“I’m well aware of the fact that you’re a professional, with years of experience in matters like this.” Catherine’s right hand fluttered nervously at her neck as her fingers toyed with the collar on her white silk blouse. “I have no intention of giving you any trouble, Mr. Murdock. I’m perfectly willing to accept your leadership in this matter.”
“Well, that takes a load off my mind, Catherine.” He emphasized the use of her given name and took great delight in the displeased look she gave him. But instincts warned him that her giving lip service to his leadership and actually following his orders were two different things entirely.
Murdock filled a kettle with tap water, then placed it on the stove eye to heat. Taking two black mugs and a small box from an upper cabinet, he set them on the counter and then removed a couple of tea bags and placed them in the oversize cups.
“I’d like to freshen up,” Catherine said.
“Bathroom is to your right, between the two bedrooms. Can’t miss it.”
“Thank you.”
She found the bathroom and hurried inside, then closed the door behind her. She slumped against the wall, letting her head rest on the cool glass-block surface that enclosed the small room. What was she doing here, in this man’s apartment, making preparations to fly away with him on a dangerous trip into foreign country? She didn’t have an adventurous bone in her body. All her life, she had taken the safe path, avoiding all unnecessary risks. And here she was, putting her life in this stranger’s hands, gambling her very existence on his ability to keep her safe. Had she completely lost her mind?
If you don’t go to Zaraza, your father will die in prison, her conscience taunted her. You have no choice, but to do the right thing. Somehow she knew that if her mother were alive, her mother would risk anything to save the man she had cut out of her life ages ago— A man whose name Mae Beth McCroskey had whispered with her last breath. If her mother had loved her father that much, then Lanny had to be worth saving.
Catherine wet a washcloth and patted the cool dampness over her face as she gazed into the mirror. She hadn’t slept well last night and it showed in the faint darkness under her eyes. After washing her hands, she left the sanctuary of the bathroom and returned to the kitchen area of Murdock’s apartment.
As she approached him, she said, “You knew my father very well, didn’t you?”
“He was my sergeant in Vietnam,” Murdock said. “That’s where we met. And then later, we worked together.”
“As mercenaries?” Catherine pulled out one of the round-back metal stools that lined the wide bar which separated the kitchen from the rest of the open space.
Murdock didn’t answer her immediately. Instead, he rummaged around in the refrigerator. When he turned to face her, he held a plate of sliced ham, a head of lettuce and a ripe red tomato. “Want a sandwich? It’s nearly dinnertime.”
Murdock placed the dish on the counter, puzzling over her sudden curiosity. Just what did Catherine want to know about her father? he wondered. How much did he dare tell her about Lanny’s life? About the assignments they had shared, the risks they’d taken, the bloodbaths they had been a part of more than once. He didn’t think Lanny would want his little girl to know the details of his soldier-of-fortune life.
“I know that after my father returned from Vietnam, he resigned from the army and became a mercenary,” she continued. “His job choice was one of the reasons he and my mother eventually divorced.”
“Then why ask me, if you already know?”
“Because I never really knew Lanny McCroskey.” Catherine eased down on one of the stools and hooked her feet beneath the circular rounds on the bottom. “I was barely eight years old when he came home from Vietnam and in those eight years, he’d been away from us more than he’d been with us. Then three years later, he and my mother divorced. I never saw him again.” She paused, waiting for Murdock to comment. He didn’t. Instead he laid plates on the counter and opened a loaf of bread.
“Ham sandwiches okay with you?”
“Why don’t you want to talk to me about my father?”
“Mustard? Mayonnaise? Both?”
“Are you deliberately trying to irritate me?”
“All I’m trying to do is fix you some tea and a sandwich.”
Catherine stared at the big man. The expression on his face one of total calm, Murdock met her gaze head-on and didn’t so much as flinch. What was it that he was determined not to tell her? Why was he being so evasive?
“I’ll take both mayo and mustard,” she replied. “But please, let me help.” She knew there was nothing she could do to persuade this man to talk to her, to tell her about her father. All she could do was cooperate. After all, whether she liked it or not, she needed Murdock to go with her into Zaraza and bring her father back alive. He could well be her father’s only hope for survival—and her only hope, too.
“Sit tight,” he told her. “I can throw a couple of sandwiches together.”
She nodded her agreement. They exchanged brief, hesitant looks. But she understood the significance of his quick yet penetrating stare. And she suspected that he knew exactly what she was thinking. They were strangers, two people joined in a common cause—saving Lanny McCroskey’s life. After all, her father was their only bond, the only reason they’d met. Neither wanted or needed to become better acquainted. Each feared the other, on a purely primitive level. And despite their shared interest in Lanny’s welfare, they didn’t quite trust each other.
Silence separated them as surely as if it were a tangible wall. Murdock prepared the sandwiches and tea, then placed a plate and mug in front of Catherine. He eased his large frame down beside her on one of the stools, then lifted the thick sandwich to his mouth. She sipped the tea and eyed the man-size sandwich he’d made for her.
“The war messed your father up pretty badly.” Murdock laid down the sandwich and lifted the mug in both hands, gripping it firmly. “You know. Mentally and emotionally. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be the man he’d been before…he just couldn’t be.”
“Why didn’t he get help? A psychiatrist could have—”
“All the doctors in the world couldn’t have put Lanny McCroskey back together. Believe me, Catherine, he wanted to be a good husband and father. And he did try. For a couple of years. But once he realized he was hurting your mother…and you…by being in your lives, he split.”
“And became a mercenary?” Catherine nervously circled the rim of her mug with the tip of her index finger.
“He was a trained soldier. It was the only life he knew. And…” Should he tell her? Murdock wondered. It wasn’t as if she were still a kid who needed protection from the truth. She was a grown woman. “I think your old man had a death wish.”
Her full, pink lips formed an oblong oval as she gasped softly. “A death wish?”
“I was with him the day he…well, the day I thought he died. One of the last things he said to me was that he’d been living on borrowed time ever since Nam.”
“You were with him when—”
“We were on an assignment in Zaraza. We were trying to get through enemy lines in order to get a vital message to a contact.” He couldn’t tell her details of the mission or explain that the U.S. government had been playing a part in the ongoing revolution for the past twenty years. “Your father sent me with the message, knowing that by staying behind, he was saving my life and sacrificing his. So you see, if he’s still alive and there’s some way I can get him out of Zaraza, then I’m going to.”
“Because