“You can say it, Pam,” said Barbara ruefully. “We’ve had experience raising a child.”
“Yes, exactly. That’s what I meant. And if you had to, um, keep Janee, well, you’d have a child again. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Are you saying I’d have a replacement for Caitlin?” said Barbara thickly.
“Come off it, Pam. You can’t replace a child,” said Doug through clenched teeth.
Pam raised her chin defensively. “I know that, Doug. That’s not what I meant. It’s just that you and Barbara are both so fond of children, I thought you might enjoy having a child in your home again.”
Not on your life! Barbara wanted to shout, but she resisted the urge. “Are you telling us you don’t want to take Janee?” she asked instead.
“You know us,” said Benny. “Pam and I decided right up front, no kids, ever. With both of us working twelve-hour days, what could we give a kid?”
Love, for a start, thought Barbara. But a dark reality struck home. That was something she herself wasn’t ready to give. She had loved one child once. She couldn’t imagine ever loving another.
“Besides, you work at home, Barb,” said Pam. “A child wouldn’t upset your routine. You could still give your piano lessons.”
“Listen, this is a moot issue,” said Benny, raising his large, square hands like a referee. “I believe Nancy is going to get well, so taking care of the kid will be a temporary arrangement. You can handle that, right, Barbara?”
Barbara pretended not to hear the question. At the moment, with Nancy’s life hanging in the balance, Barbara had all she could handle just sitting at this table carrying on a simple conversation and trying to keep her sanity.
Doug reached across the table and cupped his hand over hers. “No one’s making any decisions about Janee tonight,” he said firmly. “Let’s all try to get a good night’s sleep—and see what tomorrow brings.”
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