“And?”
He blushed even deeper. “Well, you know how it is.”
“’Fraid not.”
“We were all flirting with her for the hell of it, acting like guys, but it didn’t mean anything. At least for me it didn’t. She helped each one of us to bed, and I vaguely remember trying to kiss her.”
Matty braced herself. “And after the kiss?”
“I don’t remember anything after that.”
She warned herself not to hope. “Then how can you assume you’re the father of this kid?”
“Why else would she ask me to be the godfather?”
“A million reasons.” Matty couldn’t stem the tide of hope. “You’re a good friend. You’re steady. You have the resources to handle this sort of responsibility. You’re caring. You’re gentle. You’re—”
“Clueless! I don’t know the first thing about babies!”
“So that’s why she sent the kid with an instruction manual.” Matty felt incredibly lighter. Just friends, he’d said. He couldn’t even remember the experience, if there had been an experience to remember. Elizabeth wasn’t the product of a torrid love affair. At the most, she’d been conceived in a passing moment he couldn’t even recall. Matty smiled down at Elizabeth. Maybe this wasn’t such a disaster, after all.
Sebastian watched Matty feeding the baby. She didn’t seem completely at ease doing it, but she appeared reasonably competent. Besides that, she looked very nice with that baby in her arms. Softer, somehow. She’d left her blond hair down around her shoulders tonight—that could be part of it. Usually she kept it tied out of the way with a bandanna, or twisted into a single braid.
He’d always thought Matty should have kids, but Butch couldn’t have them and he wasn’t the kind of guy who’d consider adopting. Butch. Sebastian’s gut always tightened when he thought about his late, great neighbor. He’d considered him a good friend. He’d mourned his death after Butch accidentally flew his Cessna into a mountain.
Unfortunately, for her parting shot, Barbara had ruined his memories of Butch by revealing their long-standing affair. Sebastian didn’t think Matty knew about that, and he wasn’t ever planning to tell her. He wished Barbara had kept the information to herself, except that it made the divorce easier to accept.
Matty had deserved better than Butch, Sebastian thought as she leaned over Elizabeth and looked into the baby’s eyes. Matty had the most honest blue eyes he’d ever seen. He’d trust Matty with his life, he realized with some surprise. He’d never thought in those terms before, and it startled him.
He could count on one hand the people he’d place that kind of trust in—Nat Grady, Travis Evans, Boone Conner…and Matty Lang. Not long ago he might have included Jessica in that number, but this baby thing made him wonder if he knew her at all. Leaving a two-month-old child didn’t seem to be in character with the Jessica he remembered.
Matty was studying the baby, as if to find some clue about her daddy’s identity. Sebastian was plenty curious about the baby’s looks, himself. Now that she wasn’t all red and screaming, maybe he’d recognize something.
Setting the papers on the lamp table, he got up and walked over to Matty. “Can you tell the color of her eyes?” He hunkered down next to the rocker, balancing himself with one hand on the arm of the chair.
“They could be gray, could be blue. It’s hard to tell.”
He leaned closer and looked into the baby’s eyes. They looked disturbingly familiar. Damn, but they could be the same color as his. This little bundle could be his daughter. His. His stomach twisted. This wasn’t the way he pictured bringing a child into the world, abandoned by her mother and thrust upon a father who didn’t know what the hell he was doing.
“What color are Jessica’s eyes?” Matty asked.
He wrestled his thoughts away from visions of doom.
“Um…let’s see. Brown? Maybe brown. I’m not real sure.” He liked the way Matty smelled, he thought as he compared her light scent to Charlotte’s overpowering perfume. Holding Matty wouldn’t force a guy to wear a gas mask. Holding Matty. Now there was an intriguing thought. She’d probably knock him from here to kingdom come. Or worse, she’d laugh.
She turned toward him with a smile. “Well, that settles it. You’re not carrying a torch for this woman.”
“No, I’m not, but why are you suddenly so sure?” It must be the episode with Charlotte that had him thinking crazy. All that kissing earlier in the evening had him looking at Matty’s wide, generous mouth and wondering how she’d be to kiss. Talk about crazy. This was Matty, a woman he’d known for ten years. Maybe he was only seeking a distraction from his morbid thoughts about this kid.
“A man in love knows the exact color of his lady’s eyes.”
“Is that right?” He’d always gotten a kick out of the definite way she put things, as if there could be no doubt in anyone’s mind that she was absolutely, positively correct. He could use some of that comforting certainty right now. “And how did you come to learn that particular fact?”
“I read.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that. There’s a thick book in that box I’d love to have you dig into.”
Her smile faded. “Now, wait a minute, Sebastian.”
He muttered a soft curse. “Sorry. That was clumsy. I didn’t mean to imply that I expected anything more of you than you’ve already done.”
“Didn’t you?”
He sighed and pushed himself upright. “I don’t know what I mean. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” He gestured toward the two boxes. “From the looks of this, Jessica’s not coming back tomorrow.”
“No, I don’t think she is.” She hesitated. “Have you considered…taking her to Canon City and…turning her over to—”
“No!”
Elizabeth jerked away from the bottle and started to cry.
“Oh, hell.”
“You scared her.” Matty tried to get the baby to return to the bottle, but she refused. Hands curled into fists, she beat the air and wailed.
The baby’s cries scratched along Sebastian’s nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard. He clenched his jaw, feeling helpless and inadequate.
“Maybe she has gas,” Matty said. “She probably swallowed a lot of air with all that crying.”
“Well, I can tell you this much, she’s too damned little for Tums.”
“Take the bottle.” Matty handed it to him and lifted Elizabeth, positioning her over her shoulder. The baby kept crying as Matty patted and stroked her back.
“Maybe I should hire a nurse.” The idea of a strange woman taking up residence in his house depressed the heck out of him, but it might be the only solution.
“Maybe.” Matty patted a little harder and gradually Elizabeth stopped crying. Then she let loose with a huge belch.
“My God!” Sebastian stared at the baby.
Matty grinned at him. “Delicate little thing, isn’t she?”
“I doubt Travis could make that much noise, and he’s put in hours of practice.” He smiled back at Matty. He’d become so used to her that he hadn’t really looked at her in a long time. But tonight,