“Why? Are you afraid I’ll be right?”
She was just a shadow in the tree, but he glared up at her anyway. He climbed carefully, feeling stupid the whole time. What thirty-one-year-old climbed trees besides Nicole? He’d been responsible for the farm and his brothers since he was eighteen. Even as he chastised himself for doing something so foolish, after staying inside the lines for so long, it felt good to do something just because he wanted to and not because it needed to be done.
When he reached the platform, he pulled himself up the rest of the way with only a slight protest from his chest muscles. When he straightened, she held out a beer to him.
“I knew you’d make it,” she said and lowered herself to the planks of wood. She patted the spot next to her.
“There was more space up here when we were kids.” When they were fourteen, they hadn’t needed much space. Now there was just enough room for them to sit side by side with their shoulders touching.
At one point they’d known each other’s secrets and fears, but now they were little more than strangers. All he knew about her life now was what she’d told him. It was more of an outline than the complete picture. How much would she expect him to share? How much was he willing to share?
“Did you find a new best friend after I left?” Nicole took a drink of her beer and stared up into the canopy of leaves. The stars twinkled beyond the leaves. The moon didn’t overpower the stars, the way streetlights did.
“No.” There was no secret in that, just a fact. “I had a group of friends in high school but never got close to any of them.” Not as he’d been close to her. Because he lived out on the farm, it made it hard to connect with his friends, and with his chores, he didn’t always have time.
“Do you still see any of them?” Her voice was soft in the darkness, not quite a whisper, as if they were sharing secrets and not just talking about what happened between then and now.
“Every once in a while, someone comes to town to visit their folks or something.” The truth was, everyone moved away after graduation. It was rare to find anyone in Tawnee Valley between the ages of twenty and thirty who wasn’t married with kids.
“I tried my hardest to fit in at my new school,” Nicole said. “Mom insisted I start dressing like a girl since I wasn’t living on a farm anymore. I made a few friends, but I couldn’t tell them any secrets without someone spreading it around school. I certainly couldn’t make blood pacts or belch in front of them.” Nicole bumped his shoulder with hers.
“You were the one who wanted to do the blood thing.” He took a swig of beer. It had been a while since he’d drunk alcohol, probably since Brady’s wedding.
“Only because I saw it in a movie.” They sat quietly for a moment. “Do you think we would have stayed friends if I hadn’t moved?”
Sam took a deep breath and followed a shooting star across the sky. “Honestly? I don’t know. It wasn’t too long after you left that I started looking at girls differently.”
“Like they grew horns and tails?”
He smiled slightly. “You know what I mean.”
“Of course, but it’s much more fun to tease you.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Who knows what might have happened between us if I’d stayed?”
Would he have noticed her? As more than his friend? Would it have felt as awkward as it did now, or would they have fallen into it naturally?
She took his hand in hers and held it. “I wish I knew what to do now. I wish my future was laid out before me like yours always was.”
“Don’t wish that,” he said harshly. No one wished for his life. Not even him.
“You have the farm. I’m sure you’ll find someone who will make you an excellent farm wife, and you’ll have a passel of children to help raise your livestock.” She sighed. “I have an accounting degree but barely any work experience in forensic accounting. Finding another job is going to be confined to large cities. Once I start working, I won’t have the time to date. I’ll probably die alone, but independently wealthy because I didn’t have any time to spend any of my money. Maybe I’ll leave all my money to my cat. If I had a cat...”
“At least you have options.” He couldn’t give up his birthright, and unless he wanted to date the few eighteen-year-olds in town, he didn’t have options on the dating front. There was no way he could relate to someone over a decade younger than him with her future burning bright before her, confine her to the land that had been in his family for generations. His parents had trusted him to keep the tradition going. He couldn’t let them down, so he was bound to the land and cursed to be alone.
“Ugh, when did this become so serious?” She snuggled closer to him and pointed up through the branches. “What constellation is that?”
“What makes you think I know?” He tensed with her touch, but it felt nice to have someone trust him and not want to rehash the bad stuff. Someone he hadn’t let down. He relaxed and drank some beer, breathing in the cool night air.
“Please.” She snorted derisively. “You know everything.”
He didn’t know anything. All he could do was follow the path his parents laid out for him. Whether he wanted to or not. But right now, he could forget about his responsibilities for an hour and point out the stars to someone who could be his friend before she left him again.
Nicole swiped at her brow with a rag. The past few days had been beyond hot. She would have loved to go hide in the air-conditioned rooms of the house, but her family was all outside working. This afternoon they planned to go over and help Sam with his fields. She figured if she tagged along with them then and didn’t put in any work now, her brothers would tease her or leave her behind.
Since she left Tawnee Valley, she’d been set on a course clearly laid out before her. Get good grades to get into a good school. Meet a nice guy so she could settle down and have kids. Find a good job that would provide for the life she wanted. Live happily ever after. She’d followed the plan, and it’d backfired in her face.
Now she was back in Tawnee Valley with the guy she’d thought of so often since she’d moved away. She’d enjoyed talking with Sam. He didn’t have any expectations of her. With the exception of her little attraction to him, he was the perfect friend. He barely talked, but she’d always been told she talked enough for at least two people. She didn’t feel as if she needed to censor herself around him. To be honest, though, she didn’t know what she wanted from Sam.
Friendship, definitely. He’d been her rock, even though he hadn’t actually been there. In her mind, he’d become her diary, her confessional in the letters she’d never sent him.
She yanked a weed out of the ground and tossed it into the middle of the row.
More than friendship? That was the question. She really wasn’t in a good place, but she couldn’t sink much lower. She was at a crossroads in life. Jeremy dumping her hadn’t been as painful as it should have been. She’d spent seven years waiting for him. It was almost a relief when he broke it off. At least she finally knew how he felt.
Losing her job had hurt more. She’d never been let go before. She’d done a good job, shown up to work on time. Never questioned her boss or the extra work. Always tried to be a team player. How was she supposed to know that the company would downsize?
When she found a new job, wherever it ended up being, she would move there. It wasn’t as if Tawnee Valley or the surrounding community had a job opening for a forensic accountant. The big-city accounting firms and possibly the FBI were her best bets. In the past couple of days, she’d started her search and