Whenever she was in Walmart, she couldn’t resist strolling to the baby section. It was gut-wrenching, but cathartic in a way for her loss of her little girl. One day, maybe, she could stop reliving the painful memories.
“I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?” Phoenix asked.
His strong tones brought her back to the present and the embarrassing situation. “No.” She made to walk off because she had nothing else to say to him.
“Hey.”
Against her better judgment, she looked back. “Am I taking up too much space?”
“I deserve that.” The corners of his mouth lifted in a cockamamy grin, which she was sure worked wonders on the opposite sex. To her dismay it was working on her, too.
She’d never seen a more handsome cowboy than Phoenix, and she hated that she noticed. In tight Wranglers, boots and a plaid shirt, he was every girl’s dream. The strong, carved facial bones that showcased a perpetual smile only added to the masculine mix. As did the Stetson and the riot of dark hair that always peeped out from under it.
“I’m really sorry for being rude in Oklahoma. I was having a very bad day.”
The apology put a dent in her already shaky composure. Walk away. Walk away. The words kept running through her mind, but her feet wouldn’t move as she stared into his dark eyes. Dark, warm, smiling eyes.
“I’m looking for a baby bed, and I could really use some help. Are you up for the job?” He tilted his head slightly, and the teasing light in his eyes did a number on her control.
Again, against her better judgment, she asked, “Why would you need a baby bed?”
“Well, you see, I just found out I’m a father.”
“Oh.” His honesty threw her, and her curiosity spiked. “And you get to be a weekend father?”
“No. Full-time.”
“You’re getting custody of a baby?”
The light in his eyes turned up a notch. “Yeah. Go figure.”
She gave up trying to make herself leave. He needed help with baby stuff, and there was nothing she would love more. It would hurt. But she just loved the punishment, she supposed.
“Girl or boy?”
“Boy.” He gave a thumbs-up sign.
“You must be excited.” At that, her guard went down so far she could no longer see it.
Suddenly a look of resignation crossed his face. “I would be lying if I said I was excited out of my mind. It’s been a shock and I’m trying to adjust. He’s twenty-five months old.”
She could have said a lot of petty things about the cowboys and the buckle bunnies around the rodeo, but she saw the hurt in his eyes. “Is the mother out of the picture?”
“Yeah. She left the boy with her grandmother and the grandmother has passed away. CPS tracked down the father, which happens to be me.”
Rosie didn’t know what else to say. It had to have been a big shock, and he seemed to be taking it well. She glanced at the row of baby beds. “If he’s twenty-five months old, you probably need something you can convert into a toddler bed.” She pointed to a box that had a picture on it. “See, there’s one. It goes from baby to toddler.”
“That looks perfect.”
She walked over to several boxes. “There are different colors. Maybe dark chocolate or warm honey. Which do you prefer?”
“Warm honey. Every time.”
She ignored the hidden reference to her in his voice. But it made her very aware of her attire: sweatpants, flip-flops and an old T-shirt. Her long hair was loose, and she brushed it away from her face in a nervous gesture. “They...they’ll probably have to load this into your truck, so it probably would be best to just take a picture with your phone and show them at checkout.”
“Now, see, that’s why women are best at this. They cover all the angles.” He took a quick photo and then looked at something on the phone. “I have to get a car seat, and she gave me the brand name.”
“She?”
“The CPS worker.”
“Oh. And you’ll need sheets, too.”
He looked at his phone again. “She didn’t say anything about sheets.”
Men! “Are you going to let him sleep on the bare mattress?”
That smile was back in place and it was lethal. “Okay, sheets it is.”
“They’re in the next aisle.” He followed her around the corner with his cart. They looked like a normal couple out shopping early in the morning. But they would never be a couple. “Here they are.” She squatted to glance through them. “There are ones with duckies, horses, dogs and...”
“Horses.”
“And cartoon characters...”
“Horses.”
“Oh, look at these John Deere ones.”
“Horses.”
“And there are solid colors...” She held up her hand before he could say the word. “I know—horses.”
“Well, he’s my kid and I like horses so he’ll like horses.”
She pulled three sets off the shelf. “You are in for a what-have-I-gotten-myself-into moment.” She stood and handed him the sheets.
Placing them in the cart, he asked, “Why do I need so many?”
“Think, cowboy. It’s a baby and babies pee. A lot. So you need extras in case of an accident.”
He reached down and grabbed two more.
After that, he followed her around the store and listed off everything on his phone. His cart was stacked high with diapers. There wasn’t room for one more thing. Actually he couldn’t even see over it.
And then they were in the toy section because he wanted to get a toy for the baby. As she walked by all the baby dolls her throat closed. It had been almost nine years and still the pain was as raw and new as the day they’d told her that her baby was dead. She stopped and stared at a doll with reddish-blond hair and couldn’t look away. She was trying not to remember. Not to feel. Not to act like a complete fool.
“I don’t think he’ll like that.” Phoenix’s words brought her out of her trance. She didn’t quite make it on the fool part because she felt sure he thought she was crazy.
“Boys play with dolls.” She tried to cover up the embarrassing moment.
“Not my boy.”
“Oh, please. Don’t tell me you’re going to be one of those fathers.”
He walked past her to the boy section, ignoring her words. “Now we’re talking.” He picked up a truck and trailer with horses. “My kid will love this.”
“You know, you’re under the impression this little boy is going to be just like you. Sometimes it doesn’t turn out that way. I’m not an expert, but I’m right on this.”
He didn’t fire any heated words back at her. He just stared down at the truck and trailer in his hands. “Yeah. I know nothing about the kid, but I hope I find a part of me in him.”
“You haven’t