. Told them who I was and what happened. They reached out to the university to tell them I was alive. I kept trying to call my parents... It wasn’t until I got to the States that I learned what happened. Someone from the university met me at the airport. Told me about the accident. Told me what you had done for them. Now here I am.”
“Here you are,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. For your loss of them. They were such good people. You should know that after you...after you were declared dead I spent time with them. The three of us were together. We all sort of overlooked the fact that I had been in the process of divorcing you.”
“I didn’t think you would do it,” he said quietly. “I never thought you would really leave me.”
“I know.”
Max leaned forward, his hands loosely linked together. “I’m sorry I left, Nor. God I’m so sorry.”
“Not sorry enough that you didn’t turn around and get back on another ship.”
She watched him wince. As if she’d slapped him. She hadn’t meant to cause him pain. Or had she? When the four months passed, she’d been determined to resist every effort he would make to win her back. Positive in the knowledge that he would have taken the first plane he could to be by her side.
That he hadn’t even bothered to try winning her back had been crushing in its own way.
“I had a plan,” he said roughly.
“You always had a plan, Max. It just didn’t include me.”
“You’re wrong.”
Eleanor sighed. “It really doesn’t matter. It’s all in the past now. What’s important is what we do moving forward.”
“I agree.” He nodded. Then he reached for the bourbon and took a healthy slug.
“So, I’ll talk to my attorney when I get to Denver. I’m sure the papers are still on file somewhere. She should be able to just pull up the file. There was no property. I had saved some of your old books and things. I had given them to your parents after... But when I settled the estate, I donated anything I could to the local library. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I was dead.”
“And I gave all your clothes to Goodwill. Sorry again.”
He laughed. “Again, don’t be. I lost about twenty pounds, and I haven’t been able to put it back on. I’ll need new ones anyway.”
Eleanor could see that. Max was tall at six-two, but two plus years ago he’d been broader in the chest and stomach. Now he looked leaner but still just as strong. Like a man who had been doing physical labor on a fishing boat for the past few months. Rather than just gathering data.
She didn’t want to think about how he looked, though. The changes to his body underneath the clothes.
Yes, a naked Max should be the last thing on her mind.
Eleanor swallowed. “In addition to the divorce papers, I can have my attorney draft a letter that will transfer the trust fund I set up with the residuals from your parents’ estate to you. Also I’ll need to deed over the cabin to you.”
That had his eyes perking up. “You kept the cabin?”
“I...I couldn’t let it go.”
He liked that. She could tell by the expression on his face. As though it was important to him that she couldn’t let it go.
That cabin was where they had spent their honeymoon and handful of other times when they had just wanted to get away. The cabin was a place filled with memories of making love for hours on end. With no thought or care in the world but each other.
Mentally, Eleanor had to push those memories away, as well.
“I’m glad. I would have been sad to have lost that, too.”
She couldn’t be sorry, then, that she saved it. He’d lost more than two years of his life, and, in that time, he’d lost almost everything else. His parents, the house where he’d grown up, all of his things...her.
“It’s getting late. Most folks will start to clear out soon. That couch you’re sitting on pulls out. You can sleep here tonight.”
“Not going to kick me out like you did Danny boy?”
“His name is Daniel, and I didn’t kick him out. He had a room at the B and B in town. You know Mom’s rules.”
“No ring, no bed. Why do you think I needed to marry you so quickly?”
She tried to smile. She really did. But all she could feel right now was sadness. The shock of seeing him again was starting to wear off, and all the old feelings she’d had when she left him were still there.
“Good night, Max.”
He stood and walked over to her. She noticed he had a slight limp. A broken femur in the middle of the frozen Norwegian Sea. On a life raft with two people who were already dead. She couldn’t imagine what he’d suffered. Couldn’t let herself think about how it made her feel to know that he was out there on the ocean alone.
“I think I’ve left you with a misconception. You said that just because I’m back doesn’t change anything between us, and I agreed.”
“Yes. So?”
“When I said nothing’s changed between us, I meant it. I loved you when you left, and you loved me. As far as I’m concerned nothing has changed.”
“Max...”
“Nor, I screwed up. I know that now and I’ve had more than two hard years to think of what I had done. But I’m back now, and I’m never going to leave you again.”
Eleanor shook her head. This was what she’d been afraid of when the four months had passed, and he came back from his expedition to find her gone. That he wouldn’t simply accept that she had left him. That she wanted a divorce. That he would fight for her.
She remembered thinking she would need to be as strong as she had ever been in order to resist him. Because he was right. She had still loved him when she left him.
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s the truth. I’m never setting foot on a ship again.”
“That’s obviously a natural fear you have right now. But in time that will heal and you’ll—”
He grasped her around her upper arms and gave her a small shake. “Nor, look at me. I’m not getting on a ship again because I’m afraid of the water. That’s not the reason. I’m not getting on a ship again because I’m not leaving you. Ever. I cost us years of our life together. I know that. So, I’m not wasting another second of it. I was prepared, if I came back here to find you happily married with two kids and a dog, that I would have to accept it and let you go. But a couple dates with Danny boy? No way. I’m fighting.”
“This is pointless, Max. It’s been too long. Surely you don’t think I can still be in love with you after all these years?”
He stared into her eyes, but, honestly, she had no idea what he would find there.
“Then I guess I’ll have to