Anita flipped up the spout on her travel mug and took a long gulp of tea. She kept waiting for Melissa to say something in that composed, even voice of hers but the silence continued, stretching out between them. They crossed an intersection and walked half a block.
Finally she risked a glance.
Good Lord, she thought. Her sister’s face had gone pale. All the blood had drained out, giving her a deathly look. She was really upset. It was even worse than Anita had expected.
“Mel?” Anita asked.
Her sister cleared her throat. “Um, this is a surprise,” she said. Her voice sounded funny.
“I know, but it just happened.”
“It…wasn’t a planned pregnancy, you mean?”
“No, it wasn’t.” Anita heard the defensive edge in her voice, but she couldn’t help it. Cripes. She wished this didn’t have to be such a huge, awful, upsetting thing. She wanted it to be no big deal—if not a wonderful, joyous, exciting thing…
“And Troy is the father?” Melissa asked.
She crossed her arms. “Of course he is. I’m only a few weeks pregnant.”
“I’m sorry,” Melissa said. “I didn’t mean to insult you. I just wanted to be sure I understood.”
“Well, you can be sure.” She sounded petulant. Stupid to let herself get like this, she thought. Hadn’t she wanted to convince Melissa she could be a mature adult? “Look,” she said, sighing, “I didn’t mean to say it like that. But I’m positive Troy’s the father. I haven’t been with anyone else since early spring.”
“I see.” Melissa stared down at her insulated mug, still sealed shut. “How does he feel about it?”
“Very good, actually. He’s happy. So am I, for that matter.” And I wish you were, too, she thought. Jeez, Melissa, why can’t you just be happy for me?
“What are your plans?” Melissa asked.
“Well, I’m not having an abortion, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Are the two of you going to get married?”
“I don’t know. Maybe, but later. I don’t want to have a hasty wedding just because I’m pregnant.”
Melissa didn’t reply. She took a sip of tea, her movements a bit too precise as she opened the spout and raised it to her lips. “Mmm,” she said. “This is good.”
“Thanks. It’s my own recipe. Helps with the morning sickness.”
“You—have morning sickness?”
“Yes. Doesn’t everyone? At least the first trimester, I mean?”
Melissa paused, her expression unreadable. “Actually, no.”
“Oh.” Anita shrugged. “Well, I’m one of the lucky ones, I guess.”
“They say it helps to eat several small meals. And to take your time getting out of bed in the morning.”
“Okay, I’ll try that. Someone also suggested those wrist bands for motion sickness.”
“I’ve heard that, too.”
Why on earth, Anita thought, were they talking about something as unimportant as morning sickness right now? Especially when Melissa still looked as if she’d been attacked by a bloodsucking vampire.
How inane.
“You know,” Melissa said, “if you and Troy got married, that might be the best thing for the baby.”
And it would certainly be easier on Dad.
Of course she didn’t say it, but Anita heard the unspoken message. Though he didn’t attend church every Sunday, their father was still very Catholic. His beliefs remained traditional. It had been bad enough when Anita announced she was moving in with her boyfriend. For her to have a baby out of wedlock…
She inhaled deeply. “Look, I know it’s going to be hard for everyone to adjust to this. But I’m not ready to get married. In the long run I think it will be better for everyone, including the baby, if its parents don’t rush into a premature commitment.”
She braced herself to hear Melissa’s excruciatingly logical, well-measured, intelligent concerns. To hear her point out how poorly timed—how very premature—this pregnancy was. And, after all, if she and Troy were going to keep the child, to accept this sudden change in their lives and raise their son or daughter together, then why not go ahead and marry?
Anita knew she couldn’t explain why she felt the way she did. She wasn’t even sure she wouldn’t be ready to marry Troy before the baby came. She just knew she didn’t want to do it right now.
And she wasn’t going to do it just because society said she should.
Surprisingly, though, Melissa didn’t say a thing. Her face was still bloodless and pinched—attesting to her ongoing freak-out—but she made no attempts to reason with her.
Anita frowned. She’d also expected Melissa to ask how she’d gotten pregnant in the first place.
She’d dreaded that moment, dreaded the censure she would see in her sister’s eyes, because she and Troy hadn’t used contraception that night.
They’d been careless. They’d run out of condoms and forgotten to buy a new box, and they’d foolishly decided to take the risk.
But Melissa didn’t ask about that, either. She seemed, in fact, to have shifted to a different plane of reality. Her eyes had a glazed quality Anita had never seen before and she walked like an automaton.
“Jeez,” Anita said. “Are you okay?”
Melissa blinked and slowly focused on her.
“Hello? Is my sister in there?”
“I’m fine. Sorry, Anita. I’m just…I’m just…”
“You don’t seem fine.”
“No, probably not,” Melissa murmured. “All right, it isn’t true. I’m not fine. It’s just so complicated.”
“I know it is. But you have to trust me to work it all out—on my own. I can handle it, Sis. Please believe me.”
“You don’t understand.” Melissa shook her head. She stared straight ahead and when they reached another intersection she groped for the crosswalk button without looking at it.
“What is it that I don’t understand?”
“It’s not just because you’re pregnant. It’s more than that. Oh, Anita. I’m pregnant, too.”
CHAPTER FOUR
KYLE WALKED OVER to Melissa’s house shortly after six. They were supposed to go out for dinner before heading to Whitney’s dance performance.
Friday night and it looked like a date—why hadn’t he and Melissa ever acknowledged how much they acted like a couple?
Because we had such a platonic friendship, he thought.
The boundaries had seemed so clear. But now everything had gotten blurry. Like when he took out his contacts and he couldn’t find the edges of things.
Melissa wasn’t just his best friend anymore. She was the woman with whom he was having a baby. For the rest of their lives they would have that between them. They would always be the parents of the son or daughter they’d created together.
Their child.
Kyle hadn’t seen Melissa since Wednesday. He didn’t know what to expect tonight. More