“It was just a mistake. A terrible, horrible mistake.” For the third time since she had woken up, she repeated the words to herself, but she still didn’t want to touch the doorknob.
The look on Levi Zook’s face the night before made her cheeks burn. He had been amused by her shameful appearance, without her kapp or even stockings. Every time she looked at him she would remember those brown eyes and the laughing crinkles around them. She could kick herself for being so careless.
But how could she face him—how could she face the children after this?
She must. Somehow she must go back into the kitchen. She had heard Levi go out to do chores, so this was her chance to do her work without him around. By the time he got back from choring, the rest of the children would be awake and she wouldn’t have to face him alone.
Checking her kapp and smoothing her apron, she took a deep breath and then forced herself to open the door, pass through the short hall between the houses and walk into the kitchen. As she lit the kerosene lamp, she looked for the mess she had left behind when she fled the kitchen last night, but there was no sign of it. The sourdough sponge rested in its bowl under a clean towel, the counter was wiped clean and even the wooden spoon she had used was washed and put away.
She leaned her hands on the counter, ashamed and mortified. Levi had to have been the one to clean up after her. What must he think of her? Not only had she paraded in front of him dressed only in her nightgown, but she had also left her work for him to finish. She wouldn’t be surprised if he sent her back to Lancaster County that morning.
Never mind. Even if her first day was her last one, she had work to do. It was four-thirty already and the men would be hungry when they came in from choring.
Putting more wood in the stove, Ruthy turned the sourdough onto the bread board and started kneading it, adding flour as she worked. She went through the breakfast menu in her mind. What did this family eat? Eggs, potatoes and biscuits were what Mam would be fixing this morning, and Waneta had mentioned sausage last night. She’d make just that.
As she started the sausage frying, the children started showing up one by one and the predawn quiet was broken. Waneta and Martha said soft “good mornings” as they tied on their aprons, Martha throwing on a shawl to go out to the chickens.
“Dat likes oatmeal with breakfast. Did you start any?” Waneta asked as she started peeling potatoes with quick efficiency.
“Ach, ne, I didn’t, but it’s too late now. I should have started it last night.”
“Don’t worry. Dat bought this quick-cooking kind. It only takes one minute.”
Ruthy took the round box of instant oatmeal from the shelf and read the cooking directions. Only one minute? It would probably end up tasting like wallpaper paste. Real oats were going on her shopping list. She measured the oat flakes and water into a pan and set it on the hot stove.
When Martha returned with a pail full of eggs, Waneta started breaking them into a large bowl to scramble. Ruthy put the sausage patties on a plate in the oven to keep them warm and turned the peeled and sliced potatoes into the frying pan. Her stomach growled as the wet potatoes hit the hot grease with a burst of hearty fragrance.
“When Mam was here, we’d have pie for breakfast,” Martha said as she leaned toward the stove and inhaled the scent of the frying potatoes.
“Well, Mam isn’t here, is she?” Waneta grunted as she beat the eggs. She must have broken three dozen into the bowl. “I have enough to do without making pies, too.”
“I’d make them if I knew how,” Martha said as she got a dozen plates from the cupboard.
“I’ll teach you,” Ruthy said as she mixed biscuit dough. “What kind of pie is your favorite?”
“Anything. Apple, sugar cream, peach...”
“Do you like shoofly?”
Martha gave Ruthy a puzzled look. “Shoofly? I’ve never heard of it.”
“I have,” Waneta said as she poured the beaten eggs into another pan. “Grossmutti said she ate it when she was a girl in Lancaster County, but she never had the recipe.”
“I have a recipe for it. It’s my mam’s favorite. We can make one this afternoon and have it for supper.” Ruthy slid the pan of biscuits into the hot oven and then turned the potatoes one more time. She moved the pan to the back of the stove. They were done perfectly.
“Martha,” Waneta said, “make sure the little ones are up. Breakfast is almost ready.” She stirred the eggs one more time, and then moved the pan of oatmeal away from the heat.
“Let’s see,” Ruthy said, “we have sausage, eggs, potatoes, oatmeal, biscuits, canned peaches... Is that everything?”
“You made the coffee, didn’t you?” Waneta looked up from stirring the eggs, her eyes wide.
“Coffee! How could I forget?”
Waneta shook her head and reached past her for the coffeepot. “Dat’s a bear without his coffee in the morning.”
Just what she needed, a bear.
The girls came into the kitchen, sleepy-eyed but dressed. Ruthy had them finish setting the table, then she glanced out the window and saw Levi and the older boys heading toward the house from the barn.
Waneta saw them, too. “Martha! Dat’s coming!” She directed her voice toward the stovepipe, and then saw Ruthy staring at her. “The stovepipe goes right up through the little boys’ room. She’s there getting them out of bed.”
Somehow, with Waneta and Martha’s help, breakfast was on the table before Levi Zook and the older boys finished taking off their boots and washing up on the back porch. The younger children slid into their seats, and the family took their places around the table. Ruthy didn’t look at Levi, but kept busy helping Sam sit straight on his end of the bench.
Silence fell, compelling Ruthy to risk looking at the stony face at the other end of the table. Waneta was right, he could be a bear in the morning. Last night forgotten, she stared back at him.
“Is there something you need, Levi Zook?”
“What happened to the coffee?”
Ruthy’s knees shook beneath the table. How dare he! Her first morning in a new kitchen, breakfast on the table on time, the children all awake and dressed and he questions her about coffee?
The coffeepot gurgling on the stove was the only sound as she kept her eyes locked on his.
“Your coffee will be ready after we thank the Father in heaven for our food.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Ruthy saw Nellie look from her to her father, and back again. Jesse stared at her with an open mouth, and Nancy giggled.
David broke the stony silence. “Dat, can we eat now?”
Levi Zook didn’t answer, but lowered his head as a signal for the silent prayer. Ruthy closed her eyes, but her mind wasn’t on the food before them.
“Dear God, help me survive this day.”
* * *
Levi cast about in his mind for words to pray. Any words would do, but they were nowhere to be found. Making do with a quick Denki for this food, Levi raised his head and lifted his spoon. Every morning since his marriage the clink of his spoon in his coffee cup was the signal for his family to begin eating, but without a coffee cup he made do with a sharp rap against the edge of his plate.
Taking the platter of sausage, he shoveled four or five patties onto his plate, and then passed them to Waneta at the same time Elias passed the bowl of scrambled eggs to him. When Elias handed him an empty bowl with oatmeal clinging to the sides he looked at Waneta.
“Ja, for sure, Dat, there’s more on the stove to