“Yes. Seattle area. Bellevue, actually. It’s a suburb,” he said. He’d never wanted to live anywhere else growing up. He loved the mountains and his waterfront property, but after Lucy...well, he’d been struggling to make Bellevue feel like home again.
“I’ve heard of it. I think Bill Gates lives there.”
“We’re not neighbors,” Will said with a laugh.
She shook her head and laughed. “I’ll jot that down. You ready for a ride back or you want to see some more?”
“What’s left to see?”
She rocked back in her saddle, shifting to extend her arm. “Out that way is the south pasture—there’s a creek that runs through it. Down that way is the—”
“Let me guess—north pasture.”
“Ha. I was going to say castration shed. We do that in the spring,” she said.
He shook his head. “I’ll skip that.”
“Guys always say that.”
She was teasing him and he observed that her entire countenance had changed. Her relaxed smile made him realize how full and lush her mouth was, and the way she tipped her head to the side, waiting for his response, made him want to do something impulsive.
Like lean over and kiss her.
He slammed the door on that idea and sat back in his saddle to be a little farther away from her. There was just something about her easy smile and the wind stirring around them. And he was on horseback in Texas, so far away from his normal world, that he wanted to pretend he was someone different. A man who wasn’t so tired from not sleeping and hoping he was making the right choices all the time.
He knew that nothing would come of kissing Amberley. He wasn’t here to hook up. He was here to do a job. Besides that, he wasn’t ready for anything else. He knew that. But for a moment, he wished he were.
“Back to the ranch.”
She didn’t move, but just stared at him—there was a closed expression on her face now. “Sorry, sir, didn’t mean to be inappropriate. Follow me. You want to run back or walk?”
“Amberley—”
“I was out of line. I guess I forgot you were a guest for a second.”
“Who did you think I was?” he asked.
“Just a guy,” she said, turning her horse and making a clicking sound. Then she took off back the way they’d come.
* * *
He galloped after her and reached over to take her reins, drawing both of their rides to a stop.
She took back her reins and gave him a good hard glare. “Don’t do that again.”
“Well, I couldn’t figure out another way to stop you,” he yelled. He wasn’t sure what he’d stepped into, but he could tell something had changed and he was pretty damn sure he was the cause.
“Why would you want to?” she asked. “I’m pretty sure you want to get back to the ranch and I’m taking you there.”
“Don’t act that way,” he said. “I’m sorry. My life is complicated.”
She nodded and then looked away. “Everyone’s life is complicated. We’re not simple hicks out here on the ranch.”
He hadn’t meant to hurt or offend her.
And all of a sudden he felt ancient. Not twenty-eight. Not like a new father should feel, but like Methuselah. And he hated that. He’d always been...a different man. His father had said he was lucky and someday his luck would wear thin. But he knew his father wouldn’t rejoice in the way his luck had run out. Losing Lucy had changed him, and some people would say not for the better.
“I’m sorry,” he said. The words sounded rusty and forced but they weren’t. She didn’t deserve to be treated the way he’d treated her, because he wanted her and he knew he wasn’t going to do anything about it. He wasn’t about to invite another person into the chaos that his life was right now.
“What for?”
“That sounded...jerky, didn’t it? Like I’m trying to imply that your life isn’t complicated,” he said. “That’s not at all what I meant. I just meant I’m a mess and this ride was nice and you are wonderful...”
He trailed off. What else could he say? He thought she was cute. Maybe he’d like to kiss her, if he wasn’t so stuck in that morass of guilt and grief. And then more guilt because his grief was starting to wane. And it’s not like Lucy would have expected him to grieve forever, but moving on was like saying goodbye again.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” she said.
“What?”
“Saying I’m wonderful. I mean, I have faults like everyone else,” she said. Her words were light and obviously meant to give him a way back from the dark place he’d wondered into. But in her eyes he saw weariness and he knew that she wasn’t as...well, undamaged as he had believed she was.
“You seem like it from here,” he said at last.
“Then I better keep up the illusion.”
But now that she’d brought it up he was trying to see what there was to the young horsewoman. She seemed uncomplicated. He thought about how when he was her age, life had been pretty damned sweet.
“Tell me,” he prompted.
“Tell you what?” she asked.
“Something that isn’t wonderful about you,” he said.
“Ah, well, I think that would be easy enough. I have a short temper. I believe I gave you a glimpse of that a moment ago.”
“You sure did,” he said with a laugh. “But that could also be called spunk. I like feisty women.”
“You do?” she asked, then shook her head. “What about you? What’s one of your faults?”
“Hell, I’m not even sure where to begin,” he said. And he knew that he didn’t want to open that can of worms. His life was littered with regrets lately. Only spending time with Faye or sitting in the dark working on the computer tracking down code seemed to get him out of his own head space.
“I’m not as clever as I once believed I was.”
She started laughing. “Well, I think that’s the same for all of us. Race you back to the barn?”
“Sure, but since I haven’t ridden in a while I think I deserve a handicap.”
“Really?” she asked. “That is such a load of crap. If I hadn’t seen you ride out here I might have fallen for it.”
“It was worth a try,” he said.
The fall breeze blew, stirring the air, and a strand of her red hair slipped from her braid and brushed against her cheek. He leaned forward in his saddle and gripped the reins to keep from reaching out and touching her.
He’d just shoved a big wedge between them. A smart man would leave it in place. A smart man would remember that Amberley wasn’t a woman to mess with and he had never been the kind of man who screwed around with anyone.
But he didn’t feel smart.
He felt lonely and like it had been too long since he’d been able to breathe and not catch the faint scent of hospital disinfectant. He wanted to sit here until night fell and then maybe he’d think about heading back to the life he had. He wanted...
Something he wasn’t in a position to take.
He knew that.
“Hey, Will?”
He