Now Carlee was left grief-stricken, wondering how on earth she was going to manage. She had to work and finish school in order to get a promotion, but she could not trade baby-sitting as Alicia had done. That meant she would have to pay for Scotty to go to a day-care center, and she just didn’t have the money. Plus, she had taken on the added responsibility of the funeral, because there was no one else to take care of it, and she had not wanted Alicia buried like a pauper.
Though she hadn’t had time to really think about it, Carlee had already tossed aside the idea of trying to find another roommate. The apartment was small, and the only reason she and Alicia had shared it was that they got along so well. She didn’t want to take a chance on someone else not being so congenial.
“But don’t you worry, little guy,” she whispered in Scotty’s ear as the funeral service ended. “We’ll be okay.” She pulled his blanket more tightly around him. It was spring, but the day was damp and cold, even for the central coast of Florida. They were near the Indian River, and a chilly wind was blowing in from the water.
Scotty awoke and started crying. She popped his pacifier into his mouth, promising to feed him as soon as they got home. Her own stomach gave a hungry rumble, and she couldn’t remember the last time she herself had eaten. Coffee had been her only nourishment in the despair that had wrapped about her since that fateful Sunday only three days ago.
The hospital chaplain, James Barnhill, had offered to conduct the graveside services after learning Alicia did not have a minister of her own. He had been so kind that day in the ER, helping Carlee to fill out the forms, then driving her and Scotty back to the apartment. He and his wife had even come by later with food. He had also suggested that she see a lawyer as soon as possible about the necessary paperwork to have her officially named Scotty’s guardian. The note Alicia had written would start the ball rolling, of course, but there were legal procedures that had to be followed.
As she turned to leave the gravesite, Mr. Barnhill said, “Miss Denton, the other ladies have told me earlier that they had worked with Miss Malden and would like to meet you. Do you have a moment?”
Carlee murmured, “Of course,” and he motioned to the four women standing nearby.
They oohed and ahhed over Scotty, talking about how Alicia was always bringing pictures to show them. Carlee thanked them for sending the floral blanket to drape over the casket. They said they were glad to, for they’d thought the world of her.
Then, as people are prone to do at funerals, they did not linger.
Except for one, Marcy Jemison. “Alicia’s baby is so cute,” she said, gently patting his cheek, then holding her arms out invitingly.
Scotty promptly jerked away, growing crankier by the minute.
Carlee apologized. “Sorry. He would normally go to you, but he’s not feeling well today for some reason.”
“Well, who can blame him? It’s his mother’s funeral. Maybe babies sense things. Who knows? And this was such a shock. I mean, Alicia seemed tired at work lately, but heck, I’ve got a baby, and it’s tough taking care of a kid when there’s no man around. We heard that Alicia gave him to you right before she died. What are you going to do with him?”
It was a blunt question, but Carlee knew the girl meant no harm. “Take care of him the best I can and love him like he was mine. I already feel like he is. I was there when he was born and lived with him ever since.”
“Well, I think you should make his father help. Everybody knows the creep was married, and how he dumped Alicia. I hate men like that. They have their fun and then take off, and to hell with what happens to the woman.”
“He didn’t know she was pregnant when he went back to his wife,” Carlee said stiffly, not wanting to discuss Alicia’s personal life but feeling the need to clarify the situation. “When they met, he told her he was getting a divorce, and when he quit coming around the lounge, she figured he and his wife had probably worked things out. She never told him about the baby, because she didn’t want to cause any trouble.”
Marcy frowned. “That’s what she told you?”
“Yes, and if you’ll excuse me, I need to get Scotty out of this raw weather.”
“Sure. But think about what I said. If he can be found, you ought to make him pay. I wasn’t working with her then, but she never would tell anybody his name.” Her brows rose in question. “Did she ever tell you?”
“Just his first name—Nick. She didn’t like talking about him.”
“Well, that’s a shame, but you know, he might not have been from around here. We get a lot of tourists at Cocoa Beach. Plus technicians from all over the country are always coming in to work at the Cape on temporary assignment, so who knows? But if it had been me, I’d sure as heck have put his feet to the fire for child support.”
Carlee agreed with Marcy but understood Alicia’s reluctance. Her friend had also suffered a painful childhood. Her father had abandoned her mother and gone to live with another woman. But unlike Carlee’s mother, Alicia’s had been so determined to collect child support that she would go to the woman’s door when payment was late and demand it. She dragged Alicia with her, and the older Alicia got, the more humiliated she felt. Then one day the woman opened the door and threw the money in her mother’s face. Alicia had told Carlee, tears streaming down her face, that she would never forget the sight of her mother down on her hands and knees picking up the money from the ground.
Carlee had assured her things were different now. The father could be ordered to pay directly to the court, and if he failed to do so, the court would take care of tracking him down. But Alicia still felt that was demeaning. If a man had to be made to do something, she didn’t want him.
Scotty cried all the way home, and Carlee felt as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. She’d hardly slept a wink since Alicia’s death, worrying how she was going to manage. She hadn’t been to work in three days, and her manager had said she had to report tomorrow because her cosmetics counter was having a promotion and they would be extremely busy. In addition, she had used up all the absences from class that she was allowed. One more and she would be dropped from the course.
Scotty was still fretting when Carlee tried to give him his supper, but she was so exhausted it was all she could do to keep from falling asleep. Finally she gave up and put him in his crib, then phoned Fran Bremmer, the woman Alicia had swapped baby-sitting with and asked who was keeping her little girl.
“My neighbor. For twenty-five bucks a day. I can’t afford that much longer. Do you want to work out a deal like I had with Alicia?” she asked hopefully.
Carlee told her she wished she could, but she had to go to work. “Do you think your neighbor could keep Scotty tomorrow? If I don’t go in, I’m afraid I’ll lose my job.”
“I’ll give you her number. You can call her and see.”
Carlee was relieved when she called and the woman said she would—but only for that day. She really didn’t have room for another child. Carlee was grateful but knew she would have to find time at work to call around for a baby-sitter.
Seeing Alicia’s things scattered around the apartment was more than she could bear, so after moving Scotty’s crib into her room, she gathered all the reminders and put them in Alicia’s room, then closed the door. Later she would clean everything out, but there were too many other things to be done first.
Going over the bills spread out on the kitchen table made her sick with worry. The funeral home had said she could make payments, but there was also the pediatrician’s bill. Alicia had fallen behind paying it, and Carlee wanted to take care of it in case Scotty got